DUI Motorized Chair Brings In Bucks For MN Town

Check out the souped-up motorized recliner below:

DUI motorized chair recliner

So, how much would you pay for such customized comfort? $100? $200? $43,500? And what if I told you that there’s a criminal story behind the self-propelled seat?

Read more…

Boy Beats Cancer, Gets Cut From Basketball Team

The Eagan (MN) Traveling Basketball Association has a funny way of rewarding the brave. One of its participants, young Conor Smith, was 11 when he was stricken with a brain tumor in 2007. During his treatment, doctors also diagnosed Conor with Leukemia. Obviously, basketball was out of the question as he received chemotherapy for the rest of the 2007 season, but he returned to play in 2008.

Conor Smith Basketball Leukemia
(Sorry, Conor, but you’re going to have to learn that life is full of unreasonable people sooner or later.)

Fast-forward to 2009, and while tryouts were going on, Smith was in the midst of a 3-week stint where he needed casts on his legs to ease stiffened calf muscles. From the chemotherapy. Because, you know, he was a child recovering from cancer. Well, regardless of the fact that he’ll be out of them soon, the lowest division of Eagan Traveling Basketball has decided to axe him from the ranks of players. Really.

Read more…

Jay Glazer Will Not Suffer ESPN’s Mockery Gladly

Jay Glazer will not be bullied by the Boys from Bristol. In fact, the Fox Sports reporter declares, I wouldn’t mind punching one of these guys!”

Jay Glazer

• Wonder if Don Ohlmeyer will mention this in his next ESPN ombudsman column.

• The Knicks’ Nate Robinson Tweets about his recent arrest as it happens!

• For finally signing Stephen Strasburg, the Nationals show their gratitude toward interim GM Mike Rizzo by giving him his walking papers.

• Who would you rather name your new high school after - Alonzo Mourning or Janet Reno?

Read more…

Bank Robbery, A Round Of Golf; It Was A Full Day

There’s an O.J. Simpson joke in here somewhere, but darned if I can find it. Anyway, this man robs a bank in St. Paul, MN, and immediately after making his getaway, he does the totally logical thing — he heads straight to a nearby golf course to get in nine holes. Marking his ball with gold Krugerrands was a dead giveaway.

Frazier E. Turner, 50, of St. Paul — who says that he has a gambling problem — was arrested at Phalen Golf Course with cash from the robbery tucked into his golf bag. He was charged Wednesday in federal court with robbing the TCF Bank at the Cub Foods store at 1177 Clarence St.

Read more…

Hockey Coach Has Sex With Players, Keeps Job

Sadly, we’ve heard all-too-many stories about male youth hockey coaches sexually abusing their players. But a story coming out of Minnesota adds a new wrinkle to the mix: this time, none of the victims are dudes!

Shattuck St. Mary's girls hockey

The latest (alleged) perv is Eric Darwitz, the 31-year-old coach of the girls hockey team at a prep school called Shattuck-St. Mary’s. Charges were filed against him yesterday for inviting two of his 16-year-old players over, supplying booze to them, then topping things off by having sex with them when he was the coach at another school nearly three years ago. The school he coaches at now is one of the best prep hockey programs in the country. So how did they respond to these terrible allegations? They fired him immediately, right, since he’s at a boarding school and many of the girls he’s with now don’t have parents around?

Read more…

Bert Blyleven’s Dinner Plans Not Very Appetizing

Normally he just drops f-bombs on live television, but Minnesota Twins analyst Bert Blyleven’s going to embarrass himself in a different fashion on a live broadcast tonight at the Metrodome.

Bert Blyleven

(Can’t he just bring this shirt back and wear it on the air instead?)

Blyleven, whose father died of Parkinson’s Disease a few years back, is going to be indulging in a feast of sorts on the air to benefit the Parkinson Associaton of Minnesota. And what he’ll be eating is usually something that even the people on Survivor would look at and go “nah, I’m good, I’ll just eat this chunk of wood instead.”

Read more…

NFL Great Carl Eller Claims Police Abuse In Suit

Everyone makes mistakes, even all-time great NFL players. Well, former Vikings star and Hall of Famer Carl Eller was caught while making one of those drastic mistakes in judgment last April, when he nearly collided with a police car while driving drunk, then harassed arresting officers who attempted to take him into custody when he pulled into his house, leading to a diverse dossier of charges: fourth-degree assault, terroristic threats, driving while impaired and refusing to submit to a chemical test.

carl eller

Well, now Eller is turning the tables on the Minneapolis police department, filing an 18-page lawsuit that the arresting officers who arrived at Eller’s home used “improper impact and unauthorized force” when arresting the 66-year old senior citizen. According to Eller’s lawyer Albert Goins Sr. in a story in the ST. PAUL PIONEER-PRESS, Minneapolis officers hit Eller in the head with a flashlight, subdued him with a chokehold and tasered him multiple times.

Read more…

Election Night: Hockey Hottie Beaten For Palin Pin

You couldn’t tell it by looking at her, but Annie Grossmann is a tough kid.  She’s only 5′2 and weighs 120 pounds, but that never stopped her from playing on the boys hockey team in high school back in Alaska.  Annie is now in Minnesota, where she plays hockey at Augsberg College in Minneapolis.  She’s also a Republican which apparently doesn’t sit well with a lot of her fellow students at the school.

Annie Grossman

Last Tuesday night Annie joined a group of her friends to watch the election results and cheer on John McCain and her fellow Alaskan Sarah Palin.   After it became obvious that Barack Obama was going to win the election, and after dealing with the taunts of Obama supporters around her, she decided to head back to her dorm room.  Unfortunately for Annie, she still had her McCain/Palin pin on her shirt.

Read more…