• Jenna Jameson happily announces that she’ll soon deliver a new li’l Tito (or Titoette) Ortiz into the world.

(DVD obsolescence would be good for her adolescent)

• Did Tony La Russa stop Bruce Springstreen from stepping on the St. Louis stage on time?

• The FBI is looking into Lindsey Hunter’s involvement in some shady suburban housing shenanigans.

• NBC notes nothing about a gold medal-winning Aussie diver’s alternative lifestyle.

• The LPGA demands that all their players learn to speak English good.

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If there is one rule all athletes should live by, it’s not “avoid cameras when you go out to the bar” (though that is a pretty solid rule). It’s this: Whatever you do, however frustrated or angry you become in the athletic competition in which you are competing, do not, under any circumstances, bite an opponent.

No one told that Olympic boxer from Tajikistan the rule, and you saw what happened. Someone should have told Welsh rugby player Gareth Jones the same “No Biting Whatsoever” rule. But he didn’t know, and now he’s gone and taken his opponent’s ear off.
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More proof that rugby players might be the toughest athletes in the world: even their ex-athletes turned criminals are more hardcore than in the US. Witness the case of former New Zealand professional rugby player Mike Edwards: the WELLINGTON DOMINION POST reports that he has been charged with beating a convicted murderer to a pulp and leaving him for dead. Which is a lot more impressive (in a Quentin Tarantino sort of way) than getting sent up the river for dog fighting.

Police allege that Edwards kidnapped Michael Sneller and beat him with a shotgun until he was unconscious and then left him in the trunk of a car. Sneller had previously been convicted of murder in 1983 after beating a businessman to death in what was described then as “a classic gangland burglary, beating and killing.”

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• THE WORLD OF ISAAC uncovers US soccer player Natasha Kai pulling a Brandi Chastain after the Americans beat Brazil for the women’s gold:

Frankly, we prefer to ogle Brandi’s original shirt-shedding.

• UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL can’t believe what they’re seeing, as a British couple thinks they’ve found a missing girl, but the child turns out to be the non-missing son of a Croatian soccer player.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED pulls no punches, as Mike Tyson says he’s done with boxing. (At least until his next appearance fee check clears.)

• WITH LEATHER finds A-Rod hanging with the new Menudo. Ay caramba!

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• It’s good to see Stacy Johnson-Klein find employment once again.

Then again, it’s always good to see Stacy Johnson-Klein, period.

• Brady Quinn is not gay, so don’t go cruising online for him.

• Mike Tyson to fight in Spain? Sounds like a lot of bull to us.

• After losing a baseball bet, one Brewers fan went homeless for a week.

• Hideo Nomo says no mo’ major league baseball for him.

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According to EURO WEEKLY NEWS, Mike Tyson is getting back in to the ring. The former heavyweight champ who turned 42 in June, is reported to be a part of an “international competition” that will be held next month in Benidorm, Spain.

“Iron Mike” who was last seen in the ring sparring for the public at the Aladdin (now known as Planet Hollywood) in Las Vegas back in 2006, is joined on the August 12 card by Spaniards, Kiko Martínez and Roberto Santos and British fighter, John Simpson. No word on who Mike will be fighting, if he’s actually fighting anyone at all.  Read more…

Every former heavyweight champ has to go into some sort of business venture post-retirement, whether high-profile (George Foreman) or the usual restaurant or office building owner. (Some might even say a forced retirement and a business opportunity would be optimal for say, Evander Holyfield.) Former champ Larry Holmes is taking that opportunity, by signing autographs and playing video games with kids at a Circuit City opening in Naples, Florida.

The NAPLES DAILY NEWS was there to cover the opening, and while pushing the game “Don King Presents: Prizefighter” (first 100 copies sold come with your own salt-and-pepper King wig), Holmes lamented the state of the heavyweight division and the state of its former champions.

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• Tom Hoffarth of FARTHER OFF THE WALL is sad to see the passing of legendary NFL broadcaster Charlie Jones.

• DEADSPIN punches up rumors that Mike Tyson had ordered a hit on the guy who killed his bodyguard.

• MR. IRRELEVANT informs us that Jamie Mottram is leaving “Blog Show“. Well, once you’ve had Erin Andrews, what else is there?

• WHO ATE ALL THE PIES finds this year’s Pulitzer winner: A German Euro 2008 reporter running late for his flight decides to call in a bomb threat.

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• WITH LEATHER by way of THE ANGRY T jabs up news of Mike Tyson dining on a new piece of cheesecake - a former British “Big Brother” house mate.

• SI’s Richard Deitch uncovers the cameraman who got a towelful from a ravaging Rasheed Wallace.

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE relays news that sprinter Michael Johnson is returning one of his “tainted” gold medals.

• MR. IRRELEVANT sends a friendly reminder that Erin Andrews will be on Tuesday night’s “Blog Show“.

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Gisele’s not in Maxim’s Hot 100? Looks like it’s time for Tom to trade her in.

• It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! A Cinderella story - caught on tape!

• Why must the children pay for the sins of the mother - especially when it comes to Little League concessions?

• The Baltimore Ravens cheerleaders flock down to the Dominican Republic for their bikini calendar shoot.

• The T-Wolves’ Fred Hoiberg will be bringing along a special stuffed friend to make the NBA Lottery a little more bearable.

• Does Mike Tyson really want a Slice of Kimbo?

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