• SHUTDOWN CORNER chows down on the revelation that Redskins TE Chris Cooley wouldn’t be where he is today (like marrying cheerleaders) if not for the fine fast food folks of McDonalds, Taco Bell, etc.
Wonder how the meals were on his honeymoon.
• WITH LEATHER drives up news that the North Las Vegas P.D. thinks Ben Roethlisberger is a big dummy.
• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS zings up video of “Scrubs” star Zach Braff’s small-screen debut - as a horny student at ESPN’s Bristol University.