It’s been a great past few years for Bill Martin. No wait, no it hasn’t. He essentially blew any chance at landing LSU’s Les Miles a couple years ago when he too busy sailing in the Caribbean to take Miles’ agent’s calls; he hired Rich Rodriguez instead, which, wow; and now’s he’s just going to go ahead and retire (presumably so he can just sail in some peace and god-damned quiet).

(You want my ID? These microphones and reporters are my ID. Get outta here.)

His retirement’s not effective for another 10 months or so, though (September 4, 2010, to be precise), so Martin’s still got a lot of work to do. Athletic directin’, administratin’, and the timeless pastime of old rich people: gettin’ pushy with the help. Cue the incident reports!

Read more…

Earlier this season, Michigan had to deal with the suspension of Jonas Mouton after he was caught sneaking in a quick sucker punch on a Notre Dame player. All of this was much to the chagrin of Rich Rodriguez, who had maintained that Mouton had not done anything wrong and would not be punished by the team. After that, RichRod became the conference’s most vigilant film studier, pointing out a questionable forearm shiver by Purdue’s Zach Reckman on a defenseless Northern Illinois player as that game ended. Out came the Big Ten Banhammer once again, and Reckman caught a one-game suspension from the conference. Video of both offending plays is after the break.

 (Bussed-under Boiler to Rich Rod: MAD MUCH?)

Surprisingly, Reckman and Boilermaker head coach Danny Hope weren’t terribly impressed with Rodriguez’s involvement in Purdue’s disciplinary procedures and took it a little personally. So even as revenge is a dish best served on a scoreboard–Purdue 38, Michigan 36, in this instance–Hope and Reckman decided to make the most of the opportunity of meeting RichRod at midfield after the game. Commence catty slapfight ownage. Read more…

In case you hadn’t heard, it sounds like Ohio State is going to wear some throwback uniforms for their annual tilt with Michigan on November 21. We saw a blurry camera pic of the jersey yesterday and scratched our heads; it hardly looked like a throwback, just another future-tron white jersey that are all over college football these days.

(Well well.)

ELEVEN WARRIORS appears to have found the rest of the uniform, pictured above. Now, the “throwback” stuff comes into play. The font for the numbers on the helmet seems to have been stolen directly from the Pittsburgh Steelers’ current uniforms, but the pants are old school to the core and it all looks exactly the way you’d want a throwback to look, really.

Read more…

In case you missed it, Saturday marked the official end of the “Michigan’s already back” storyline for 2009. How else to interpret a 38-13 loss to an Illinois team that hadn’t beaten a I-A team all season long?

(Yeesh.)

Michigan actually led 13-7 and had first-and-goal on Illinois’ 1-yard line in the second half. They failed to capitalize, gave up three touchdowns in the third quarter, then had a chance to bring the game back to a one-score contest early in the fourth. Unfortunately, Tate Forcier fumbled on a sack, Illinois defensive end Corey Liuget recovered, and that is very bad news for you, Mr. Liuget; you’ve made Michigan left tackle Mark Ortmann angry, and Ortmann punches manballs when he’s angry. Video after the break.

Read more…

Hey, someone has to drive around and photograph all the college cheerleaders, then post the photos and break down their performances on his web site. That someone is Orlan Ree, Jr., editor of the Cheer Times. One of man’s finest inventions, in my opinion.

This isn’t just some eye candy receptacle: They’ve put a lot of work into this. Besides the photos, which aren’t salacious, there’s plenty of reporting about what it’s like to attend games at the various stadiums, prices for parking and concessions and so forth, and of course reports on the cheerleaders themselves. Following the jump, the shocking truth about the Michigan Wolverine football cheerleaders, and oh yeah, other photos via the link. Read more…

It would pretty well suck to be Rich Rodriguez these days. After all, the Detroit press seems to be on a witch hunt, except it’s not really a hunt, since RichRod’s already right there and they’re not looking for anyone else. At the same time, though they tut and moan about everything about the program, wins are the only thing that’ll shut them up, and they’ll come when they come.

(Not a man having a good time.)

So when some good news from off-the-field business comes along and can help Rodriguez manage the media horde, well, that’s just plain great. Nothing can possibly go wrong with a piece of news like “Michigan’s GPA is the highest it’s been in 25 years,” which Rodriguez says the Academic Success Program told him. Why, just a few months ago, he told reporters, his Wolverines “have recorded the highest GPA ever recorded.” Great news! Let’s just let the newspaper double-check on this and oh dear no, we’ve got a bit of a discrepancy. Juuuust a bit.

Read more…

Last week, we heard the story of former Michigan hoops star Rumeal Robinson evicting his own mother from her house… on 2 Rumeal Robinson Place. Perhaps he learned the mom-eviction trick from Claudio Vargas, we don’t know. But it was clearly a bad situation brought on by financial ruin, which is hardly news when it comes to athletes who “only” make about $5 million in the bigs.

(Maybe life would have gone better if he’d missed these free throws, all things considered.)

Turns out Robinson blew through his money at an exceptional rate, though, to the point of declaring bankruptcy while he was still in the NBA. Amazingly, things only got worse after that, and as with all other problems in human history, strippers are at the center of it all.

Read more…

Okay, sure, it’s a little strange to be picking out the minutiae of things like college football uniforms. We freely admit that. But if nobody was ever interested by it, we wouldn’t have the UNI WATCH BLOG, and even if we did it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining as it actually is.

(As opposed to the other Forciers around here…)

To boot: Michigan and their venerated, unmistakable uniforms, always in the maize and blue. The Wolverines, like most college football teams, have the players’ names on the back of the uniform. The trouble is, something as simple as the First Initial Rule seems to be giving them trouble, and they seem to be screwing up the nameplates in every way short of just plain misspelling players’ names.

Read more…

One of our favorite aspects of going to college, especially at a Big Ten school, was tailgating. No surprise, really; it combined three of our favorite things about life: drinking, football, and debauchery. Bomb a test? No worries, just make it to Saturday morning, and six beers later you’re not thinking about any exams, just that co-ed with the lewd t-shirt in front of you (NOTE: your tailgating experiences may vary).

(My God, the horror of it all. Don’t you see what you’re doing to society, children?! You’re ripping it apart!)

But even in the Big Ten, there are worrywarts and spoilsports, agents of tailgate ruination whose agenda matters more to them than does your ability to have a good time. To that end, the most overly self-conscious school in the BXI whose name doesn’t rhyme with “Borthwestern” is trying to fundamentally alter tailgating, both in terms of behavior and consumption. It’s for your own good, you know.

Read more…

Leader in the clubhouse for Big 10 coach of the year is Indiana’s Bill Lynch. Lynch had this reax after an official made off with the Hoosiers’ potentially game-winning final drive at Michigan. (Not that there’s any shame in being one of UM’s five victims this season.)

(Where’s that damn chair? MANAGER!?!?!)

I was a little surprised though at Lynch’s reaction to the screw job. I suppose forgetting which sideline you’re on can happen to the best of us.

Video - while it lasts - after the jump. Read more…