• Charles Barkley has some relationship advice for Shawne Merriman: “You don’t get your women from reality TV.”

• Well, Jay Cutler’s debut for the Chicago Bears could have gone better.

• Fox Sports reporter Chris Myers compares Larry Foote’s jersey from the Steelers to the Lions to going from dating Beyonce to Whoopi Goldberg.

• Michelle Wie’s blog is worth checking out - if only for the leather skirts.

• Jim Tressel says Ohio State fans are unhappy & miserable. And William Rolle sort of proves the coach’s theory.

Read more…

• Michelle Wie has her own blog where she can showcase some of her off-course talents - such as art work and wearing leopard & leather outfits.

• No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills - mainly because they keep putting themselves in disastrous situations.

• A Nigerian soccer player tries to earn a roster spot by smuggling heroin.

• A furious female Canadian boxer decides to beat up some British soldiers because they were “being gay” on the dance floor.

• Successful sales of a 5,000-calorie burger fills minor league team’s coffers, clogs minor league fans’ arteries.

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There was a time earlier this decade when Michelle Wie was labeled by some as the Next Big Thing in golf. Then, as she aged, she slowly progressed from phenom to curiosity to relatively unknown, if not forgotten. It can’t be easy spending one’s teenager-hood under the judgmental microscope of American sports media, but with very few exceptions, Wie handled the pressure and expectations just about as well as one could possibly expect.

(All growed up.)

Though the harsh spotlight has dimmed, the 19-year-old is still playing on the LPGA Tour. For all the talk of bust and wasted potential, she’s a respectable 16th on the tour money list with nearly $600,000 in winnings this season. She’s also a student at Stanford University who appears, like many college kids, to be growing up and discovering new talents and interests. Thankfully for the world, Wie is sharing those interests with the world via her new blog.

Read more…

Remember when M. Night Shyamalan made good movies? And I’m not talking about the one with the kid seeing dead people. I’m talking about “Unbreakable”. That’s right, I’m the guy who liked that movie. I’ve stuck to my guns over the years on this on the off chance that the film enjoys a resurgence and I can take credit for being a fan all along.

(”One hundred and thirty one die. One survivor. He is unharmed.”)

That’s all beside the point. The reason I bring it up is that there are occasionally people who show up in the news who defy all logic and survive in the most dire of circumstances. For instance, there was that 12-year-old girl who survived a plane crash in the ocean a couple of months ago.

But a new candidate for our generation’s David Dunn has emerged, and his name is “Punch”. At least, that’s the nickname former hockey coach Ernie McLean has gone by for most of his adult life. McLean coached at the major junior level for 16 years, and led the New Westminster Bruins to four Memorial Cup titles (that’s the biggest prize at that level of hockey).

(Punch once got lost in the pattern of this jacket for three days without food or shelter)

He’s also survived a number of incidents that would’ve killed most mere mortals. The latest came this week, when the 77-year-old endured five days and four nights lost in the wilderness in British Columbia when he fell into a crevice while prospecting for gold (they still do that?). With no food, and subsisting just on stream water, he spent entire days walking and eventually reached higher ground, where he was spotted by a helicopter search team.

Most 77-year-olds couldn’t last a full day without their heart pills and a “Diagnosis Murder” rerun. But this is no ordinary 77-year-old. Says CBC in a story about McLean’s latest heroics:

Reed credited McLean’s legendary toughness, and a bit of luck, for his survival, noting McLean previously survived a plane crash in Saskatchewan, and walked out of the woods alive a few days later despite losing an eye and breaking several bones.

He’s also survived car accidents, being run over by a bulldozer and being stranded on a frozen lake in freezing conditions for several days.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure if you’ve wandered around without an eye for a few days that being a little wet in the forest isn’t going to really phase you. Perhaps McLean should ditch the gold prospecting in the deep wilderness and do something a little more acceptable for an old guy, like going to the golf course with a big net and fishing out Titleists. See if you can turn that into a weeklong “Blair Witch” debacle, Punch. (h/t to the PUCK DOCTORS)

(I guess being lost in nice scenery is better than being locked in a car trunk for a week)

Perhaps she should be more worried about her husband hanging out with teenagers, but it looks like Danica Patrick has made her decision about where she’ll be racing next year. And while jumping to NASCAR would provide unbelievable marketing opportunities and a much larger audience, both on TV and at the track, it appears that she’ll be hanging around with IndyCar for at least one more year. (I bet the new turbo button had something to do with it.)

(Maybe if she stopped holding the steering wheel like this, she’d win a race or two)

MVN’s Christopher Estrada seems convinced from the tweets of the INDIANAPOLIS STAR’s Curt Cavin that Danica is about to sign a new deal with Andretti Green Racing. But all the L.A. TIMES would say on Sunday morning is that the chances of her staying were “more than 50%,” and an AP story from after Sunday’s race in Sonoma made it sound that while a deal was close, nothing was really finalized.

I suppose there’s not too much to be read into any of this. While Patrick visited several NASCAR teams during the year, it doesn’t sound like any real serious offers have been made for her services. Perhaps she’s using the news of her impending new deal with AGR as a last-ditch call for offers from the left-turn circuit. For now, her line of reasoning is, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Danica leaving IndyCar would be a huge blow for the series, to the point where viability would have to become a concern. There’s nothing wrong with Dario Franchitti, Scott Dixon, and Ryan Briscoe, but could you pick them out of a police lineup? Ratings are hockey-esque as it is, so removing the one bankable star would be a big problem. Would ABC even want to show races other than the Indy 500?

For now, that’s a question that doesn’t need to be asked.

• BASEBALL DIGEST wonders why the Mets acknowledged every other living member of the 1969 World Series championship team during a ceremony on Saturday night (even those that didn’t attend), but completely ignored second baseman Ken Boswell. Boswell played 102 games that year and spent eight years with the Mets, but reportedly didn’t even get an invitation to the celebration.

• A golf course groundskeeper found a 10-pound mammoth tooth on one of the greens at the course he works at in Michigan. Does that count as an immovable obstruction, or do you have to putt around the tooth?

• Well, Michelle Wie has finally won something. Of course, she needed 11 other people to help her do it. The Americans wore some nice matching outfits and took down the Europeans to win something called the Solheim Cup.

• Jason Giambi’s pulling a Dave Kingman and going to Colorado’s AAA affiliate to play for a week or so before the team plans to call him up for September. Am I dating myself with a Dave Kingman reference?

• NESN is freaking out that Ken Rosenthal supposedly suggested that the Red Sox might acquire Billy Wagner to be their closer next year and then ship Jonathan Papelbon up to somewhere other than Boston. The theory being that they’re grooming Daniel Bard for the closer job and just need a guy like Wagner to bridge the gap. Perhaps this is why Paps isn’t too comfortable with the whole thing. And I’m NOT going to post the dance video again…oh, who am I kidding:

(”Nawt Paps! Who’ll do the rivahdance? Wagnah sucks!”)

• Ravens rookie linebacker Tony Fein was arrested last night after he allegedly shoved a police officer. A security guard at a restaurant that Fein was eating at thought that he saw Fein pass a gun to one of his friends. It was a cell phone. Police arrived and then things got testy. This is why I’ve always said that the Glock Blackberry was a bad idea.

• I thought John Smoltz refused a AAA assignment, so why was he pitching against the Padres yesterday?

• At least 27 Tulane football players have been struck by a rapidly spreading flu bug. It’s not yet known whether or not they have swine flu, but it’s not being ruled out at this point.

• BLEACHER REPORT wonders why the Oklahoma Sooners are playing the first football game that actually means something at the new Cowboys Stadium.

(I’m pretty sure I could punt a ball into that screen)

• The WIZ OF ODDS says Barrow, Alaska’s high school football team is off to an unfortunate 0-3 start after a 48-13 loss at home on the blue turf on Saturday afternoon. Barrow is the northernmost town in North America and is only accessible by plane. And yes, they start playing in mid-August to take advantage of “summer” temps that soar into the low 40s. For more on Barrow’s team, see this post we did last year.

• The man arrested for stabbing English soccer player Calum Davenport is the boyfriend of Davenport’s sister. Cara Davenport is pregnant, allegedly with the attempted-murderer dude’s child. And now her brother will likely never play soccer again, and her mother is also in the hospital for stab wounds. Yikes.

I was happy to see Michelle Wie methodically earn her LPGA Tour Card last weekend. We all know of the tribulations she’s gone through the past few years, and it was somewhat of a relief to see that Wie may well come out of it all the better. Miraculously and no thanks to her father, I might add.

Today I got an email from a friend who pointed me to the website of another so-called golf phenom named Brayden Bozak. My buddy had visited the site after being directed by a Google ad for it. (Yes, a four-year-old’s website about his golf game is being advertised on Google.)

The Colorado native Bozak, now four-years-old, has actually been known in media circles since he was two, with this as a typical report from WCBS-TV:

Brayden Bozak is not your typical 2-year-old golfer. With his daddy as his caddie, the only thing that matters to him is getting the ball in the hole.

“It’s amazing because he is still in diapers,” said Brayden’s father, Reid. “And the kid comes out and hits the ball, you know, 50 or 60 yards.”

While most kids his age are putting their parents through those terrible twos, Brayden’s got bigger plans. He wants to be Tiger Woods when he grows up.

Reid also has high hopes for his son, but said his wife slows him down when he thinks too far ahead. “I am anxious to see how he grows and evolves as he gets a little bit older,” he said.

Gee, wonder how they found out about the “next Tiger Woods“? Could it have been dear ol’ dad?

ABC’s Good Morning America also aired his ball-driving abilities, and continued the Tiger comparisons. And here’s Dad Reid talking to a Denver media outlet about his baby son’s *golf career*: “He’s a three-year-old who has a dream. … Obviously, we’ll put in resources and time into making sure he has fun doing it. And he can leverage those resources to be who he wants to be.”

The only thing I was dreaming about when I was three was pop tarts and butterflies.

Now the little one has his very own promotional website - despite the fact that he’s yet to play in a high-profile tournament (as if there are any?).

Until now.  Read more…

You know, I was just thinking recently that Alex Rodriguez needs to do some more to endear himself to the rest of the country the way he has with the people of New York. It seems now that, in addition to not being a True Yankee, A-Rod is also not a True American as he’s allegedly decided to play for the Dominican Republic in March’s World Baseball Classic. He played for the U.S. in the 2006 WBC, but perhaps thinks that jumping ship might be the only way he sees a title of any kind in his career.

(Flipping countries. Rooting for Duke. Seriously, what’s not to like about A-Rod?)

None of this is a done deal yet, as the only source of this info seems to be YAHOO! SPORTS’ Gordon Edes, who says Big Papi told him that A-Rod has chosen to play for the D.R. and will make an official announcement soon. And last time, he wavered between playing for the D.R., then the U.S., then not at all, then back to the U.S.

This isn’t totally egregious (like Chris Kaman playing for Germany in the Olympics), as other players chose to play for their countries of heritage rather than their birthplace in the last WBC, but none of those guys were good enough to be chosen to play for the U.S. team (except maybe Mike Piazza, who played for Italy). A-Rod is one of the best players in the world, and while he did live in the D.R. for a while as a kid, he was born in New York City and went to high school in Miami. Luckily, Americans are totally reasonable about nationalism. I’m sure U.S. fans will greet him very warmly if the two teams meet up.

Remember when it looked like Louisville might be a football dynasty in the making? We can pretty much put that to rest. The Cards simply forgot to show up last night and got rolled by Rutgers, 63-14. With the loss, Louisville finishes 1-6 in Big East play and misses a bowl game for the second straight year. Meanwhile, Rutgers has risen from the dead and looks like one of the best offensive teams in the country all of a sudden. Quarterback Mike Teel, who was smacking teammates earlier in the season in the midst of the team’s 1-5 start, threw six touchdown passes in the first half as the Scarlet Knights built a 49-0 halftime lead. Louisville was so bad they had to resort to tackling RU players by the hair:

I forgot that the Raiders and Chargers were playing on the NFL NETWORK last night, and by the time I turned it on it was already 24-0 in the second quarter. San Diego cruised to a 34-7 win. Oakland’s only points came on a kickoff return at the end of the first half. Good to see the Raiders are back after that inexplicable win over Denver a couple weeks ago. As for the Chargers, it looks like too little, too late. The Bolts have to win out (including a win over the Broncos) and hope Denver loses every game. And the Broncos are playing the Chiefs this weekend. Not looking good.

With the ACC-Big Ten thing over with, college basketball now turns its attention to the awkwardly-named Pac 10-Big 12 Hardwood Series, which saw both L.A. teams go down on the road. UCLA fell to Texas, 68-64, while USC squandered a late comeback bid and lost to Oklahoma, 73-72. I gotta say, though — I like Blake Griffin and think he’s a stud, but he’s already getting the superstar treatment from the officials and it’s only December 4th. Although, Griffin did get elbowed in the nads by USC’s Leonard Washington during the game, which was a pretty legitmate foul. See for yourself:

• The BOSTON HERALD tells us about a high school football player in Massachusetts who dropped out of school, then returned for a fifth year to play football and graduate. He’s been ruled ineligible because the state’s rules say that a player beyond a fourth year of school can’t play. The guy’s only been in seven plays all year, but his team may have to vacate it’s league and potential state title (provided they win this weekend). Of course, there’s all sorts of legal challenges going on.  The lesson here: don’t try to better yourself by returning to school.

• Ball State coach Brady Hoke supposedly isn’t big on money, but the BALL STATE DAILY NEWS says he’ll still need more of it if he’s going to stay in Muncie for much longer. He’s the eighth-highest paid coach…in the MAC.

• FANHOUSE’s Bruce Ciskie says the Stars are looking at ways to get rid of Sean Avery. That was quick. At least he lasted longer than Melrose did in Tampa. To make this more exciting, here’s a photo of Avery’s “sloppy seconds” with new boyfriend Dion Phaneuf:

• LAS VEGAS NEWS BLOG says that people are selling tickets to the supposedly sold-out De La Hoya-Pacquaio for half price.

• Khalil Greene is going to be hitting .220 in St. Louis next year. The ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH reminisces about the Cards’ middle infield carousel over the past few seasons.

• The United Football League doesn’t have any teams yet and one of its main investors is in some trouble for insider training. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have a vaguely inappropriate logo! WITH LEATHER brings us this:

• The last time the Bills played in Toronto, during the preseason, thousands of tickets went unsold and had to be given away. NATIONAL POST says that this weekend’s game at the Rogers Centre is finally sold out, but the fact it took so long is not exactly what the Bills and the NFL were looking for in this whole Canada experiment.

• So far, it appears as if Michelle Wie is actually going to qualify for the LPGA tour. She’s tied for the lead after 2 rounds of Q-school, and only has to finish in the top 20 to earn a tour card. So, it’ll be like, an actual accomplishment. In golf.

• Some team just gave Edgar Renteria and his .699 OPS $18.5 million. Yup, it’s gotta be the Giants. FANTASY 411 makes this sound way more reasonable than it really is.

• Finally, ESPN’s Paul Kuharsky has the heartwarming tale of a ball of tape that the Titans are treating like it’s one of their teammates. Cute for a while, then kinda weird.

• GOLF BABES tees up the latest fashions we hope to soon see Natalie Gulbis & Anna Rawson sporting - golf lingerie.

• SI’s Arash Markazi understands Emmitt Smith doesn’t like Ocho Cinco’s plans to smooch the Cowboys’ star: “He can kiss the star anytime he wants, but not after scoring a touchdown. I have a problem with that.”

• Not to be outdone by Jamie Apody, YOU BEEN BLINDED pours out a clip of Manny Ramirez getting a female Fox reporter all wet.

• PLAYING THE FIELD needs some help with their pigskin picks. So they go to someone who knows all about skin - a guy who works at Victoria’s Secret. In the meantime, we’ll go ask the models.

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Agent Zero is once again aborting his mission of playing a full NBA season healthy, as Gilbert Arenas underwent knee surgery on Wednesday.

(Gilbert passes out from the pain?)

The Wizards star says the doctoral slicing & dicing will cause him to miss training camp, the preseason and the first part of the regular season - meaning he won’t be on court until at least December. This will be surgery #3 for Gilbert’s left knee, but you know what they say - the third time’s the charm. If anything, the recovery process should give him plenty of time to stay more current on his blog.

(The Red Sox’s rotten play on Wednesday pains Mike Lowell [L])

Mike Lowell sat out Wednesday night’s Red Sox-Rays contest due to a sore hip - or maybe he was just hip to what awaited the Beantown ballers, as Tampa Bay trounced Boston 10-3, taking a 2-game lead in the AL East. Meanwhile, the Diamondbacks slithered up to 3 1/2 games back of the Dodgers in the NL West, as Arizona got the better of the Giants, while L.A. was pummeled by the Pirates.

The rest of the MLB playoff picture made little change from yesterday - the Mets, Phillies & Brewers all won to keep the NL East & NL wild card chases the same status quo, while the White Sox & Twins both tumbled to keep the AL Central centered on a 2 1/2 game separation.

It seemed strange that Louisville & Kansas State faced off on ESPN on a Wednesday night. Rather than the usual Thursday night college football coverage, the Cardinals & Wildcats clawed it out in a TV slot usually reserved for a matchup between MAC schools (Ball State-Eastern Michigan, anyone?). So, why the weird Wednesday scheduling?

All was explained when Mike Tirico paid a mid-game visit to the broadcast booth at Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium -  the move was made to help the Worldwide Leader further promote their Ryder Cup coverage. ESPN is set to televise Thursday’s Opening Ceremonies and will continue Cup coverage through the weekend. And where’s this year’s Ryder tourney? The Valhalla Golf Club, right in Louisville, Kentucky. Now that’s what I call corporate synergy!

Oh, and the Cards KO’ed K-State 38-29. Schools from the Sunflower State probably should stop scheduling Big East opponents and stick with Sam Houston State.

And now on to more pressing matters:

• The RIVERSIDE (CA) PRESS-ENTERPRISE tees up news that Michelle Wie is doing quite well at Q-School, as the teen swinger is currently holding second place in the LPGA qualifying tournament.

• MLB.COM learns that Manny Ramirez won’t let Joe Torre give him the day off, as the Dodgers outfielder dutifully declares, “I’m Cal Ripken!”

• NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO hears that Roger Goodell is worried the NFL won’t make hundreds of billions of dollars this year, but only tens of billions.

• Kansas Jayhawks QB Todd Reesing needs a better press agent, as even reporters from the LAWRENCE WORLD-JOURNAL don’t recognize the local star signal-caller.

• BUGS & CRANKS gets a sneak peek at the 2009 MLB schedule. The Yankees & Mets will be opening their brand-new ballparks against their storied foes - the Indians & Padres?!?!

• WISN-TV motors up news that Wisconsin Badgers LB Jonathan Casillas is facing charges of drunk driving - while riding a moped.

• Jake Miller of the DAILY PRINCETONIAN tells all about his summer internship at ESPN. And his greatest moment in Bristol?  Holding the door for Erin Andrews.

• The ARIZONA REPUBLIC lays down the law, as the small town of Guadalupe may soon be without a police force. Where’s Clint Eastwood when you need him?

• The MIAMI HERALD splashes up the story of one local high schooler who swam for Suriname in the Beijing Olympics.

• The ASSOCIATED PRESS passes along the revelation that when Tony Romo plays at Green Bay this weekend, the Wisconsin-bred QB will be stepping onto the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field for only the third time in his life.

In honor of Jeff Pearlman’s new book on those crazy Dallas Cowboys, we present our pertinent poll of the day:

If the whole “YOU MUST SPEAK ENGLISH” mandate from the LPGA was just a ruse to give the ladies some much-needed PR — even if it outraged everybody — if this keeps up, the tour could become relevant in the time it takes to hastily dial (213) 785-7675 into your cell phone.

That’s right, runway model and golfer Anna Rawson is tied for the lead after the first round of the Bell Micro Classic. This wouldn’t be noteworthy if not for the fact that she’s currently 150th on the money list and she’s extremely attractive. The former makes it sort of a compelling story, the latter makes it front-page news. Or at least it should.

Read more…

• Jessica Simpson decides to talk a little smack at the Philadelphia Eagles. What could possibly go wrong?

• Vince Young still feels a bit down - maybe a shrink can help him out.

• Curt Schilling won’t share in New York’s elation over Tom Brady’s injury.

• Wooooo! Ric Flair gets beaten up by his daughter’s boyfriend, yet it’s the daughter who gets arrested for assaulting the cops.

• Pete Carroll won’t play around with your conference call phone pranks.

Read more…