The Rock, Paper, Steroids; Lenny’s A Lousy Boss

Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, comes clean about past steroid use. Show him all’s forgiven by paying $14 to see “Race To Witch Mountain”!

The Rock Dwayne Johnson Lenny Dykstra

Lenny Dykstra - great boss, financial genius, and friend of all races. And if you believe that, there’s a bridge in Brooklyn we’d like to sell you.

• It’s March Madness time! Awkward high-five between old white guys!

• Despite his marvelous on-court skills, Dwyane Wade won’t be schoolin’ anyone in Miami this year.

• New video shows Donte Stallworth taking a sobriety test after last weekend’s car accident that killed a pedestrian.

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Michael Ruffin Is Like The Dr. Doolittle Of The NBA

We will not be visiting Michael Ruffin’s house. As a matter of fact, we probably won’t visit 99.9% of any NBAers’ houses, be they past or present athletes. (Our only hope is tripping over Chris Andersen’s cardboard box in an alley, really.) But we’re going to make a specific point not to visit the Ruffin residence. In fact, you should too, because what’s there can probably kill you.

(Among Ruffin’s ani-pals is this guy, who’s either an “African spur-thigh tortoise” or Bill Russell.)

That’s because, according to BEHIND THE BEAT or whatever THE OREGONIAN calls their Blazers blog, Ruffin has animals. Lots of ‘em. Weird ones. And say what you will about the joy of adventure or whatever, but when it comes to sharing a domicile with a tarantula… we’ll just err on the side of “no chance of a giant spider sinking its teeth into our face” and say “no.”

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