• In lieu of a new NFL rule, an adult film company makes an offer to place its ads on the Houston Texans’ practice jerseys.

• Despite some secretly-planted grass, the Red Sox still continue to spank the Yanks at Fenway.

• Alonzo Mourning thinks Kobe is a better coach than Phil Jackson.

• Phillies slugger Raul Ibanez gets irate at a blogger for making steroid accusations, offers to show his hair, blood, urine, stool… you get the idea.

• Ex-NFL bust Ryan Leaf is on the run from the law over his drug charges.

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Michael Phelps is a man of many talents. He’s the fastest swimmer ever. He hangs around with girls whose shirts can’t stay on. He takes bong rips with superhuman efficiency. Let’s add “children’s author” to that list, because hey, why not?

(A Tyrannosaurus can’t even fit in a pool. This seems counterproductive.)

Yes, that’s actually a book that’s called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. We’re not scare-mongering; this is really happening. From the book’s page on AMAZON.COM, a most helpful description of what the hell the book is about: Read more…

• Meet Maria Verchenova, the swinging Russian sweetie who hopes to do in golf what fellow countrywoman Maria Sharapova has done in tennis.

• Glen “Big Baby” Davis makes Magic fans cry by hitting a game-winning shot - then bowls over a young courtside spectator. Of course, the kid’s dad isn’t very happy with the Raging Luna-Celtic.

• A Baltimore-area stripper claims that there’s nothing Michael Phelps likes better than sex & spitting tobacco.

• That Nuggets-Mavericks series certainly was a fierce one. If it wasn’t Mark Cuban getting into it with Kenyon Martin’s mom, it was Carmelo Anthony’s fiancee LaLa Vasquez jawing with Dallas fans.

• But Dirk Nowitzki steered clear of any such confrontations, since he had his own problems with his own fraudulent fiancee. Hey, Dirk - Tony Banks feels your pain.

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As evidenced by Wednesday night’s Pittsburgh Penguins’ romp over the Washington Capitals, not every Game 7 in hockey is something special. But let’s face it - most of them are. And when you throw overtime into the mix? It’s about as good as it gets. It’s drama that you cannot turn away from - at any second, the game and the series could be over with one thunderbolt.

So it was that the Carolina Hurricanes and Boston Bruins skated at the end of the first overtime in their Game 7 in Boston, looking for all the world like they were going to a second extra period - or more. And then out of nowhere, a shot was flipped towards the net, Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas was unable to control the rebound, and winger Scott Walker pounced to put the puck in the net for his first career playoff goal to end the game 3-2 and the series.

And the fact that it was Walker who scored the series-winner had to hurt Bruins fans doubly, since he was the person who sucker punched Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward near the end of Game 5. According to NHL rules, Ward should have been suspended for Game 6, but the league rescinded the suspension after a hearing on Monday. So he went from almost breaking Ward’s face to definitely breaking the Bruins’ hearts.

(Of course, even though it was a Game 7 overtime winner, it arguably wasn’t as impressive or as cold-blooded as how the Hurricanes scored two late goals to send the New Jersey Devils packing in Game 7 of their first-round series. If I’m the Penguins in the Eastern Conference finals, I’m doing everything I can to close them out early.)

The Detroit Red Wings’ Game 7 victory over the Anaheim Ducks didn’t go to overtime, but it sure had its share of drama. Detroit went up two goals early, only to see Anaheim claw back to level the score at 3-3. But Dan Cleary scored with three minutes to go to give the Red Wings the go-ahead goal and Detroit’s defense was able to make it stick, setting up a Western Conference Finals match-up with the Chicago Blackhawks.

Oh, you say that you prefer NBA Game 7s? Well, you’ll have your chance for satisfaction soon enough, as two teams fought off elimination to earn one deciding game. In Orlando, the subtle message that Dwight Howard sent to Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy through the media (i.e. “quit being an idiot and get me the ball”) must have sunk in, as Howard had 23 points and 22 rebounds and the Magic forced a return trip to Boston with an 83-75 victory over the Celtics. None of which apparently excited Orlando fans to show up, as there were “patches of empty seats early in the game.”

No wonder Commissioner David Stern was at the Lakers vs. Rockets game. And speaking of late-arriving - someone might want to tell the Lakers that Houston is in a different time zone, because they clearly aren’t showing up for games there until it’s too late. Much like in Game 4, Los Angeles put themselves in a huge hole they never could get out of, at one point closing an early 16-point deficit to two points but finally running out of steam and falling 95-80 to force a Game 7 at Staples Center. Meanwhile, the Denver Nuggets wait and rest.

Here’s some more sports news to digest while I try to figure out how to be part of “Bike To Work Day” when I work from home.

• This is just getting sad: the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS says that former Yankee turned absolute train wreck Jim Leyritz checked himself into a psychiatric ward in Florida after calling his ex-wife and threatening suicide.



• The two biggest offseason losses for the Indianapolis Colts could be offensive coordinator Tom Moore and offensive line coach Howard Mudd, as the INDIANAPOLIS STAR reports that the two might be forced to retire thanks to changes in the NFL’s pension plan.
• Remember when Darius Miles was going to be “The Next Big Thing” in the NBA? That lasted about three months. Now he’s just a journeyman who loves strip clubs and, apparently, the weed: the ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH says that Miles was arrested on Wednesday night for having pot in his car while driving with a suspended license.
• Your daily Brett Favre Update Despite Any Real News: Chris Mortenson and Ed Werder combined mind powers to let us know that Favre consulted noted orthopedic specialist Dr. James Andrews to see if his bicep injury could be fixed without surgery. Which means that he’s definitely going to play for the Vikings. Or definitely not. Or whatever.
• COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says that Steve Spurrier won’t give up on trying to instigate the whole “Urban Meyer to Notre Dame” rumors. I’m going to start my own “Steve Spurrier to North Texas” rumor - it’s just about as credible.
• Major league umpire Paul Schriber had to apologize for touching the Tigers’ Magglio Ordonez while guiding him away from home plate following an argument over balls and strikes. The folks at BOOTLEGGER SPORTS aren’t buying this touchy-feely stuff, and they’re using “Bull Durham” as Exhibit A:
• Michael Phelps is back doing what he does best. I’ll wait for you to make a snarky comment about what that is…because what I meant was swimming, as the WASHINGTON POST reports that he’s in Charlotte for his first competitive swim meet since the 2008 Olympics.
• Milton Bradley: still crazy, but his suspension for bumping an umpire has been reduced from two games to one. And Rick Morrissey of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE suspects that the Chicago Cubs are OK with his insanity.
• They’re still working out the kinks at Yankee Stadium, and MLB.COM has the latest change: they’ve changed their policy to let more people be able to attend batting practice.
• You might remember the case of Peter Jeschke, the former Santa Barbara High School tennis coach accused of getting his underage players drunk as a reward for good play and trying to sleep with them? You can remove the “accused” from that sentence now, as the SANTA BARBARA INDEPENDENT says that he’s been found guilty in his trial.

Tim Floyd, USC’s men’s basketball coach for the moment (and this after almost becoming a leader of Wildcats), allegedly paid a handler a thousand dollars in cash to be delivered to O.J. Mayo in a successful attempt to encourage the young point guard to follow through on joining USC for a season after signing his letter of intent.  (No, the handler wasn’t Li’l Romeo.  Good guess, though.)

Everyone from the handler to Floyd to USC could be in varying levels of trouble if true.  Therefore, absolutely no one except YAHOO! SPORTS’ source will speak on the record.   Their investigative journalism has been hit and miss, though their commitment to providing original reporting has not wavered.

It’s unclear how seriously the reporting from the site with the silly name can be taken, though, as they clearly do not have fake conversations where they hype their stories around a ridiculously small table while being filmed in black-and-white.  It’s not really journalism if it’s colorized.

(Journalism!)

From one stereotypically smoky back room to another, Delaware’s legislature has passed a law permitting sports betting in a desperate attempt to fill a gaping $600 million maw in the state budget.  The governor has promised his signature on the bill once the state Supreme Court has spoken to the state constitutionality of the bill.

Delaware is one of only four states with a legal exemption to a 1992 federal law banning sports gambling and the only one east of the Mississippi.  State lawmakers have high hopes of becoming a gambling mecca for sports enthusiasts; one called the opportunity “an unbelievable cash cow”.  Again, it’s unclear how true this can be if no one will be allowed to gamble on the Wilmington Blue Rocks.

(The only thing you can tease here is the moose, sir)

Finally, from one set of rocks to another, Boston came back to defeat the Orlando Magic 92-88 last night to take a 3-2 series lead in a highly predictable collapse from the team in blue that has only one mode: jack the three up and cross your fingers.

Houston also got a condescending pat on the head for their Game 4 effort without Yao Ming before being penetrated 118-78 by the Lakers and falling behind 3-2 in their series. The Rockets now only have one reliable position: fetal.

(”… so that’s winning!  Interesting.”)

On the other hand, three fine NHL Game 7s have now been scheduled after wins by Anaheim and Boston last night.  Detroit never found its offense despite approximately 40392109 minutes on the power play while Carolina’s Cam Ward couldn’t quite figure out what all that goalie equipment should be used for. One possibility: handing off $1,000 in cash to the next O.J. Mayo?

And now a hail of bullet points discovered behind the olive loaf sandwich in the break room fridge; you know, the fridge that sent half your office to the hospital…

• Michael Phelps will return to competitive swimming this weekend with a new stroke to show off.  Seeing will be believing, though; it’s very difficult to imagine Phelps has tired of the breaststroke in the slightest.
• Managers Clint Hurdle and Eric Wedge appear to be on the path to an early tee time with Bob Melvin.  Both gentlemen received the dreaded vote of confidence yesterday, which is just a stalling tactic for the Rockies and Indians while they try to get the permission slips for their next managers signed by their parents.
• White Sox closer Bobby Jenks has supposedly been fined a grand total of $750 for throwing behind Ian Kinsler, though it’s likely more so for blabbing about his headhunting proclivities.  If that doesn’t sound like a lot, it’s probably as much as he spends on his hideous facial hair each season.
• Ryan Zimmerman’s hitting streak is up to 30 games, proving Zimmerman to be the only bankable asset in Washington that can pass a decent stress test.
• Danny Granger is your most improved NBA player this season.  Hopefully, he will enjoy his better parking spot and coupons for the team cafeteria (not valid on meatloaf day).
• Roger Goodell isn’t satisfied with hinting at more regular season games or expanding the NFL Draft to three days in prime time; now he’s sniffing around multiple NFL games in Europe each season. If you know of any lotion that will help prevent chafing of cash cows due to overmilking, please contact the Commissioner’s Office, c/o this station.
• What’s that?  A walkoff walk?  Bring out the shrimp!
• A Twin Cities columnist would like the damned hippies to get off his public land lawn with their Frisbee golf.  You can practically hear the rocking chair creak between paragraphs.
• Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth stole second, third, and home last night.  Joe Morgan has filed the necessary paperwork to legally adopt Werth.
• A 17-year-old wunderkind golfer will participate in this weekend’s PGA Championship.  He’ll be the youngest participant in the event ever, reminding you gently that you will never be as successful in your whole stinkin’ life as he has been before high school graduation. Now have a great day!

• Meet Maria Verchenova, on course to be the Maria Sharapova of golf.

• Glen “Big Baby” Davis had Orlando Magic fans in tears last night after sinking the game-winning shot - and running over a kid on the sidelines. But now the youngster’s peeved papa demands satisfaction.

• Not taking too kindly to the taunting of her son, a Little League mother attacks one of the name-calling kids and calls him “white trash” in return.

• Speaking of matriarchs in sports, Mark Cuban gets into it with Kenyon Martin’s mom, telling her her son is a “thug“.

• Dennis Rodman reportedly dines & dashes from a Miami restaurant, but not before one of his men mauls the manager.

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We’ve learned quite a bit about Michael Phelps since he won all those gold medals last summer, but perhaps nothing was more “shocking” than the fact that a young man likes to take a hit from the bong once in a while. It was Britain’s NEWS OF THE WORLD who were originally kind enough to share those pictures of Phelps toking, and now they’re back with even more fun facts about Phelps.

That lady in the pink teddy right there is a stripper named Theresa White who works at a club in Baltimore. White claims that she’s gone home with Phelps before with some friends where they engaged in a three-hour love romp suitable for VH1 reality programming. She also shares a few more interesting facts about the Olympic hero, and of course, her breasts, too.

(More pics of tell-all Theresa after the jump.)

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Being Michael Phelps‘ arm candy is a rough job. Back in December, former Phelps flame Caroline “Caz” Pal claimed she was being “victimized by the media” when topless photos of her surfaced across the internet (including here at SPORTSbyBROOKS).

Now, recent Phelps companion and Miss California 2009 Carrie Prejean, who first made waves with her decidedly traditional views on marriage, is coming under fire for some naughty photos of her own (after the jump, of course).

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Last we heard, Olympic swimmer and bong poser Michael Phelps was still palling around with Vegas waitress girlfriend Caroline “Caz” Pal. But now it appears that the 8-time gold medal winner has collected a new trophy - Miss California Carrie Prejean.

Xana O’Neill of NBC DFW reports that the Miss USA runner-up has been a frequent companion of Phelps lately, whether it’s going out to ball games or going out for dinner.

And who’s been leaking this info out? Why, Carrie’s grandma, of course!

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Fourteen-time gold medal winner and notable toker Michael Phelps is in New York City right now to visit his mother, Debbie Phelps, as she makes the rounds on her book tour. And it seems he’s looking to give his mom some material for a second book.

Phelps has kept a low profile since photos of him taking a hit from a bong hit newspapers and websites everywhere, but you can only keep a party animal caged for so long.  On Tuesday night Phelps hit the New York City club scene, and according to witnesses he had himself a pretty good time.  Though it appears he’s replaced the bong with bottles of Grey Goose.

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