Note to Martellus Bennett: This is not exactly how Spike Lee started out. While the concept of a “Black Olympics” — speed eating watermelon and fried chicken, among other stereotypical delicacies  — may have looked funny on paper, the Dallas Cowboys’ tight end would do well to run his student films by a focus group before unleashing them on the public.

After a rather significant media backlash over Bennett’s YouTube masterpiece, the aspiring filmmaker and part-time NFL player has had to take to the airwaves for damage control. While defending his concept, he still managed to prop up the old “If I offended anyone, I’m sorry” bromide. Come on Marcellus, you’re better than that.

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The COURTHOUSE NEWS SERVICE says that a man is suing Tampa Bay Buccaneers Anthony Davis and Michael Bennett over a fracas that took place at an IHOP back in October. In the suit, Brian Gordon alleges that Davis and Bennett (along with a third man) battered him in the parking lot of the IHOP, to the point that the restaurant added him to the menu as the new Fish ‘n’ Chips special. Get it? Because he was battered.

I’m shocked at the allegations. Not that they involve NFL players allegedly acting like complete idiots - there’s nothing surprising there. But that it happened at an IHOP. Everyone knows that if there’s drunken mayhem to happen at a late night restaurant, it should be happening at a Waffle House. (Just ask Kid Rock.)

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