• Are Alex Rodriguez and the little missus on the fast track to splitsville?

• The Kansas City Wizards sure know how to treat their female employees.

• What Dwyane Wade & Michael Beasley have is a failure to communicate.

• It’s dangerous to come between a man and his woman, but it’s even worse to come between a Razorback and his scooter.

• No one is safe from Joe Maddon’s “Devil Rays” dollar fine - not even John Challis, the Pennsylvania teen battling terminal cancer.

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A one-act play, wherein one day of the Miami Heat is encompassed in a slightly humorous and revealing manner and we reveal why Michael Beasley did not return Dwyane Wade’s call recently:

(C’mon, kids; we’re puttin’ on a play! Call Harry Morgan!)

Dwyane Wade: Thanks for Beez’s number, Coa… Pre… Pat. I’ll call him right away.

(Wade dials new Miami Heat teammate Michael Beasley; the phone rings.)

(Beasley tries to put down ice pack on his sore chest and reach for his cell phone. Unfortunately, his hands are slippery from picking up the ice pack and he drops the phone under his bed. The phone continues to ring.)

(Wade sighs at the still-ringing call when he gets another call. Caller ID shows it’s Charles Barkley. Wade rolls his eyes.)
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This is just typical for the Miami Heat - their first-round NBA Draft pick gets hurt in his first team practice.

The AP reports that Michael Beasley was only 45 minutes into his first drills as a member of the Heat, when the #2 overall pick was struck in the chest by an inadvertent elbow. Beasley was taken to a doctor for observation and did not return to practice.

Just what new Heat coach Erik Spoelstra needed. Read more…

To the surprise of pretty much no one, the 2008 NBA Draft began thusly:

1. Chicago Bulls - Derrick Rose, Memphis

2. Miami Heat - Michael Beasley, Kansas State

3. Minnesota Timberwolves - O.J. Mayo, USC

The only real suspense in the opening stages was who was going to go next after the big three. And the next two teams were Bruin-up some surprises. Read more…

If you visit BULLS.COM today, you’ll see quite the sexy little animation asking the musical question we’ve been dealing with as a weary nation since the Bulls’ balls busted through to the top spot: Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley? Rose is the hard-working point guard from Chicago. Beasley is the athletic beast from… not Chicago.

(Gotta draft ‘em all!)

After months of hearing just how great both young men are, though, we don’t think the Bulls should have to choose. Why not draft both? Riley’s planting whispers (honest or no) that he hates Beasley and thinks he’s a doo-doo head and he wouldn’t draft him if he were the last Coleman on Earth. He wants to trade the pick. Why not to the Bulls?

Read more…

• Move over, Jeff Reed & Vince Young - DEADSPIN finds another shirtless stud that likes to party with his top off: NBA old-timer Charles Oakley.

• The WINSTON SALEM (NC) JOURNAL tries to take the sting out of Kobe Bryant’s so-called shunning of the Charlotte Hornets.

• THE BIZ OF BASEBALL hungers at the news that the new Yankee Stadium will include a Hard Rock Cafe.

• MERRY ATHEIST wants to keep the deity off the diamond, as they don’t believe “God Bless America” should be sung at ballparks anymore.

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MONEY PLAYERS bounces along news from ESPN’s Andy Katz about Dalonte Hill’s new colossal contract. The Kansas State assistant basketball coach was instrumental in bringing Michael Beasley into the Wildcats’ program.

So, what was Hill’s reward for getting Michael to Manhattan? A hefty new 5-year contract - weighing about $420,000 a season. Read more…