• Are Alex Rodriguez and the little missus on the fast track to splitsville?

• The Kansas City Wizards sure know how to treat their female employees.

• What Dwyane Wade & Michael Beasley have is a failure to communicate.

• It’s dangerous to come between a man and his woman, but it’s even worse to come between a Razorback and his scooter.

• No one is safe from Joe Maddon’s “Devil Rays” dollar fine - not even John Challis, the Pennsylvania teen battling terminal cancer.

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A one-act play, wherein one day of the Miami Heat is encompassed in a slightly humorous and revealing manner and we reveal why Michael Beasley did not return Dwyane Wade’s call recently:

(C’mon, kids; we’re puttin’ on a play! Call Harry Morgan!)

Dwyane Wade: Thanks for Beez’s number, Coa… Pre… Pat. I’ll call him right away.

(Wade dials new Miami Heat teammate Michael Beasley; the phone rings.)

(Beasley tries to put down ice pack on his sore chest and reach for his cell phone. Unfortunately, his hands are slippery from picking up the ice pack and he drops the phone under his bed. The phone continues to ring.)

(Wade sighs at the still-ringing call when he gets another call. Caller ID shows it’s Charles Barkley. Wade rolls his eyes.)
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This is just typical for the Miami Heat - their first-round NBA Draft pick gets hurt in his first team practice.

The AP reports that Michael Beasley was only 45 minutes into his first drills as a member of the Heat, when the #2 overall pick was struck in the chest by an inadvertent elbow. Beasley was taken to a doctor for observation and did not return to practice.

Just what new Heat coach Erik Spoelstra needed. Read more…

• UNCOACHED knows very well that pimpin’ ain’t easy for Joe Morgan.

• WE ARE THE POSTMEN wants to know what Mike & Mike were doing at Wrigley Field Wednesday night.

• Darren Rovell of CNBC runs along news that even before joining an NBA team, O.J. Mayo has already signed with Nike.

• The Austrians can have their free beer. RUMOR & RANTS reports that Russian soccer players in Euro 2008 have been promised two girls for each goal they score.

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Folks, I’m just as baffled as you. A stand-up guy like Tim Hardaway wants to help coach his former team, the Miami Heat. And he’s having a devil of a time getting that callback interview.

Hardaway spoke to the PALM BEACH POST to express his frustration toward the situation: “for some reason, I don’t know why, I’m not able to be with them. … I don’t know what’s going on there” Read more…

Many NBA superstars like to use their financial fame to buy gifts for their families - houses, cars, meals at The Cheesecake Factory and other such goods. But how many players can say they’ve bought their mom a church?

Stefano Esposito of the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES gives praise to Dwyane Wade for helping his mother Jolinda open up a new house of the Lord on the Windy City’s South Side. Read more…

(For those of you playing along at home, this is exactly how “Nightline” got started. America Held Hostage and all that. There’s similarities. Don’t judge.)

New Video: Will Brinson of AOL FANHOUSE has the latest video of Dwyane Wade blushing (?) about his new “special friend with unspeakable privileges” on TNT last night as Charles Barkley rides Wade so hard about this that his Five becomes a Six.

New(ish) Photo: The AP has dug up a photo from the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, FL, last month. We… uhm, we’re sorry.

Old Tidbit: Did you know that Star Jones used to be an attorney? It’s true. Just ask her. Or stand around her for 45 seconds. She’ll tell you.

Old Tidbit #2: Did you know Dwyane Wade used to play basketball professionally? It’s true. Just ask him. Please. Please remind him he used to play basketball professionally. We miss that guy.

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News came down yesterday that the curmudgeonly Pat Riley would be leaving his post as Miami head coach. Lost in the shuffle was the naming of Erik Spoelstra as new head coach, making him the first Filipino-American head man in NBA history.

This monumental moment will surely be marked with an introductory press conference. In another FAKExclusive, SPORTSbyBROOKS attends Erik Spoelstra’s imaginary first press conference as head coach. Read more…