So this seems like a good way to start the day — a story about a former NBA first-round draft pick who rides around in a HumVee. Not too impressive, until you realize the vehicle is located in Iraq, and the former baller in question — Tim James — has been deployed there in the Army since July.

James was the Heat’s first pick in the 1999 draft (25th overall), and played for for Miami, Charlotte and Philadelphia before going overseas for fives seasons, playing in Japan, Turkey and Israel. His uncle, Sam McDonald, spent 22 years in the Marines, and he enlisted in Sept. of 2008. Once again, using your powers for good, not evil. That’s a +1. Read more…

TMZ has a post-rehab (Oct. 10) photo today of Michael Beasley and a “female companion”

(So where’s the purple Gatorade?)

Backstory? Let Miami Heat staffer Tim Donovan explain: Read more…

When Chris Quinn isn’t driving Vito Corleone to the local fruit stand for oranges, he’s a guard for the Miami Heat; and takes his team photo responsibilities very seriously. Fun fact: He attended Dublin Coffman High School in Dublin, Ohio; in the same class as Brady Quinn, although the two aren’t related (they also both went to Notre Dame). In fact, Chris might have snuffed out Brady’s football career before it even began, if fate had not stepped in. Read more…

It’s been quite a tumultuous month for Michael Beasley. The Miami Heat forward has spent most of it in rehab in Houston after sending out some strange messages on Twitter - and putting up a pic with what looks to be pot.

But it seems that Michael’s time in the safe house is coming to a conclusion. The MIAMI HERALD reports that Beasley could be checking out by this weekend, ready to rejoin his Heat teammates & get back to basketball matters when training camp starts on September 28.

So, is Mike fully rehabilitated?

Read more…

You might wonder why you see the occasional baseball fight during July or even August, but almost never in September. For a good reason why, ask Bill Lee. (Actually don’t, because you’ll probably get a two-hour lecture on pot. Or the evil of the DH. Or both.) Even though it happened in May of 1976, him separating his shoulder during a huge brawl between the Yankees and the Red Sox caused him to miss the majority of the season (and possibly ruined his career).

So the same reason last night’s fight between the Yankees and the Blue Jays was both so compelling and ridiculously stupid. Because they were throwing real punches - not just the usual preschool pushing of most big league fights - and big-name pitchers like Joba Chamberlain and C.C. Sabathia were right in the middle, just waiting for a Blue Jay with a grudge to rip up their multimillion dollar arms. A good rule of thumb: don’t get into fights with teams who are 13 games under .500 - they don’t really have much to lose. Read more…

• Michelle Wie has her own blog where she can showcase some of her off-course talents - such as art work and wearing leopard & leather outfits.

• No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills - mainly because they keep putting themselves in disastrous situations.

• A Nigerian soccer player tries to earn a roster spot by smuggling heroin.

• A furious female Canadian boxer decides to beat up some British soldiers because they were “being gay” on the dance floor.

• Successful sales of a 5,000-calorie burger fills minor league team’s coffers, clogs minor league fans’ arteries.

Read more…

In the classic novel Animal Farm, author George Orwell mockingly paints a satirical dystopian view of Communism. In particular, the book’s law that “all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” mocks the Communist ruling elites’ lip service to proletarianism and equality. Americans have long despised the idea that some people are inherently better than others and have championed the idea that America is a meritocracy in which anyone, of even the most humble means, can become successful and prosperous.

Of course, what civics class doesn’t teach you is that once someone has actually risen above their humble beginnings and achieved success…then the rules change. No more pesky equality for the powerful - those are ideas best reserved for the masses. Example One is the legal brief recently filed on behalf of wealthy, powerful Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade. Viva la revolucion!

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The longer this whole recession thing sticks around, the more it’s going to affect our delicious, precious sports. Teams are already wringing their hands about slow ticket sales and sponsorship problems. Surprisingly (SARCASM), the inflated ticket prices and payrolls that skyrocketed over the past 10-15 years might not be sustainable over the long haul.

(No need to hurry, really.)

One team in particular, the New Jersey Nets, is having a wee bit o’ trouble putting butts in the seats at inflated prices in a crappy arena to see a terrible basketball team. But they’ve…got….a…plan: Jersey giveaways! No big deal, even if you can’t name a single stiff on the team these days (other than Devin Harris), because they’re possibly the first team ever to give away opposing team’s jerseys.

Read more…

With all the discussion this summer about things like health care reform, cash-for-clunkers, and our country’s faltering economy, it might be easy to forget sometimes that the men and women of our armed forces have been fighting wars in two nasty, inhospitable countries far, far away for the better part of eight years now. As hard as people think it might be to give up salary for unpaid furloughs or other hardships Americans have had to endure lately, it pales in comparison to getting shipped halfway around the world to get shot at in 130-degree heat.

It’s hard to believe that someone would willingly choose that as a job, yet millions of heroic Americans who believe in their country and what it stands for voluntarily sign on to keep our nation safe from our enemies. It’s especially hard to believe that people would give up seemingly everything to do it, but that’s exactly what former Miami Heat first-round draft pick Tim James did.

Read more…

• Danica Patrick could be removing her racing suit to pose for an all-nude (yet tastefully done) pictorial for ESPN The Magazine.

(Well, it’s a start)

• And the Rick Pitino sex-tortion scandal gets more & more pitiful.

• This FIBA Americas basketball tournament is getting quite rough. If it isn’t Mexico & Uruguay throwing punches & chairs, it’s security hassling Charlie Villanueva & his mother.

• College football players could lose their hotel privileges - for home games. But keeping the kids out of the local Motel 6 could actually be a bad idea.

• Are fantasy sports bad for your relationships? Well, in Texas, it can certainly be bad for your health.

Read more…