Hey Kids! Get Your NFL Cheerleader Tradin’ Cards

If you’ve yet to open that new Topps Jumbo Pack of NFL trading cards you just purchased (OK, lets face it: Your parents purchased for you), you’ve got an extra surprise in store. No, the Ben Roethlisberger card does not come with a denial of wrongdoing. It’s something better.

There’s one NFL cheerleader card in every pack. Yeah, there’s such a thing as Topps NFL cheerleader cards. Thank you, Topps, for inventing this years too late. Of course, you’re going to have to forage like a crazed homeless person to collect all 15 cheerleaders — there are only one per pack. But thus is the genius of the plan, as far as Topps is concerned.

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Reggie & Kimmy K. Getting Back Together Again?

Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian are gonna give love another chance.

Reggie Bush Kim Kardashian

It’s gotta be the new hair!

• Those 38 wins by the Memphis Tigers two years ago? The NCAA declares that it never happened.

• That seems a bit harsh. Next thing you’ll tell me, giving cream cheese to athletes would be considered an NCAA violation.

Plaxico Burress pleads guilty to gun possession charge, will spend the next two seasons playing for the penal pigskin league.

• First Patrick Kane, and now Aqib Talib. Why do pro athletes hate cabbies so much?

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Miami Dolphins Celebrity Owner Club Gets Bigger

One of the most unusual side stories of the upcoming NFL season has been the spectacle that ownership of the Miami Dolphins has become. While it’s thought that Stephen Ross is still the majority owner, this summer has seen a spate of celebrities join into minority ownership.

Williams Sisters
(”Dolphins would look so good on these plates.”)

While we couldn’t have anticipated it at the time, Gloria Estefan’s decision to buy into the team (with husband Emilio Estefan - not to be confused with “Mr. Mighty Ducks” Emilio Estevez) was just a harbinger of bigger announcements to come. Soon afterward, the naming rights to the stadium were sold to another famous Miami resident, one Jimmy Buffett, and Marc Antony joined Estefan as owners shortly thereafter.

But if you’re foolish enough to scoff at that collection of names, scoff no longer, as the team is being joined by, legitimately, one of the top 20 brands in sports today.

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Week In Review: Pitino Pays $3,000 For Abortion

Rick Pitino’s reputation has taken a huge hit, as the Louisville b-ball coach impregnated the woman who’s been trying to extort him, then paid $3,000 for the abortion.

Rick Pitino Karen Sypher

And now Karen Sypher says her marriage to Cardinals equipment manager Tim was all just a sneaky plot by Pitino to keep an eye on her. But hey, don’t blame Rick - blame 9/11!

• The release party for the new Miami Dolphins cheerleaders bikini calendar was quite the spectacle.

Jay Mariotti denies that he’s going to be writing for the Chicago Tribune. Can’t wait to see Jay’s debut column in the Trib on September 1st!

Manny Ramirez gets a memorable reception from San Francisco Giants fans - the same kind of reception that Barry Bonds used to get everywhere else except in the Bay Area.

• Engaged Malibu fashion designer Ali Kay may have encouraged Reggie Miller’s unwanted advances by sending the ex-NBA star photos of herself in bed & in a bikini. At least Ali’s still pretty good at making clothes.

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Dolphins Cheerleaders Unveil New Bikini Calendar

• A hip-hop remix of the team’s fight song by T-Pain can’t ruin the joy of the release of a new Miami Dolphins cheerleader bikini calendar.

Miami Dolphins cheerleaders

• The NFL preseason is underway, and Sunday’s opener was pretty uneventful - save for the most perfectly executed fake punt you’ll likely see.

• Another Michigan Wolverine is off the team. It has to be RichRod’s fault, and not that failed cocaine deal-turned-dorm arson attempt.

• Ohio State LB Tyler Moeller is out for the season after suffering seizures this past weekend.

• The SEC is turning into MLB when it comes to new rules of broadcasting highlights & online media of its games.

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Dolphins Swimsuit Calendar Arrives With A Bang

So we’re starting to get a taste of what the new Stephen Ross/Jimmy Buffett administration is going to look like with the Miami Dolphins, and I can’t say it looks bad. Except for T-Pain arriving in a red hearse, that is. And the choice of venue.

While the Bills and Titans were kicking off the season in the Hall of Fame Game, the Dolphins were taking care of really important business — throwing a party to introduce the new Dolphins Cheerleaders Calendar. That included rapper T-Pain, who arrived in a hearse and then proceeded to unveil a new mix version of the team fight song. Meanwhile, outside, cops got angry and began yelling at his entourage. It’s going to be a fun season!

(More photos following the jump.)

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GB QB Going Out w/Gorgeous Grapefruit Heiress

• Meet Julie Henderson, SI swimsuit model & grapefruit heiress - oh, and the main squeeze of Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers.

Julie Henderson

• Raider Nation celebrates 50 years of existence, spiked shoulder pads.

• The Miami Dolphins keep having identity issues. First it was Vontae Davis’ false arrest, and now it’s Davone Bess bothered by a fake Twitterer.

Tony Hawk takes a quick skateboard trip through the White House, and FOX NEWS throws a fit.

• Nothing says “I Love You” quite like personalized bobbleheads - just ask Red Sox owner John Henry & his new wife.

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Dolphins WR Not LOLing At His Twitter Imposter

The Miami Dolphins seem to be having a personality crisis with their players - literally. Last week, first-round draft pick Vontae Davis had to deny reports that he had been arrested in Illinois - it turns out someone had stolen his wallet and used his ID when he was in school. Now, Davone Bess is dealing with his own imposter, as his agent tells FOX SPORTS that NFL security has been contacted over a fake Twitter account.

Davone Bess

Bess had a good rookie season for the Dolphins, but why anyone would choose to impersonate him is somewhat baffling. But that didn’t stop someone with the screen name “Lambo Weezy” from claiming to be Bess and making ridiculous claims - like challenging Titans RB Chris Johnson to a foot race, which would be nuts since Johnson might be the fastest player in the NFL and Bess went undrafted out of Hawaii after running the 40 in a subpar 4.8 at the NFL Combine.

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Chad Pennington Will Seduce You With Pastiness

Is there a cooler athlete on the planet than Chad Pennington? Check it out: here’s Chad pumping iron, and there’s Chad acknowledging your presence. “Haaayyyy …” Form an orderly line, ladies. It was all for a photo shoot for the July/August issue of SOBEFIT MAGAZINE, an excerpt of which is online now. Link to that, and a video of the shoot, below.

Chad Pennington

So it’s beyond me why athletes do these; perhaps the Dolphins’ quarterback wanted to outdo Mark Sanchez? Or maybe have some of that Tom Brady magic dust rub off on him? Or get him some sweet, sweet supermodel? The answers are shrouded in mystery.

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Well-Liked Iowa HS Football Coach Shot To Death

Ed Thomas, a popular Iowa high school football coach who saw many of his players make it to the NFL, was shot & killed in the school’s weight room this morning.

Ed Thomas Parkersburg HS football coach

• Road tripping, Wisconsin style: Driving home drunk in a golf cart.

• Break out the blindfolds - Oregon’s new football uniforms are here.

Terrell Owens gets cursed out by teammate Joanna Krupa for getting themselves eliminated on ABC’s “Superstars”.

• No “Moneyball” movie means no sex scenes between Billy Beane & an Outback Steakhouse waitress.

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