Yesterday seemed to be something of a relief for Miami speedster Ted Ginn Jr. After being benched for dropped passes and overall poor play at wideout, Ginn took two kicks back for touchdowns in the Dolphins’ 30-25 win over the Jets. So while Ginn still has aspects of the receiving game to work on, he’s still a valuable member of the team and lifelong Dolphins respect that too much to not unload on him, yes?

Well, actually, no. During the course of the week, a veritable Who’s Who of Dolphins greats were attending charity events, including hosts O.J. McDuffie and Bob Kuechenberg. The two, alongside such luminaries* as Jim Kiick and Mercury Morris, absolutely unloaded on Ginn, calling literally every aspect of his play into question. Kuechenberg, as he so often does, led the verbal assault.

Read more…

The joys of Twitter are many: immediate communication with friends and family. Following the highlights of your favorite celebrity’s day. Real-time updates on important current events. And my favorite, being privileged the unimpeded NFL player’s vernacular.

(What happens when they go 16-0? *shudder*)

For instance, here’s Miami Dolphin Channing Crowder as he waxes philosophic to the MIAMI HERALD about the team’s opponent this Sunday, the undefeated New Orleans Saints. Read more…

• The Dolphins held the ball for more than 30 minutes longer than the Colts, but it was Peyton Manning & Co. who left Land Shark Stadium with a 27-23 win on Monday night.

• It’s a Twitter trifecta: First, Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson takes “dim wit” Washington fans to task for booing at FedEx Field.

• Then Marcus Fitzgerald bitches on behalf of brother Larry about the lack of catches the Cardinals WR is getting.

• And Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema admits that one of his scouting techniques is following the Tweets of opposing players.

• A South Carolina man is sentenced to life in prison without parole for the vicious stabbing death of a high school cheerleader.

Read more…

Normally, you don’t see a broadcast booth spend a plurality of a football game raving about the “time of possession” statistic. Then again, normally, you don’t see a team win said battle by a full 30 minutes of game time, which is precisely what Miami did to Indianapolis last night. And then again, you don’t normally see a team control the ball for fewer than 15 minutes of the game… and win anyway.

(”Okay, so you just scored the go-ahead touchdown. Allow me to retort: BOOOO THUMBS DOWN TO YOU BOOOOOOO!”)

But lo and behold, thanks to the quickest of quick-strike offenses, the Colts did exactly that; thanks to touchdown drives of 1, 6, and 4 plays, Indianapolis prevailed in Miami, 27-23. Indeed, the Colts’ longest drive of the night was a 9-play drive that led to a 2nd quarter field goal; on the other side of the field, the Fins had exactly one shorter drive: an 8-play, 25-yard drive that ended in a punt. After that, literally every drive of theirs was 9 plays or longer. That’s the longest shortest drive since [ERROR WE ARE NOT ELIAS SPORTS BUREAU CLIENTS ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?].

Ah, but without turnovers, time of possession is effectively meaningless. Read more…

If you’ve yet to open that new Topps Jumbo Pack of NFL trading cards you just purchased (OK, lets face it: Your parents purchased for you), you’ve got an extra surprise in store. No, the Ben Roethlisberger card does not come with a denial of wrongdoing. It’s something better.

There’s one NFL cheerleader card in every pack. Yeah, there’s such a thing as Topps NFL cheerleader cards. Thank you, Topps, for inventing this years too late. Of course, you’re going to have to forage like a crazed homeless person to collect all 15 cheerleaders — there are only one per pack. But thus is the genius of the plan, as far as Topps is concerned.

Read more…

• Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian are gonna give love another chance.

It’s gotta be the new hair!

• Those 38 wins by the Memphis Tigers two years ago? The NCAA declares that it never happened.

• That seems a bit harsh. Next thing you’ll tell me, giving cream cheese to athletes would be considered an NCAA violation.

• Plaxico Burress pleads guilty to gun possession charge, will spend the next two seasons playing for the penal pigskin league.

• First Patrick Kane, and now Aqib Talib. Why do pro athletes hate cabbies so much?

Read more…

One of the most unusual side stories of the upcoming NFL season has been the spectacle that ownership of the Miami Dolphins has become. While it’s thought that Stephen Ross is still the majority owner, this summer has seen a spate of celebrities join into minority ownership.

(”Dolphins would look so good on these plates.”)

While we couldn’t have anticipated it at the time, Gloria Estefan’s decision to buy into the team (with husband Emilio Estefan - not to be confused with “Mr. Mighty Ducks” Emilio Estevez) was just a harbinger of bigger announcements to come. Soon afterward, the naming rights to the stadium were sold to another famous Miami resident, one Jimmy Buffett, and Marc Antony joined Estefan as owners shortly thereafter.

But if you’re foolish enough to scoff at that collection of names, scoff no longer, as the team is being joined by, legitimately, one of the top 20 brands in sports today.

Read more…

• Rick Pitino’s reputation has taken a huge hit, as the Louisville b-ball coach impregnated the woman who’s been trying to extort him, then paid $3,000 for the abortion.

And now Karen Sypher says her marriage to Cardinals equipment manager Tim was all just a sneaky plot by Pitino to keep an eye on her. But hey, don’t blame Rick - blame 9/11!

• The release party for the new Miami Dolphins cheerleaders bikini calendar was quite the spectacle.

• Jay Mariotti denies that he’s going to be writing for the Chicago Tribune. Can’t wait to see Jay’s debut column in the Trib on September 1st!

• Manny Ramirez gets a memorable reception from San Francisco Giants fans - the same kind of reception that Barry Bonds used to get everywhere else except in the Bay Area.

• Engaged Malibu fashion designer Ali Kay may have encouraged Reggie Miller’s unwanted advances by sending the ex-NBA star photos of herself in bed & in a bikini. At least Ali’s still pretty good at making clothes.

Read more…

• A hip-hop remix of the team’s fight song by T-Pain can’t ruin the joy of the release of a new Miami Dolphins cheerleader bikini calendar.

• The NFL preseason is underway, and Sunday’s opener was pretty uneventful - save for the most perfectly executed fake punt you’ll likely see.

• Another Michigan Wolverine is off the team. It has to be RichRod’s fault, and not that failed cocaine deal-turned-dorm arson attempt.

• Ohio State LB Tyler Moeller is out for the season after suffering seizures this past weekend.

• The SEC is turning into MLB when it comes to new rules of broadcasting highlights & online media of its games.

Read more…

So we’re starting to get a taste of what the new Stephen Ross/Jimmy Buffett administration is going to look like with the Miami Dolphins, and I can’t say it looks bad. Except for T-Pain arriving in a red hearse, that is. And the choice of venue.

While the Bills and Titans were kicking off the season in the Hall of Fame Game, the Dolphins were taking care of really important business — throwing a party to introduce the new Dolphins Cheerleaders Calendar. That included rapper T-Pain, who arrived in a hearse and then proceeded to unveil a new mix version of the team fight song. Meanwhile, outside, cops got angry and began yelling at his entourage. It’s going to be a fun season!

(More photos following the jump.)

Read more…