Why has the Federal Government completely fallen flat in its attempt to cap the massive Gulf of Mexico oil spill? And how could such a thing happen in the first place? Mark Schleifstein of the NEW ORLEANS TIMES-PICAYUNE gives us plenty of clues, reporting this week on the findings of internal investigation of the Minerals Management Service released this week.

The MMS is the Federal agency that controls oversight of all U.S. natural resources in the Gulf of Mexico and accounts for $14 billion per year in revenues from Federal offshore mineral leases.

The MMS, which is part of the Department of Interior, was found to have employees “accepting gifts from oil companies” that included private jet travel, hunting and fishing trips, Christmas parties and “even free tickets to see Louisiana State University beat the University of Miami in the 2005 Peach Bowl in Atlanta.”

Numerous MMS workers were also cited for downloading and emailing porn on U.S. government computers while on the job and “illicit” drug use.

Mathew Daly of the ASSOCIATED PRESS:

In at least one case, an inspector for the Minerals Management Service admitted using crystal methamphetamine and said he might have been under the influence of the drug the next day at work, according to the report by the acting inspector general of the Interior Department.

The report adds to the climate of frustration and criticism facing the Obama administration in the monthlong oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, although it covers actions before the spill. Millions of gallons of oil are gushing into the Gulf, endangering wildlife and the livelihoods of fishermen, as scrutiny intensifies on a lax regulatory climate.

So what does that all have to do with the oil spill? Read more…

It’s basically impossible to sum up the Jeremy Mayfield meth saga in one paragraph, much less one sentence, but - in true Blogfrican fashion - we’re gonna do it anyway! Near as we can tell, it’s this: “NASCAR: Um, we have tests that say Mayfield is a meth user. Mayfield: Nuh uh! Nuh uh nuh uh nuh uh! NASCAR: Yeah, holy crap, yes you are. Mayfield: You suck and I hate you!”

(How can he be doing meth? I can see his teeth. All of them.)

Really, that’s as much as we can divine from this mess. Lengthy court battles, fake doctors, wild accusations - LeBron be damned, this has to be the soap opera of the year. And now it looks like NASCAR is tightening the screws on their case against Mayfield.

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• Soccer WAG Abbey Clancy really needs to find a swimsuit top that fits.

• Just a few weeks before his death in an alleged murder-suicide, Steve McNair had filmed a public service announcement about suicide prevention.

• An Aussie tennis player gets slapped with a fine & suspended for six months for shouting a racial slur at a South African opponent.

• The Mountain West & WAC hate the BCS, but don’t hate the BCS’ money.

• Has it really been 30 years since Disco Demolition Night more or less demolished Comiskey Park?

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You probably remember the saga of Jeremy Mayfield, his bizarre positive test for methamphetamines and the ensuing follies. As sublimely entertaining as it would be to put a tweaker behind the wheel of a car pushing 190 mph, it’s probably dangerous, and he was suspended despite repeated denials of drug use.

(He would later make a meth bong out of the trophy. Those exist, right?)

Perhaps a federal judge was swayed by Mayfield’s insistence that the positive test came from his Adderall prescription and other over-the-counter medication, or maybe he felt that an injunction was fair while the mess was sorted out, but either way, the courts temporarily lifted the suspension given to Mayfield as the lawsuits his team and NASCAR filed against each other were dealt with. Mayfield was free to race again, but was still subject to random drug testing by NASCAR. And that’s where the fun begins.

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This is just getting silly. Last we heard from suspended NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield, he was contesting his positive drug test with a two-pronged attack of sheer genius: on one flank he claimed NASCAR illegally tested his ‘B’ urine sample, and on the other his fraudulent doctor friend claimed that his testing positive for meth (NOT EVEN ONCE) was the result of a magical heretofore unheard-of interaction between Adderall and allergy medicine Claritin-D.

(Stupid.)

Needless to say, it hasn’t worked so far. His fake doctor was revealed earlier this month as a fraud, and now NASCAR has rather bluntly refuted his first claim as well by revealing his ‘A’ sample was all methed-up as well. Don’t worry, though - quick thinkin’ Jeremy hasn’t run out of excuses yet.

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Former Minnesota Golden Gopher basketball player Shane Schilling has had a rough time of it since he was kicked off the team before his junior year. In 2005, he managed to get hurt when he was hit by a car while trying to cross the freeway. Then in 2007, he was convicted of attempted robbery after punching a Minnesota student in the face on campus while fleeing the law on a car theft charge.

But that pales in comparison to what happened to him on Monday night. The MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE says that Schilling was arrested after keeping police at bay from his apartment for more than three hours during a meth-fueled stand-off. FROM THE BARN points out that Schilling is continuing his basketball legacy of not living up to expectations, although based on his previous history, a drug-crazed freak out really shouldn’t be considered that unexpected.

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After NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield tested positive on May 9 for a banned substance, there’s been a swirling undercurrent of rumor and whispers, all of which has been significantly spurred along by Mayfield’s repeated insistence that it was due to over-the-counter medication. Hell, he even sued to get back on the track, even while doctors have issued statements that have essentially said, “there is no way he’s telling the truth.”

(Trust me, this isn’t a Google Image search you ever, ever want to do.)

ESPN THE MAGAZINE has broken through the gag orders and redactions to find the drug for which Mayfield tested positive, and uh… this ain’t good, Jeremy. This ain’t good at all. According to two independent sources, the substance in question was methamphetamine. Daaamn.  Read more…

Minneapolis/St. Paul sports fans were rocked this weekend after longtime KFAN radio personality Jeff “Puffy” Dubay was arrested in a nearby suburb for possession of methamphetamine. He was picked up Wednesday night and released Friday morning without charges, but considering it’s freaking meth which is a freaking felony we’re talking about here, expect charges to be formally filed very soon.

Dubay’s co-host, Paul “P.A.” Allen, told readers of KFAN’s blog that he has “a million things I’d like to say/write about this current ordeal but cannot due to company policy/requests,” which is probably a hell of a lot harder to write than it is to read. On that note, don’t expect KFAN to spend any airtime on the subject, for obvious reasons, but don’t expect to hear “Doobers”–oh god, his nicknames are “Puffy” and “Doobers”? Are we sure he wasn’t picked up for weed?–on the air for a good long while, either.

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