Martina Navratilova New Spokesman For AARP

SAFE TO SAY BUD COLLINS IS PISSED OFF THIS MORNING: The WALL STREET JOURNAL reports “Martina Navratilova has agreed to an endorsement deal with the AARP to serve as its first Health & Fitness ambassador.

Martina Navratilova

AARP Chief Brand Officer Emilio Pardo said that Navratilova’s job will be to “share tips with AARP members in online chats, conduct Q&As and video segments on the group’s Web site, and speak at events.

Joe Piscopo

So Martina is the new spokesman the AARP? That’s gotta really sting for Janet Reno’s marketing agent. And we would’ve thought a deal with MWLLOL would’ve been next served up on her endorsment plate (ok, we promise to never link it again, but have you SEEN Joe Piscopo lately?).

Stephen A. Smith: Bloggers Should Not Be Allowed To Reach Large Audience

SMITH: BLOGS “SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED” BIG AUDIENCE: After entertaining us with some unintentional comedy gold late last week from Stephen A. Smith, Tom Hoffarth brings us an encore of Screamin’ A.’s personal theater of the absurd - by releasing more quotes from an apparently epic interview.

Stephen A. Smith

Smith first claims to Hoffarth that “internet writers” have no right to reach a large audience (we take it he’s actually serious): “And when you look at the internet business, what’s dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is …someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts.“The fun continues as Smith tells Hoffarth that bloggers have “sabotaged” the dinosaur print media: “The people who suffer are the common viewers out there and, more importantly, those in the industry who haven’t been fortunate to get a radio or television deal and only rely on the written word. And now they’ve been sabotaged. Not because of me. Or like me. But because of the industry or the world has allowed the average joe to resemble a professional without any credentials whatsoever.

Stephen A. Smith Quite Frankly

Smith’s well-reasoned comments about “sabotage” committed by bloggers perplex us. Why would the, as Smith calls them, “common viewers” turn away from the boundless wit and wisdom of men like Bill Conlin, Sam Smith and Dan Shaughnessy. Surely they entertain and engage more than MEN WHO LOOK LIKE OLD LESBIANS.

Dan Shaughnessy Sam Smith Bill Conlin Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

Or maybe not.Finally, Smith addresses the hurtful accusation that he once wrote a column for the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER on his Blackberry: “No, that’s total fabrication. I wrote my column on a Blackberry one time, at the (2004) NBA draft, I was on vacation (from the newspaper).

The gall of those heartless accusers! Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Smith!

Bruce Jenner Featured In Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

BRUCE JENNER THE FEATURED CELEB AT THE NEXT DINAH? In our never-ending search for sexual ambiguity in sports, we struck gold today: MEN WHO LOOK LIKE OLD LESBIANS. One of your featured entries, Olympic decathlon gold medalist Bruce Jenner:

Bruce Jenner

And upon searching far and wide, we scared up our own:

Lesbians Pat Summitt Lou Holtz Billie Jean King

OK, we’ll keep looking. (via BOTSWANA MEAT COMMISSION)