Welcome to the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game, otherwise known as The Last Chance to Make Back the Money You Lost on Your Brackets. Brooks has descended on San Antonio for the pinnacle of amateur sports, the podium for the purity of the human spirit, the reward for young men’s desire to succeed for the pride of their scho…

… no, but seriously, Brooks is at the Alamodome tonight for the game. We’ll be getting live reports from him all night. You can see his weekend report at FOXSPORTS.COM.

I will be your master of ceremonial snarkery, Tuffy. I’m drinking beer from Wisconsin tonight, so expect the repartee to be plodding and painful but fundamentally sound.
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From Brooks at the half:

“We wonder if our efforts tonight will net us the annual Stephen A. Smith Blackberry blogger of the year award.

We’re really trying to figure out why they built the Alamodome. Besides arena football and one Final Four every 8 years, what was the point?

It’s a non-descript building that has no personality. We checked out the worst seats for the game earlier today and the view is absolutely insane. We hear they actually reside in Antiguan airspace.

We can certainly see why the Spurs wanted out.

As for the cheerleaders, we’re too far away to make a definitive judgment on who has a better squad. From afar, both sets of girls are smokin’. We don’t want to get too close, then you start to see the imperfections and it ruins the fantasy.

Halftime!”

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Welcome to the First Annual Sports by Brooks Final Four Liveblog Marathon and Fish Fry! I’ll be your Fry Guy, Tuffy. Please take a plate, move through the buffet line, and have a seat where you’re comfortable. I’ll be by later to take your drink orders, though we only have orange drink.

Brooks himself, the owner of this here establishment, is on site at the game in San Antonio. We’ll be receiving updates from him during the contests tonight. For example, you can see here that the Final Four is apparently being held at Tomorrowland.

(Look, Ma! A flying machine!)

I will be stationed in the Tuffy Bunker with enough pale ale to knock even Manu Ginobli down. You know how tough that can be.
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Baseball gives itself a lot of credit for pioneering integration, even though favoritism of white players continued well after Jackie Robinson’s big league debut in 1947, and other teams had grudgingly integrated their teams to keep up.

Their latest effort of patting themselves on the back, the so-called Civil Rights Game played yesterday in Memphis, was so self-congratulatory that someone could have torn a rotator cuff.

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Here is an exclusive sneak peek at the entirety of Bill Self’s pre-game speech to his Kansas Jayhawks before Sunday’s game against plucky Davidson in the Elite Eight:

“This guy! Him! Cover him. See how there’s no one else in frame on this picture? Bad! Cover him. Cover. Him. Don’t be fooled by ball fakes or cuts or even if your man has the ball. Everyone just surround this guy. This one! Here! It doesn’t matter if he changes his jersey number or puts on a fake mustache. Him! Do not leave him alone. Are we clear? Alright. Rock chalk COVER HIM.”

Unfortunately, Bo Self spaced on this part in his pre-game pep talk, allowing Wisconsin’s celebrated Pit of Despair Defense to be thwarted by the chocolate-covered miracle pill known as Stephen Curry in a 73-56 Davidson beatdown. Curry continued to stun opponents with 33 points in this contest. (By way of reference, Wisconsin held Michigan to 34 points on March 14th.)

Other games Friday:

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OLE MISS SWIPES SUPER 8 STUFF & MOTEL 6 MERCHANDISE: Better be careful when Ole Miss comes town. While the Rebels won’t likely steal a win, they will steal your pillows:

The JACKSON CLARION-LEDGER checks out news that 20 members of the Mississippi football team have been put on probation for stealing pillows and radios from team hotels.No wonder Ole Miss has been playing so soft all year. The Rebels’ down season will finally be put to rest on Friday, when they get smothered by Mississippi State.

AD Pete Boone said that since the items were paid back for by the players, there wouldn’t be NCAA violations. And the accused appear to be OK to play against the Bulldogs.

But this latest round-up means that at least 25% of the Rebel program has gotten into some sort of legal trouble this season.

When first hired, head coach Ed Orgeron declared he would put a fence around Memphis. Now the staff might want to put a fence around the practice field, just to keep their kids out of trouble - or have them get used to prison.