• Shawne Merriman & Tila Tequila have had quite the memorable week, haven’t they?

• Bengals QB Carson Palmer is worried that someone’s going to die in the NFL. Meanwhile, other Bengals QB Jordan Palmer has no worries about big brother’s USC squad beating the Buckeyes.

• Sounds like Danica Patrick will be racing over to NASCAR next year.

• Melanie Oudin had a great run at the US Open, although she could have done without the hotel eviction & her parents’ impending divorce.

• In the meantime, Novak Djokovic entertains the Flushing Meadows fans with his impression of John McEnroe - only to have the real deal come down & serve the Serb a lesson in an impromptu match.

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• Threesomes, nudity, threatening to have sex with others - this Shawne Merriman-Tila Tequila story just keeps getting better & better!

• But sleeping around isn’t always so much fun - especially when it’s leading to the divorce of Melanie Oudin’s parents.

• The Dallas Cowboys are the hottest ticket in the NFL this year. It’s so hot, it’ll burn a $800-per-game hole in your wallet.

• Bode Miller wants to start his very own winery. Bottoms up!

• Ex-NFL lineman Orlando Brown breaks into his ex-wife’s house & trashes the place - but not before leaving a little present in her toilet.

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Melanie Oudin has become the talk of tennis due to her surprising success at the US Open. But unfortunately, Melanie’s magical run came to an end Wednesday night with a straight-set loss to Caroline Wozniacki. Still, congrats are in order for the 17-year-old for creating such a fascinating story at Flushing Meadows this year.

(The Oudins [L-R]: Melanie, dad John, mom Leslie, sis Katherine)

Now Melanie’s about to learn a valuable lesson when it comes to achieving newly found fame: Everybody wants to know everything about you, no matter how private you’d prefer to keep it. As such, Oudin’s sweet story has turned a bit sour with news that her parents are divorcing - over accusations that Melanie’s mom had an affair with Melanie’s coach.

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• Novak Djokovic delights the Monday night US Open crowd with his manic impression of John McEnroe - only to have Mac come down & reclaim his honor in an impromptu tennis match.

• A Kansas community is burned by the cold-hearted hazing of a high school football player slathered in Icy Hot.

• Kentucky fans are fuming at John Calipari because their coach dared send a Wildcats jersey to President Obama.

• A whole lotta football kicked off this weekend - even the lingerie variety.

• Ex-Notre Dame QB Blair Kiel is arrested after going on a drunken warpath at an Indianapolis Indians minor league game.

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One of the more entertaining surprises of this year’s US Open - apart from Novak Djokovic impersonating John McEnroe & Johnny Mac’s response - has been Melanie Oudin, the 17-year-old from Marietta, Georgia, who’s made a memorable run to the quarterfinals, knocking off such bigger names as Maria Sharapova & Elena Dementieva.

(Melanie hits the NYC streets, looking for a room for the night)

And the city of New York has embraced this teen tennis sensation as she continues her improbable streak. Well, everyone except the Marriott Hotel in Times Square.

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If there’s one gripe to have about the US Open, it’s that the timing is less than optimal, seeing as how today is Football Christmas. So nobody can blame you, then, if you missed the epic duel between Maria Sharapova and American teenager Melanie Oudin.

It was everything the crowd could have asked for: a high-profile (even if only seeded #29) star taking on a plucky, aggressive American underdog. Who just so happens to be attractive (NOTE: she’s only 17, so try not to rub one out to her yet). Oudin went toe-to-toe with the Russian and came out a winner, taking the match at 3-6, 6-4, 7-5.

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