NFL Putting Beer-Bonging Jerkwad Fans On Notice

Now that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has solved the crime problem among players and coaches, he’s turning his attention to the fans. Which means that the “No Fun League” tag will extend beyond the playing field all the way to the parking lot.

James Harrison bodyslams drunk fan

According to USA TODAY, In addition to cracking down on debaucherous tailgaters, the NFL will also be less tolerant of general jerky fan behavior:

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Tucker Points Out Patriots Practiced Players On IR

NFL-veteran-turned-SI-columnist Ross Tucker reiterated that Patriots coach Bill Belichick had practiced players on injured reserve, which would have violated league rules.

Bill Belichick cheaties

He stuck with his recent SI story during an appearance on ESPN’s NFL LIVE that he had seen the practice firsthand when he played with the Patriots in 2005. Read more…

Matt Walsh Steps Forward, Reveals…Nothing New

So that Matt Walsh - Roger Goodell meeting that we’ve all been waiting to happen? Yesterday, it finally did.

Matt Walsh Spygate Patriots

Among the new revelations were…nothing, really.

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Sir Charles A Sucker For TNT Teleprompter Pranks

We’ll be getting the new Eagles cheerleaders’ bikini calendar - but only because we, too, care so deeply about preserving our Mother Earth.

• Stay Classy, Atlanta! Charles Barkley makes Ron Burgundy proud.

Ron Burgundy Charles Barkley

Derek Jeter makes his own mark on Maxim’s Hot 100.

Chris Henry is really a good guy - if you ignore the ankle monitor.

Charlie Weis suggests where Michigan can hold their next practice.

• Say, was Cedric Benson out boating with Whoopi Goldberg?

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Patriots ‘Spy’ Tapes Finally Turned Over by Walsh

In sports news that reminds us fondly of the 1980s, the naughty tapes have finally arrived that we ordered months ago and we’ve already started leaking with excitement.

Matt Walsh, itinerant golf pro and former employee-of-some-sort for the New England Patriots, delivered eight tapes to the NFL that reveal… well, try to hold yourself back… play-calling recorded by the team and deftly edited with the game action. You know, just like happened before. Somehow, detailed descriptions of these tapes ended up in the NEW YORK TIMES’ lap.

JFK - Kevin Costner and Donald Sutherland

(”But how did the blogger get up on the grassy knoll? It’s outside. Bloggers don’t go outside!”)

Then, somehow yet again, Walsh’s lawyer found time to answer the TIMES’ questions about the matter and explained that there was no St. Louis Rams walkthrough tape from the 2002 Super Bowl and that Walsh never told the BOSTON HERALD about that. (Just when we thought that Rams fan lawsuit had legs.)

Then, in yet another shocking yet well-timed turn of events, NFL spokesperson Greg Aiello told the AP that “… this is consistent with what the Patriots had admitted they had been doing, consistent with what we already knew.”

Nothing to see here, kids! It’s all solved! The adults already talked about this and it’s taken care of. Go on back to your video games and your rock and roll.

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Watch Where You Sit When Matt Walsh Is Around

Watch where you sit around Matt Walsh. The BOSTON GLOBE unearths a saddlesore story from the college days of the ex-Pats employee turned videotape informant.

Matt Walsh blender

In 1995, Walsh was a student at Springfield College, where he was also a member of the school’s golf team. However, his collegiate career was cut short when he was accused of slicing his roommate’s girlfriend - with a booby-trapped blender blade: Read more…

Belichick, Pats VP Respond To Walsh Allegations

The BOSTON GLOBE reports that Bill Belichick and Pats official Scott Pioli decided to do a little character assassination on Matt Walsh.

Belichick stealing signs

New England’s coach and player personnel VP both spoke out in regards to the whole “Spygate” affair - especially after former team employee Walsh helped blow the lid off past illegal videotaping of opponents by the Patriots. Read more…

Matt Walsh Still Unwilling to Spill Beans on Pats

Former New England Patriots employee Matt Walsh, who is bidding to become the most famous video assistant of all time, is ready to talk about the team’s illegal videotaping practices with the NFL.

Belichick cameraguys

But like a mob informant ready to turn state’s evidence, he won’t say anything until he gets immunity from the NFL, which according to ESPN, hasn’t happened yetRead more…

Spygate Central Figure Enjoys Golf, Bobsledding

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS caught up with Matt Walsh, the Patriots video guy who could, oh, bring a dynasty down. You’ll recall he works as a golf pro in Hawaii, site of today’s Pro Bowl. He looks like a really aggressive kind of guy. He means business. Yes?

Matt Walsh

OK, well, he probably knows a lot at least.

The AP interview was a bunch of short answers and sly grins. It’s a good piece, though, and worth your while

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NFL To Cover Walsh In Exchange For Dirt On Pats

Chris Mortensen reports today that “NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said Wednesday at the Pro Bowl that the NFL is willing to give former Patriots video assistant Matt Walsh legal indemnification for any information and materials he would provide to the league regarding his work with the Patriots.

New England Cheaters

In general legal terms, indemnity is a guarantee against any loss which another might suffer, often financially.

More specifically, the NFL will cover financial losses incurred by Walsh if he’s sued by the Patriots for providing information about the club that was covered in confidentiality agreement he signed with the Pats. Read more…