Texans Fumble Away Chance At Upsetting Colts

Matt Schaub might have been the one who missed today’s game for the Houston Texans against the Indianapolis Colts, but by the end of the game it was probably his replacement Sage Rosenfels who felt even more sick. Thanks to his three turnovers late in the fourth quarter, the Colts were able to come back from a 17-point deficit in the final 4:04 and take down the Texans 31-27.

Sage Rosenfels

The Texans’ come from ahead loss was the big news, but the early games on Sunday were filled with shocking results across the board. When Atlanta can go on the road and beats Green Bay despite a gutty performance by Aaron Rodgers, and that’s a bit of an afterthought, that tells you just how nutty the early games were in Week 5.

Read more…

Michael Vick’s Personal Mementos Bought For $10

While spending his days in prison in Leavenworth, Kansas, Michael Vick’s day to day life is probably pretty boring. He wakes up in the morning, eats, works out for an hour or so, does some work, and then goes back to bed. He also probably spends a lot of time trying not to get shanked.

While he’s inside a prison, life outside the prison walls carries on. The Atlanta Falcons are off to a 2-1 start behind their new quarterback Matt Ryan, and people are buying all of his old stuff at ridiculous prices. One man in particular got an entire storage locker full of Vick’s stuff for a whole ten dollars.

Read more…

Lawyer Milloy Celebrates Falcons Loss With DUI

While things went very well for the Atlanta Falcons in the first week of the NFL season, they learned yesterday that things change quite a bit when you’re not playing the Detroit Lions.   A week after quarterback Matt Ryan had an impressive NFL debut and Michael Turner ran all over, the Falcons were handed a big dose of reality with a 24-9 loss by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers yesterday.   The devastation was enough to lead at least one Falcon to drinking.

Lawyer Milloy was arrested early this morning for speeding and driving under the influence.

Read more…

Corey Hart’s Daughter A Bit Young For Beer Bath

Ryleigh Hart is a bit young to be taking a beer bath from the Brewers.

Corey Hart protecting daughter from beer bath

• The Atlanta community theater is proud to present “Oklahoma!”, starring Falcons draft picks Matt Ryan & Sam Baker.

• A male synchronized swimmer is angry that he won’t get to join the ladies at the Olympics.

• Meanwhile, another Olympic swimmer isn’t going to let testicular cancer stop him from going to Beijing.

• About time we had another minor league managerial meltdown.

Read more…

Matt Ryan Doesn’t Enjoy Greasepaint So Much

In an effort to show that Falcons first-round picks Sam Baker and Matt Ryan are already an integral part of the Atlanta community, someone had the bright idea to insert both gentlemen into local culture. Outside making appearances at Hawks games (which seems silly, since that’s not what Atlanta residents do), someone also stuck them on stage for an “Oklahoma!” rehearsal.

(“Oklahoma!” is in town as of late last month. We keep track of these things as a public service to you, the reader.) As KISSING SUZY KOLBER points out, they look more out of place than Brett Favre in a Falcon uni. (Oops, sorry.) KSK also asks what the hell we’re supposed to get out of seeing these two men stuck in “Oklahoma!”. We know the answer.
Read more…

Wonderlic Scores Leak; Vince Still Not Vindicated

For the first time since everyone jumped on Vince Young for his supposedly, laughably low Wonderlic test score (6), Dan Pompeii of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE names more names, and the test scores that accompany them.

Keith Rivers Wonderlic Fiend

No surprise that possible first overall pick, BC QB Matt Ryan, scored an impressive 32. Most Michigan fans won’t be shocked to find out that former Wolverines QB Chad Henne scored significantly lower: 22.

But a USC Trojan took home the booby prize for lowest score posted by Pompeii in his piece.

Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: Burn, Duke Blue Devils, Burn Baby!

  • Critical Fantatic of FAN IQ (not pictured, I hope) breaks down the West Virginia win over Duke yesterday. No Sweet Sixteen for you!

Burning couch

  • How much is everyone enjoying the Duke loss? DEADSPIN shows us that one message board has temporarily shut down.

Read more…

Boston At The Center Of The Sports World

BOSTON TEAMS WICKED HOT IN RULING THE SPORTS ROOST: There must be something in the chowder.

Clam Chowder Red Sox

Many fans have the whites of their eyes set on Beacon Hill, as the Boston area currently rules the sports roost.First, you have Tom Brady seducing supermodels while leading the New England Patriots to a perfect NFL record. And the Red Sox are looking like a lock to clinch their 2nd World Series in four years.

Matt Ryan Boston College

Now the boys from Chestnut Hill are serving their notice in college football. Boston College remained undefeated with a Thursday night shocker over Virginia Tech, thanks to another #12 at QB.And if Ohio State slips up in Happy Valley on Saturday, the Eagles could see themselves at #1 come Monday.

Jonathan Papelbon Red Sox mic karaoke

PART MULE recently kicked out these photos of the Sawx rockin’ out after winning the ALCS. In a few more days, they could have the drinks flowing again. And don’t forget to give a toast to Randy Moss and Matt Ryan (unless he’s underage).