Leinart Finally Becomes A Man, Thanks To MMA

Being a backup quarterback for a small-market NFL team is somewhat of a thankless job, albeit a thankless job that pays millions of dollars. You practice just as hard as your more talented counterparts, but the only time you get in a game is when the outcome is already decided or someone better than you gets injured. Nobody really cares what brand of hot dogs you prefer, shoes you wear, or who you’re dating. There’s a reason they call it “buried” on the depth chart.

Matt Leinart Kurt Warner

(Mark Sanchez, beware - this could be your future!)

For Arizona Cardinals backup QB Matt Leinart, who signed $5 million worth of endorsement deals back in the days when people thought he might be good at football, that presents a problem. The former Next Big Thing is stuck in Phoenix carrying 75-year-old Kurt Warner’s jock, and it seems he’s finally realized that the way to get back in the spotlight is to toughen up and stop being a “pretty boy”. His new training regimen? Getting his ass kicked by mixed martial arts fighters.

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Matt Cassel Would Like To Thank Bernard Pollard

Last season turned out to be a pretty magical one for Matt Cassel. He went from being a career backup to guys like Matt Leinart while at USC and Tom Brady while playing for the Patriots, to the starting quarterback in New England, finishing 11-5 and just missing the playoffs. He was then rewarded for being competent by getting franchised by the Patriots to the tune of $14.65 million to back up Brady again next season.

Then Matt was traded over the weekend to the Kansas City Chiefs, which is pretty ironic when you think about it  After all, the only reason Cassel got a chance to play in 2008 was because the Chiefs’ Bernard Pollard took out Tom Brady’s knee in Week One, ending the Golden Boy’s season. So now that Cassel and Pollard are teammates, Matt knows what he has to do.

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12-Year-Old QB Sills Is Ready For College Offers

Steve Clarkson is known as a quarterback king maker. He started the hype machine that led to Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen being called “one of the greatest high school recruits ever”. He helped launch the careers of Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Leinart, J.P. Losman (maybe not such an endorsement) and Gino Toretta. Now he’s in the early stages of launching a primo career for David Sills, a Delaware native who just so happens to be 12 years old.

david sills 12 year old quarterback

(Meet the future of the quarterback position, aged 12.)

That’s right folks, a 12 year-old is running through passing drills and prepping himself for college recruitment. He reportedly received a questionnaire from UCLA a year ago, and he’s not alone. According to this piece from CBSSPORTSLINE, Clarkson is tutoring no fewer than four middle school quarterbacks across the country, teaching them advanced formations and schematics as if they were seniors in high school.

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Speed Read: Man, The NFC West Is Really Awful

The last time we say the Cardinals take on the 49ers on Monday Night Football was Opening Night of last season, and the result was a 20-17 loss that set the tone for a disappointing 2007 season for Arizona. Flash forward one year and change, and the Cardinals were able to take out the 49ers 29-24 on the strength of a last second goal line stand.

Arizona Cardinals OL Deuce Lutui

Quite a difference one season can make, right? Instead of Matt Leinart looking confused under center, you had Kurt Warner, looking for all the world like an MVP. And at the end of the day, Arizona is 6-3, and a full four games ahead of their nearest NFC West rivals.

Allen Rossum

But really, if you are a Cardinals fan, do you feel any better about the team after last night’s game than you did before? To quote an ex-coach, the 49ers were who we thought they were: a mediocre team with nothing to lose. Great teams put teams like that away early. Good teams let them hang around until the 4th quarter before pulling away. The Cardinals rely on a stop as time expires at the goal line after a questionable “down by contact” ruling.

Perhaps this says less about the Cardinals than it does about the overall awful nature of the NFC West?

In other sports news that happened while you were looking to unload your extra Inauguration tickets:

TJ Downing

What will the end result be of the Arizona Cardinals’ season?

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Young Refused To Play Right Before He Got Hurt

Three quarterbacks were taken in the first round of the 2006 draft: Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler. Of the three, Leinart has taken the brunt of the criticism during their two-plus years in the league (and that happens when you can’t beat out an old man for a job), but Young’s not far behind.

Vince Young

The former Texas star is still basically a glorified runner who occasionally throws the ball — not with much accuracy, I might add — and who also battles the occasional temper tantrum. And yesterday’s game against the Jaguars perfectly encapsulated all those lovable qualities. Young took himself out of the game, apparently refused to go back in, and when he did, he was promptly injured. God works in mysterious ways, indeed:

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Jeff Gordon Very Happy With Model Wife & Mom

Be back at 8 p.m. ET for Tuffy’s live blog of tonight’s Tennessee-UCLA tussle.

Jeff Gordon believes wife Ingrid Vandebosch is quite the model mother.

Jeff Gordon Ingrid Vandenbosch

Roger Clemens’ kid Koby gets cuffed after brawling at a bar.

O.J. Simpson pal Tom Riccio bets he can rent out ad space on the limo he’ll be taking to the Las Vegas courthouse.

Matt Leinart doesn’t like being Kurt Warner’s backup.

Peter King isn’t pleased with new “Inside the NFL” co-host Warren Sapp badmouthing the previous Sapp-less seasons of the show.

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Matt Leinart Is Very Sad About Being A Backup QB

In news that came as a surprise to, well, Matt Leinart and that’s about it, Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt has named wily veteran Kurt Warner the starting quarterback.

Nick Lachey, Matt Leinart

This is the latest disappointment for Leinart, the team’s 2006 first-round pick, and apparently, he’s very, very sad about it all.

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Usain Bolt Faster Than What’s Humanly Possible?

Remember those “My Fast” commercials that Nike debuted a couple of months back? In Usain Bolt’s case, his fast is not only faster than your fast, or anyone else’s fast in the world, it’s in fact faster than mathematical models predicting the progress of humans in terms of speed. WIRED reports that the mathematical formula used to predict the progression of the 100-meter world record has been extremely accurate - until Bolt came along.

Projection of the 100 meter world record

Bolt’s dramatic lowering of the world record time has led scientists and mathematicians to recalculate just what they think the human body is capable of doing.

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Brog: Parents Buying Athlete Seed For Offspring?!

Tuesday ESPN’s “E:60″ will examine the lengths some people will go to have more athletic kids.

Jose Canseco as a baby

ESPN: “E:60 correspondent Tom Farrey exclusively reports the story about the ultimate effort to buy athletic advantage – the purchase of sperm from anonymous donors who are college athletes. He visits the world’s largest sperm bank, California Cryobank in Los Angeles, where the seed of Division I football, basketball and baseball players sells fast. Farrey also speaks with families who purchased the sperm of a former tight end, and he addresses the question: How do expectations change when parents know their child is born with the DNA of an elite athlete?”

So what type of down-and-outer person, athlete or no, is selling their sperm?

Jose Canseco sticks out tongue

Exactly.

Farrey also has a book out on the subject, and appeared today on KSPN-AM’s “Mason & Ireland” show in Los Angeles today to talk about the ESPN piece.

John Ireland to Farrey: “How many people are breeding kids specifically to be athletes?”

Farrey: “I’m not sure they’re breeding to create elite athletes. They’re folks who are lesbians or same sex couples or mothers who never found mister right or it’s a heterosexual couple who can’t have kids on their own. So, they go to the sperm bank and they go through the catalog. And inevitably, when you’re like, ‘OK, what are we going to pick?’ … you end up picking the stuff you prioritize and you value and there are a lot of people out there who want their kids to have athletic traits.”

The main ethical question when it comes to this game of offspring roulette is if prospective parents should be allowed to know the identity of the sperm donator. So long as they don’t, I don’t see anything wrong with knowing the occupation and/or athletic history of the contributor. Problem is, if someone is donating sperm for money, what’s the odds that individual has a current occupation? (See Todd Marinovich.)

Yes, we’ve all heard over the years about Warren Sapp being a social cripple. Not to mention a man of questionable personal hygiene. So with that, I was delighted today at his selection to the latest lineup of “Dancing With The Stars”. Though I would love to see him plague survive the entire competition, that might be a little too much to ask, considering he’ll be dragging around a hazmat-suited partner.

Warren Sapp Dancing With The Stars

In all seriousness, one media source close to the Raiders told me today that Sapp has always been known for raging, 100-yard halitosis. In particular, one veteran defensive lineman for the Raiders used to bark out “Breath!” whenever Sapp walked into a room or on the team plane.

That eventually lead to the team’s primary rallying cry last season: “BREATH! BREATH! BREATH!

Sapp thought it was funny, but didn’t know the joke was on him and would bark it out too.

Coincidentally, when Marinovich was quarterbacking the club, the team’s rallying cry was, “METH! METH! METH!

OK, I made that last part up. Read more…

Are The Cardinals Sick Of Leinart’s Sucking?

Remember all that talk that this was the season that Matt Leinart was going to shed his party boy image and get down to the business of being a franchise quarterback? You know, actually having a grasp of the offense as opposed to last season?

Matt Leinart is choking

Things haven’t been going well this training camp, and yesterday’s 3-12, 3 INT performance against the Raiders might have been the last straw: ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that the Cardinals are prepared to name Kurt Warner the starter for their regular season opener.

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