Michael Phelps has it pretty good. After singlemindedly training for the Olympics his entire life, he won, and won and won and won, and hoisted himself alongside the greatest Olympic athletes in history. And now he gets to make money.

The problem with all of this? It’s possible that Phelps is so clueless, there’s nothing really there to market. Or so says SLATE’S Troy Patterson:

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• THE BIG LEAD has the photo find of the year (ok, maybe not) of Kim Kardashian (bottom - of course - item):

• MISTER IRRELEVANT introduces us to the Washington Wizards’ “White Hole“ (no, it’s not Marion Berry’s nasal cavity).

• The NEW YORK POST has a sign the Yanks are about to move:

• WITH LEATHER reveals Roy Jones’ resistance at wearing a Ron Paul tattoo for his fight tonight against Felix Trinidad.

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