I’ve heard a lot of people complain that we shouldn’t cover sports the way gossip mags and sites cover entertainment. That we’re trolling the bottom of the barrel, appealing to the lowest common denominator. Thankfully though, we still have bastions to journalistic integrity to look up to. So today, I present you with a hard-hitting piece of investigative pseudo-sports journalism brought to you by the ASSOCIATED PRESS.

(Nah, his luck wasn’t that bad)

The AP blares that the Penn State student who plays the Nittany Lion mascot at PSU football games officially lost the lottery on Nov. 22. In other words, poor kid was busted for DUI. The report also notes that the Rose Bowl status for the regrettably named James Sheep “is in doubt.”

Well now that the news is coast to coast on the wire, I’d say Sheep’s chance of deplaning in Pasadena are officially zero. And the news will likey only get worse for Sheep. Read more…