Note to Martellus Bennett: This is not exactly how Spike Lee started out. While the concept of a “Black Olympics” — speed eating watermelon and fried chicken, among other stereotypical delicacies — may have looked funny on paper, the Dallas Cowboys’ tight end would do well to run his student films by a focus group before unleashing them on the public.
After a rather significant media backlash over Bennett’s YouTube masterpiece, the aspiring filmmaker and part-time NFL player has had to take to the airwaves for damage control. While defending his concept, he still managed to prop up the old “If I offended anyone, I’m sorry” bromide. Come on Marcellus, you’re better than that.
I’m generally against censorship, but someone needs to take away Martellus Bennett’s access to YouTube, and it must be done today. As our friends at YOU BEEN BLINDED pointed out, the concept of a Black Olympics — eating chicken and watermelon and drinking Kool-Aid as timed events — might have been a funny concept if Dave Chappelle had done it. But in the hands of the Cowboys’ tight end, it’s … well, not good. Not good at all.
If you’re a fan of Bennett’s YouTube rap career, please seek help immediately. You are not well. Not only did he commit the ultimate sin — rhyming “Romo” with “homo” (a stunning lack of imagination there) — he also sang about women farting. Just how does this help move society forward again? And now this dubious idea, in which he enlists the help of his brother, Seahawks’ DE Michael Bennett. (Video below). Read more…
We’re not going to do the math on it, mainly because we slept through math class and don’t know what “multiplication” is (we think it sounds German, and that’s what the Nazis spoke!), but we can confidently say that many, if not most, athletes are on Twitter by now. Most of their feeds are boring because most athletes are boring - or want to project a boring image for PR purposes, anyway. So you get things like Brian Cardinal saying he’s full from eating. Wow.
(You think he looks just plain black. You are so very wrong.)
But then there’s Martellus Bennett, and if the name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s flat-out insane. He was the one that recorded that diss track to YouTube that earned a fine from the team, then started a surreal blog with the DALLAS MORNING NEWS that ruminated on women farting. He’s moved to the microblogging arena, it seems, as KISSING SUZY KOLBER just unearthed his account (that we failed to search Twitter on a daily basis for Marty B is a gross oversight, and we apologize). No fart jokes yet, that we can tell, but he has a curious explanation of his genetic background: Read more…
• Another day, another high school coach caught in a student sex scandal.
• North Carolina plants their Tar Heels firmly into Sparty’s backside.
• Phillies fans fight 15 feet away while World Series banner is being raised.
• The way the Detroit Lions have been lately, it wouldn’t be surprising to see them not make the first NFL Draft pick.
• You probably could have gotten a really good seat to the women’s NCAA basketball championship if you were so inclined.
Tags: Cole Hamels
, Dallas Cowboys
, Detroit Lions
, Gonzaga Bulldogs
, March Madness
, Martellus Bennett
, Michigan State Spartans
, New York Mets
, North Carolina Tar Heels
, Philadelphia Phillies
, Raenna Jewell
, Rocky Mountain Oysters
, Texas Longhorns
, The Iron Sheik
, Womens March Madness
You can always count on Martellus Bennett for some entertainment. The Dallas Cowboys tight end tried to make a go of it as a raucous rapper, but his dreams of mic magnificence were derailed after being fined $20,000 for rhyming “Romo” with “homo“. Now with a music career in momentary mothballs, Martellus has turned to the written word.
Bennett has a blog over at the DALLAS MORNING NEWS, where he muses about life, love, low-post routes, and whatever else he’s thinking about. And what is occupying Martellus’ mind at the moment? Women’s farts!