Whicker, Blount: Brothers In Alarm Both Pardoned

Today Oregon announced it was going to probably rescind its season-long suspension of right-cross-impaired LeGarrette Blount.

LeGarrette Blount Mark Whicker Brothers In Alarm

Based on Blount’s questionable behavior before the Boise State game ever occurred, I didn’t have a problem with Ducks Coach Chip Kelly ’suspending’ Blount for the season. I also think it’s reasonable to rescind the suspension if Blount has shown he can get his act together. (As soon as we found out Tony Dungy was involved, it was a safe bet dude would soon be back in Oregon’s regrettable gear.)

One thing I haven’t seen talked about much, which was mentioned today by Steve Hartman on Fox Sports Radio, was that if Blount’s punch hadn’t landed squarely or the camera hadn’t been so perfectly trained on the jaw-drop moment, Blount most likely wouldn’t have gotten the harsh punishment he received. Of course, that doesn’t excuse what Blount did to Byron Hout, or his outrageous reaction to crowd taunts.

Another interesting observation on Blount’s situation came from respected OREGONIAN columnist John Canzano. Canzano claimed on ESPN-TV earlier today that perhaps Kelly was bringing Blount back because the Ducks had resurrected their season. And that the coach might’ve yielded to pressure from Oregon boosters.

Problem with that though is Oregon has played its best football without Blount, and it’s likely that even if he returns to the team, he probably won’t be the Ducks’ top running back anymore. LaMichael James is averaging six yards per carry since Blount was blown out by his outburst, and he’s likely to continue getting the bulk of the carries,

While there’s been an orgy of media coverage about Blount’s possible return, another sports figure who also got trucked in a colossal case of bad public judgement quietly slipped back into his highest profile gig this week. Read more…

Week In Review: Shawne & Tila Get All Choked Up

Shawne Merriman & Tila Tequila have had quite the memorable week, haven’t they?

Shawne Merriman Tila Tequila

• Bengals QB Carson Palmer is worried that someone’s going to die in the NFL. Meanwhile, other Bengals QB Jordan Palmer has no worries about big brother’s USC squad beating the Buckeyes.

• Sounds like Danica Patrick will be racing over to NASCAR next year.

Melanie Oudin had a great run at the US Open, although she could have done without the hotel eviction & her parents’ impending divorce.

• In the meantime, Novak Djokovic entertains the Flushing Meadows fans with his impression of John McEnroe - only to have the real deal come down & serve the Serb a lesson in an impromptu match.

Read more…

Speed Read: Merriman-Tequila Saga Gets Weirder

If all you know is that Chargers’ linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested for choking buoyant reality diva Tila Tequila on Sunday, then you don’t know the elongated, PENTHOUSE FORUM version which just surfaced last night. This story gets quite a lot more naked, as it turns out.

Shawn Merriman, Tila Tequila

Because frankly all of this was boring me until I found out it included Merriman’s attempt to have a threesome; a drunk Tequila walking in on it; Tequila then threatening to have sex with one of Merriman’s friends; Tequila getting naked as she made this threat and attempting to run out of the house; Merriman choking her to keep her from leaving. Am I leaving anything out? Read more…

Mark Whicker Quite Unapologetic Before Apology

Mark Whicker of the ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER is in JOB-FIGHTING-LIFE mode after has Wednesday morning mail-in went off like the Unabomber authored it.

Mark Whicker Unapologetic before Apology

(I’m confused)

Wednesday night Whicker posted an apology for the piece on the Register’s website. Interestingly though, Whicker wasn’t so apologetic when he talked to Michael David Smith at AOL FANHOUSE earlier in the day about his Jaycee Dugard-included column.

Read more…

God Tells Allen Iverson He’s to Migrate to Memphis

• Why would Allen Iverson ever join the Grizzlies? Because God told him to.

Allen Iverson God

Andrea McNulty is willing to drop her sexual assault lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger - as long as Big Ben admits he did it.

• A foolish foursome tries to steal Cal Ripken Jr.’s “8″ statue from the front of Camden Yards.

• The Redskins are redfaced over the bad publicity of suing a 72-year-old woman over season tickets, so they opt not to take grandma’s 66 grand.

• Since when did Cole Hamels go the David Beckham metrosexual route?

Read more…

A Spectacular Mix Of Bad Taste And Sportswriting

In case you hadn’t been aware for whatever reason - nobody watching Nancy Grace in the house or anything - police recently found a woman who had been abducted as a little girl 18 years ago. Her name is Jaycee Dugard, and while in captivity, she was forced to give birth twice to two daughter who were also kept in isolated captivity. Suffice it to say that the 18 years she spent confined by suspected rapist/murderer Phillip Garrido have left deep, permanent scars on her life. Her family must be unbelievably overcome with joy to have her back, even as she deals with the nearly two decades of trauma on her life.

Jaycee Dugard
(A father finally reunited with his daughter. This calls for sports jokes!)

Fortunately, the ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER’s Mark Whicker - you’ll want to remember this name by the time you get to the end of the story, trust us - decided to appropriately honor Dugard’s return to the real world with a column today.

And by that, we mean he wrote a whimsical sports article about everything she missed called “Many odd things have happened in sports the past 18 years.” Yes, seriously. You’ll want to read on, because it only gets worse.

Read more…