And then burn it.
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(Rex Ryan has officially put his signature on the Jets)

Mark Sanchez was seen eating a hot dog (with mustard) on the sidelines during the Jets 38-0 rout at Oakland yesterday.

Video after the jump. (more…)

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(Sanchez proves Leinart could’ve co-oped coeds despite leaving SC)

Leinart was rewarded by losing the national title game to Vince Young (amid an SC defense Chock Full o’ Walk-ons.) Not to mention falling off the NFL Draft cliff, which cost him countless millions in guaranteed money.

(Mark to Matt: YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG)

Sanchez was faced with the same dilemma last Spring and took a different path, much to the delight of USC Coach Pete Carroll.

(Mark Sanchez’s girlfriend, Jennifer Mueller)

The NEW YORK POST this morning reports that Sanchez, in addition to leading the New York Jets to their best start since Wesley Walker was making rats miss in the Shea Stadium commissary, has snagged a scholarship sprinter at USC named Jennifer Mueller.

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Which meant only one thing: The ‘Canes were due to crash and burn last night on ESPN against Georgia Tech. After all, they would certainly be dealing with a team-wide outbreak of swollen heads after their “program changing” win against the Seminoles. Plus, they would have to deal with the Yellow Jackets’ screwy triple option offense, which is tough under any circumstances. All the signs were there for a total meltdown: in fact, it had to happen.

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(”No sir, I don’t like it.”)

That’s because he’s only guaranteed $38 million, and that figure’s likely a lot closer to the amount Rivers will actually get out of the contract than $93 million. Hey, it’s the nature of the game. Guys get released - or their contracts “restructured” - all the time. And Rivers was paid something approximating a fair market price, considering Eli Manning just got $107 million. But there’s one aspect of this that’s still troubling.

That’s the fact that Rivers, for the boatload of money he did receive, only got as much guaranteed money as if he’d been drafted 4th in 2009 instead of 2004.

Allow us to explain.

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(Can’t the Geek Squad come and pick it up and put a new one in next week?)

It’s strange that the Cowboys had everything about the new stadium approved by the league, but Colts President Bill Polian — who is on the league’s competition committee — is quoted by King as saying this:

“The irony is that our stadium architect [at new Lucas Oil Stadium] wanted to hang the videoboards the same way in our stadium,” Polian said. “So we put a metal beam about 90 feet above the ground and had our punter at the time, Hunter Smith, punt the ball up there trying to hit it. He hit it the majority of the time. That’s why we put our replay boards on the wall.”

Seriously, nobody from the NFL or the Colts, realizing that another team was building a new stadium, said anything to anyone else at the NFL or with the Cowboys about this possible issue? A guy on the competition committee didn’t see where the screens were going to be and say “uhhh, that’s not gonna work?” Or did Jerry Jones just not want to listen to anything because his punters don’t do silly things like kick the ball high and hard? Jones, for what it’s worth, installed the screens five feet higher than is required by the NFL. So why, if 90 feet wasn’t high enough for Indianapolis, does the NFL still only require 85 feet of clearance?

Cowboys punter Mat McBriar said yesterday that he plans on kicking to the sidelines, and isn’t worried about the boards. That’s great for Mat and all, but the problem is that you don’t want to get in a position of the screen being in play at all. It’s entirely possible that it could be hit two or three times in a row, and then you’re stuck with do-overs that exhaust players and open more opportunities for injuries.

The NEW YORK TIMES’ Richard Sandomir says that a screen like this is a completely new animal, and was specifically designed to hang at its current height. It is also designed to be able to be lowered, but not raised. One imagines that permanently raising it up would certainly be possible, but quite costly. And who foots the bill in that case? Jones (because it’s his stadium), or the NFL (because they approved it to begin with)? A Cowboys spokesman tells the DALLAS MORNING NEWS that the team doesn’t believe the height of the board will be a factor “in a competitive-game situation.” I guess they just think that A.J. Trapasso was screwing around when he plunked it.

But hey, I we’re just splitting hairs here. It’s a minor miracle that the thing still has a roof.

Don’t look now, but baseball’s 2007 darlings are well on their way to becoming baseball’s 2009 darlings. After a stunning walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the 14th inning from Ryan Spilborghs last night to crush the Giants 6-4, the Colorado Rockies are now four games up in the wild card race and just three games out of first place in the NL West heading into a huge showdown with the Dodgers at Coors.

The Giants looked poised to pull within two games of the Rox, scoring three times in the top of the 14th to take a seemingly insurmountable 4-1 lead. But then Merkin Valdez completely blew up in the bottom of the ninth, walking pitcher Adam Eaton with the bases loaded to make it 4-2, then serving up the game-ending meatball to Spilborghs two pitches later.

Let’s be honest, here. The Giants are extremely fortunate to be anywhere near a playoff spot. It’s a testament to guys like Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain that they’re able to overcome an offense that features Bengie Molina’s .280 on-base percentage batting fourth every night. They’ve always seemed a bat or two away from being a real threat, and Freddy Sanchez wasn’t exactly the answer.

The Rockies are cruising now, and could potentially tie the Dodgers if they could pull off a sweep. Things are certainly much different this time around. The last times the Dodgers visited Denver, they swept the series and the Rockies fired Clint Hurdle the next day. Since Jim Tracy took over, Colorado is 53-26 and has cut L.A.’s lead over them from 14 games to three.

If Colorado can split the six games left with the Giants in San Francisco, they have a very favorable schedule, including 10 straight home games in September against the D-backs, Mets, and Reds. Then they get six games with San Diego down the stretch. It all leads up to a three-game showdown at Dodger Stadium to end the regular season. The Giants have nine games with Arizona and six with the Dodgers, but also have to go on the road to Philadelphia and Milwaukee while Colorado is in the midst of its long homestand.

Crazy to think that the NL West has become the best race in baseball, considering how well the Dodgers were going earlier in the year. And yes, a lot of that lead was built without Manny in the lineup.

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• Yeah, that’s really this kid’s name:

His middle name is “Quincy,” and his entire name was devised by his grandmother, who filled out his birth certificate with his mother’s knowledge.

• Mark Sanchez threw his first career touchdown pass…to the Ravens’ Haloti Ngata.

• A 13-year-old, 383-lb. football player from St. Louis collapsed and died of a heart condition last week during practice. Anthony Troupe, Jr.’s father dropped dead at the age of 45 in 2007. The AP asks if all student athletes should be tested for heart problems. I think the more reasonable question is why a 13-year-old kid was allowed to reach 383 lbs. Not to judge the kid himself, but someone around him should’ve taken some initiative to ensure that he was healthy enough to play football, considering the fate his father suffered.

• Hey, guess who just signed a $93 million extension?

• This whole Phoenix Coyotes business is just getting silly at this point. Jim Balsillie is offering $212 million to move the team to a place where it will become immediately successful, and the NHL is maintaining that they’d rather see Jerry Reinsdorf’s group buy the team for $60 million less and keep playing in a half-full building.

• SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY says that CBS and NBC are having trouble selling advertising for the Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics, respectively.

• Your ridiculously violent Bolivian soccer incident of the week, courtesy of WHO ATE ALL THE PIES:

• Billy Wagner has shunned the Red Sox and will stay with the Mets, according to FOX SPORTS’ Ken Rosenthal. The Mets will get two draft picks for Wagner when he walks as a free agent following the season.

• …and, Johan Santana is probably going to miss the rest of the season. I’m surprised his arm just didn’t come flying off during his last start. Even Frenchy’s on the shelf now.

• Look, I know the WNBA isn’t very popular, but the NEW YORK TIMES might want to employ a copy editor the one time they actually put something about the league on the front page:

(I’m suddenly reminded of former Wisconsin player Duany Duany)

• Plaxico Burress went on ESPN last night and said that he didn’t even realize he shot himself until he saw blood dripping on his shoe. Well, that, and the really terrible pain coming from his leg. I guess he thought he just cramped up.

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(Even here, the Lions are on the bottom. Sad, really)

This is also good news to the 10.8 million digitally-based Comcast subscribers who will be able to watch the games without paying extra. Comcast and the NFL Network finally hammered out a nine-year contract agreement in May, including the agreement that the company would no longer relegate NFL Network to a digital sports tier that cost subscribers extra. Of course not everyone has Comcast, but that’s another post. Oh, more breaking news … (more…)

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• Tennis commentator Michael Stich comments that the female competitors at Wimbledon are only there to “sell sex“. Why would he think such a scandalous thought?

• Former WWF wrestler Brian Blair shows what Father’s Day means to him by beating up his two sons.

• Sean Avery gets a taste of his own sloppy seconds, in the form of Jets QB Mark Sanchez’s supposed girlfriend Hilary Rhoda.

• Popular Iowa high school football coach Ed Thomas is shot & killed by a former player - a former player who should have been in police custody at the time.

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• The Red Wings have released Chris Chelios, but that doesn’t mean the 47-year-old is ready to hang up his skates just yet.

• Sean Avery supposedly gets his own serving of sloppy seconds in the form of Mark Sanchez’s supermodel girlfriend Hilary Rhoda.

• Egypt’s soccer team denies being robbed by hookers, blames the media for distracting them to defeat.

• Brock Lesnar thanks God, not steroids, that he’s “built like a black man”, yet doesn’t care too much for President Obama.

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Well, as time passes and people grow, they can change.  Looking at somebody with Avery’s history it’s somewhat hard to believe he’s capable of changing, but he is.  Where as he used to be clearly opposed to the idea of sloppy seconds, now it seems he’s warming up to them. Though New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez isn’t likely to be thrilled by this news.

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