Mark Grace: Died At Fantasy Camp? That’s $2 Fine

Dan Bickley of the ARIZONA REPUBLIC with a gem of a column today. Lede:

Don Schulz died at Fantasy Camp, fined $2 by Mark Grace

The dawn of baseball season seemed so bright. The Diamondbacks had reunited with Gonzo (Luis Gonzalez), now a club employee. They had refitted with some deft moves from their general manager, adding the spice of promise to spring training. And then Donald Schulz, a converted Cubs fan, simply stole the moment.

He went out and died in fantasy camp.

“He was just a good old Chicago boy,” Diamondbacks broadcaster Mark Grace said. “And it just sucked.”

Save the tears. This is not a sad story.

Former IRS Agent Schulz was a 75-year-old widower who was already a wreck, reduced to non-participation because of heart problems that resulted in a pacemaker.

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We Can’t Print Mark Grace’s Candid Analysis

Journalistic integrity: we gots it. Sure, we have no qualms about posting pictures of women who are barely wearing enough to keep from getting arrested, nor do we give a flip whether a rumor’s true or not. No, check that–we’ll put a question mark at the end of it. “Yankees Outfielder Arrested For Sodomizing A Stolen Nissan Sentra?” See, it works. But there’s one thing we won’t do to our readers–make them read a swear word.

George Carlin
(This guy knew what I’m talking about.)

Former Cubs 1B and current TV announcer Mark Grace didn’t have that in mind when he was interviewed by the SOUTHTOWN STAR, a Chicago newspaper. You see, he used one of those grown-up, adult words. So in deference to you, the reader, we’ll post his comments, but censor the expletives by replacing them with another, more suitable word. Observe:

“They (FUDGED) it up, honestly,” said Grace, who is covering the World Series as an analyst for Fox.

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Blog-O-Rah-Rah: Cheerleaders Videotape Assault

• INTENTIONAL FOUL tosses up a group of cheerleaders taking the whole “Be Aggressive! B-E Aggressive!” thing a bit too far, as they beat up a teammate - and are stupid enough to videotape it.

Michael David Smith pens in the NEW YORK TIMES that another Purple Jesus won’t be ascending upon this year’s NFL Draft.

• THE DENVER POST throws out news that Mark Grace says he was only joking, but the Rockies aren’t laughing about the commentator’s comments that pitcher Manny Corpas didn’t have enough Vaseline on that ball.”

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