Shockey Gives Whole New Meaning To ‘Impaired’

For the first time since around Week 11 of the ‘87 NFL season, I would’ve loved to have heard Chris Berman’s schtick applied to Jeremy Shockey at the ESPYs last night:

Jeremy Shock laughing at ESPYs award

“B.A.C. B.A.C. B.A.C. B.A.C. B.A.C. B.A.C. B.A.C. … GONE!

Seat Filler sign at the ESPYs

(Shockey at “Seat Pourer” check-in)

Not exactly a shocker, considering this sort of red carpet impairment:

Jeremy Shockey with two girls at ESPYs

Believe it or not though, somebody was dealt a better hand. Read more…

Football With Marisa Miller: Pop, Snap, Crackle

I’d seen the pics of Tom Arnold committing misdemeanor sexual battery pulling down a commando Marisa Miller’s pants during a celebrity flag football game during Super Bowl week in Miami, but I hadn’t seen any large, closeup shots.

Marisa Miller Pants Pulled Down

(Real time analysis from a coaching legend)

Until now.

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SI Moving Swimsuit Issue Release Party To Vegas

Sorry, David Letterman - you’ve been trumped by Vegas. For the last two years, the “Late Show” host has been lucky enough to make the official announcement of which lovely lady would be gracing the cover of Sports Illustrated’s annual swimsuit issue. (For those who need a refresher, it was Marisa Miller in 2008 and Bar Refaeli in 2009.)

Marisa Miller Bar Refaeli SI swimsuit covers

Well, the suits over at SI decided that their big bikini-based announcement needed more pizazz than just Paul Shaffer on keyboards, so they’re taking their swimsuit show out west - to Vegas!

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SI To Push Models Into Nudity For Swimsuit Issue?

I haven’t seen many images from the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED Swimsuit Issue™ today, but I did watch a little of this SI-shot video of cover model Bar Refaeli, via TMZ:

Bar Refaeli Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model

(SI marketing geniuses to consider selling ‘uncensored’ swimsuit feature?) 

Over the years, SI has slowly forced the models into more revealing poses. First came models in thongs in the ’90s, and now we have full-blown implied nudity on virtually every page of the issue and SI.com.

Will Sports Illustrated eventually go to an uncensored (nude) version of the swimsuit feature on SI.com?

View Results

With the progression of Sports Illustrated’s racy content, that can only mean one thing. I fully expect that we will see nudity in future Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues™. Read more…

Revealed: SI Swimsuit To Feature Tennis Hotties

As we await the 2009 SI Swimsuit Issue, I’ve now confirmed at least two athletes who will be appearing in the issue: Russian tennis players 21-year-old Maria Kirilenko and and 20-year-old Tatiana Golovin.

Tatiana Golovin Maria Kirilenko Sports Illustrated

(Tatiana Golovin and Maria Kirilenko)

Both are credible players, with the oft-injured Golovin ranked as high as #12 this year, and Kirilenko #18. But neither has even sniffed a Grand Slam title. (Not that it matters of course.)

Maria Kirilenko Tatiana Golovin

(Kirilenko and Golovin)

Who is hotter?

View Results

Some advice for the girls for their SI shoots:

Marisa Miller Nude Photo

Pack light.

More photos of the two lovelies after the jump. Read more…

Wot Th’ Elle? SI Cover Model Now Weatherbeaten

Until Marisa Miller (OMG OMG OMG) came along, the SI swimsuit issue for me had turned into Saturday Night Live (oops! “SNL”). Outmoded and largely irrelevant. Because of the selection of models, be them celebrity or otherwise, I’d completely lost interest in what was once, for me, the most-anticipated magazine release of the year.

Elle MacPherson bikini photos at age 44

(*44 or not, would still hit it with Ichiro-like precision*)

Yeah, I’m fully aware that the SI swimmag is still the most-sold, slick paper-based issue in the world every year, and that I’m in the minority in my now-reaction to the mag when it hits the rack. Save it pal.

But I was weaned on full-bodied, classy SI cover birds like Elle MacPherson and Cheryl Tiegs. Which makes the latest pics of MacPherson a little jarring (I didn’t say disappointing, mind you).

More pics after the jump. Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: Braun Makes Ads with Marisa Miller

• WITH LEATHER brews up photos of Milwaukee all-star Ryan Braun shooting an ad with the marvelous Marisa Miller.

Marisa Miller Ryan Braun commercial shoot

Lucky dog.

• THE FIGHTINS’ punch up video of the Phillies’ Jamie Moyer running over an ump who doesn’t make a goood speed bump.

• The ARIZONA REPUBLIC gets the gold for the goofiest Olympic blog headline so far: “Gay texts mom: Kobe asked about my leg

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY isn’t so sure about Georgia’s chances for a BCS title, especially with Russian tanks roaming the countrysude.

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Blog Jam: Don’t Borrow A Steelers Fan’s Car

Brady’s Babe Bumped From Maxim’s Hot 100 List

Guess Tom Brady doesn’t have it so great, after all. The Pats QB lost his chance at perfection. ESPN has it in for him & his team. But worse of all - he’s not even dating one of the world’s 100 hottest women.

Gisele Bundchen

(That’s right, Gisele - hang your head in shame)

The BOSTON HERALD’S INSIDE TRACK uncovers the shameful news that Brady’s babe Gisele Bundchen didn’t make the cut for this year’s Maxim Hot 100. (So, that’s why Derek Jeter never hooked up with her.)

With this disappointing revelation, along with the ongoing Spygate stuff, could this week get any worse for poor ol’ Tom?

Well, if Gissie wasn’t jiggy wit’ Maxim, just who was? (With pics even!)

Read more…

Kendra Wilkinson’s Secret Baseball Past Revealed

GASLAMP BALL has notified Padres fans across this fine land that Kendra Wilkinson, who we understand is some kind of actress or model for periodicals, will throw out the first pitch for the San Diego National League franchise some time this year. Season ticket sales should rise just like Marisa Miller into Ryan Dempster’s arms.

Kendra Wilkinson

However, in our extensive and rather fatiguing research for this piece, we discovered a shocking truth about Kendra Wilkinson that we can only share with you in picture form. Please brace yourself before reading on. If you were surfing the Internet while standing up, sit down.
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