Hooker Claims Affair With Married Wayne Rooney

A Manchester-based prostitute alleged to London’s NEWS OF THE WORLD last Thursday that she had sex with married Manchester United star Wayne Rooney from June, 2009, to last November - when Rooney’s first child was born to wife Coleen.

Wayne Rooney

21-year-old Jenny Thompson claimed to the British tabloid that she first met the 24-year-old Rooney at a Manchester casino before eventually having sex with the Premier League player at a local hotel.

When Rooney asked Thompson to meet up with him after their initial contact, Thompson claimed to NOTW, “I said yes but told him it wouldn’t be for free. He texted back saying, ‘Fine, that’s not a problem.’ Then he asked if my friend would like to join us and she agreed.” Read more…

U.S. Soccer As NFL-Huge? There’s One Way. One.

With the World Cup upon us, the last couple of weeks I’ve been interviewed by some overseas sports media television and radio outlets about the state of soccer in America. From those visits, I can confirm that the Brits, Aussies and South Africans wonder, as we all do here, if soccer will ever take off in America.

English Premier League Expansion Into America?

My response to that question in those recent interviews, as it has been the past decade, has always been the same on the subject.

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Speed Read: An Evening Of Florida Pillow-Fighting

Normally, you don’t see a broadcast booth spend a plurality of a football game raving about the “time of possession” statistic. Then again, normally, you don’t see a team win said battle by a full 30 minutes of game time, which is precisely what Miami did to Indianapolis last night. And then again, you don’t normally see a team control the ball for fewer than 15 minutes of the game… and win anyway.

Pierre Garcon gets two thumbs down
(”Okay, so you just scored the go-ahead touchdown. Allow me to retort: BOOOO THUMBS DOWN TO YOU BOOOOOOO!”)

But lo and behold, thanks to the quickest of quick-strike offenses, the Colts did exactly that; thanks to touchdown drives of 1, 6, and 4 plays, Indianapolis prevailed in Miami, 27-23. Indeed, the Colts’ longest drive of the night was a 9-play drive that led to a 2nd quarter field goal; on the other side of the field, the Fins had exactly one shorter drive: an 8-play, 25-yard drive that ended in a punt. After that, literally every drive of theirs was 9 plays or longer. That’s the longest shortest drive since [ERROR WE ARE NOT ELIAS SPORTS BUREAU CLIENTS ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?].

Ah, but without turnovers, time of possession is effectively meaningless. Read more…

Speed Read: Romo, Jones Have Different “Picks”

Usually, Tony Romo saves his worst for last, shining as the season begins but falling apart in December and January. But hey, last night was kind of a big game - it was the first “official” game at the new Cowboys Stadium, and it was a national TV audience against the arch-rival New York Giants. So I guess you can’t blame Romo for reverting to his late-season form and throwing up all over himself in the Cowboys’ 33-31 loss.

Tony Romo vs Giants

Romo threw three picks - including one that was returned for a touchdown - and generally looked more spooked than a race horse that’s just been hit with a firecracker. But despite this, the Cowboys actually led late, and it looked like Dallas might pull out an improbable victory. Read more…

Jeter’s Gigantic 31,000-Sq. Ft. Home Almost Ready

• That is one mighty-sized mansion Derek Jeter is building himself down in Tampa.

Derek Jeter house

• Both Tom Watson & Lance Armstrong fall short over the weekend.

• Cubs skipper Lou Piniella gets personal with Milton Bradley.

• Indonesia asks Manchester United to never mind the bombings.

• $12 million could sure help the Arena Football League stay in business.

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Indonesia Asked ManU To Ignore Hotel Bombing?

Pity upon the world outside America and Western Europe that we think they’re lawless, brutish savages. After all, as a general rule, the only time they make the news is if A) the Olympics are going on or, more likely, B) something has exploded or broken and a whole lot of people just died.

Hotel bombing
(”This is not fit for a celebrity! Gentlemen, let’s be on our way! Harrumph!”)

So when Indonesia, only the fourth most populous country on the planet, finally made some headlines last week, it’s frankly no surprise that it’s because a hotel was bombed. With that, Manchester United cancelled a date to play an exhibition match in Jakarta, seeing as how it was their hotel that got bombed just a week before they arrived and all. But Indonesian government officials were undeterred, to their credit, and continued to extend an invitation to ManU to play down there. So did the famed squad thumb its nose in front of terrorism and strike a blow for sanity over fear?

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Man Utd Star Rio Ferdinand Prefers A Snugger Fit

Soccer has always had a tough time gaining legitimacy as a sport amongst a large portion of Americans. Maybe it’s Americans’ latent isolationist bent, maybe it’s the flopping, maybe it’s the frequent 0-0 matches. Or maybe it’s stuff like this:

Rio Ferdinand

(He appears to be a Florida fan to boot.)

No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed Manchester United star Rio Ferdinand wearing a halter top and short jorts, filling the questionable fashion hole left after the departure of Miss World Cristiano Ronaldo.  In the words of Mr. Belding, “what is going on here?”

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Week In Review: No Steroids in MLB, Why Watch?

• Major League Baseball without steroids is like porn without the silicone.

Monster Implants In Porn Like Steroids In Baseball

Just don’t blog about the subject with Raul Ibanez.

Rodney Harrison doesn’t like how the NFL has become “soft and pansy“.

• A Fox News morning show lambasts MTV for Bruno’s ass-ault on Eminem - then does a segment with a Fox reporter doing basically the same thing to a lingerie football player.

Tim Floyd takes off from the Trojans. What, and leave the Song Girls?

• Soon-to-be newlyweds Kendra Wilkinson & Eagles WR Hank Baskett are expecting a baby. On the other side of the spectrum, Barry Bonds’ wife demands a divorce.

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Man U’s Newest Star Is Pulling Some Serious Tail

In the aftermath of the $132 million transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid, Manchester United fans might be worried that their beloved soccer team might now become a lesser presence in the celebrity gossip and society pages. Who would fill the void left behind with the loss of the Paris Hilton-snogging fashion victim? Who would provide ManU fans with naked girlfriend party pics? Who will challenge Miss Albania now?

Federico Macheda Sophie Houghton

Rest easy, Red Devils. The world’s most famous pro soccer team knows better than to get rid of its biggest stars without a replacement plan, and young striker Federico Macheda  is poised to be the next breakout superstar. More importantly, however, he’s landed a fresh-faced young lass to serve as his representative in the gossip pages of Britian’s tabloids. Gentlemen (and,uh, ladies if you’re so inclined), meet soccer’s newest WAG, Sophie Houghton.

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Paris Hilton Helps Ronaldo Celebrate New Riches

Cristiano Ronaldo can now buy all the pink hats & pearls he wants, as the soccer star is moving from Manchester United to Real Madrid in a $130 million deal. By scoring such a financial windfall (and relocating from soggy England to sunnier Spain), Cristiano decided to celebrate by hitting the Hollywood nightclubs last night.

Cristiano Ronaldo Paris Hilton

And which starlet did CR end up shacking up with by the end of the night? Would you believe Paris Hilton? Of course you would - it would be harder to believe that Paris wouldn’t get together with the now-richer Ronaldo.

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