Speed Read: Sox Spank Yanks Again At Fenway

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s only June, but the folks in New York can’t be pleased that the Yankees dropped to 0-7 against the Red Sox this year with a 6-5 loss at Fenway last night. To put it in perspective, the last time this happened the Yankees weren’t even the Yankees. It was 1912, and the New York Highlanders (and here I thought there could only be one Highlander) were the ones who couldn’t buy a win against the Sox.

Red Sox spank Yankees

(This is about the only Red Sox spanking Yankee fans wouldn’t mind)

Even more worrisome for New York is the continued debacle that is Chien-Ming Wang. After giving up four runs in 2 2/3 innings, Wang now has a 21.61 ERA in five starts this year — the highest ERA through five starts for a pitcher in the freaking history of baseball. Joe Girardi seems exasperated as to what to do with Wang. They’ve already done the DL thing, and NEW YORK TIMES notes that he was hitting 95 on the gun last night, so it would be hard to argue that he’s hurt again.

Chien-Ming Wang

Mark Teixeira clearly isn’t the problem for the Yankees, as he went 4-for-5 with his league-leading 19th home run. But that doesn’t matter, since A-Rod is signaling to Tex where the catcher is setting up when he’s in the on-deck circle. What, you think that’s crazy talk that only some loose-cannon “analyst” who also thinks that George Clooney is “over there solving that thing” could come up with? Well, OK, you’d be right. AWFUL ANNOUNCING says Rick Sutcliffe has gotten into some hot water with the Yankee duo after accusing them of the pitch tipping on an ESPN broadcast with absolutely no evidence to back it up.

In any case, Boston has reclaimed a one-game lead in the AL East, which is remarkable considering they’ve gotten nothing out of David Ortiz, Daisuke Matsuzaka has been mostly a mess in his few starts, Josh Beckett just recently got his act together, they still don’t really have a shortstop, and this guy is milling around Fenway:

Red Sox Fans

Tim Floyd was pushed off a cliff by USC resigned from his position as head coach of USC yesterday in the wake of the O.J. Mayo scandal, and ESPN’s Andy Katz put together a column that lists all of the questions that are now left to be answered in the wake of this move. Katz theorizes, among other things, that Floyd might be USC’s sacrificial lamb in the NCAA’s investigation against the school’s football and basketball programs.

Tim Floyd and OJ Mayo

Floyd’s resignation comes in the wake of most of his team declaring that they wouldn’t be coming back anyway, for various reasons. Marcus Johnson jumped through all of the hoops to earn a waiver for a sixth year of eligibility, then suddenly decided to stay in the NBA draft, where he’s not expected to be picked. Daniel Hackett is even blowing off his senior season to also not get picked by an NBA team. Think they know something we don’t (yet) about where this program is heading, even with Floyd’s departure?

So now what for the Trojans? Would Jamie Dixon, who grew up in So Cal, be up for rebuilding the program? What about Randy Bennett of Saint Mary’s? Rick Pitino? OK, now we’re just getting silly. Which means that Bobby Knight makes all sorts of sense.

Now, here are some things to read while Tom Brady waits to get rescued after flipping his kayak over:

HALOS HEAVEN has a huge break in the Nick Adenhart case, as toxicology reports show that Courtney Stewart, the 20-year-old driver of the car Adenhart was riding in, had a BAC of .016 at the time of her death. That’s twice the legal limit for an adult, and infinity times the limit for a 20-year-old (actually, California generously allows an underager to blow up to a .01 without consequence). ORANGE COUNTY WEEKLY’s Nick Schou is the one who obtained the toxicology reports, against the wishes of the DA’s office.

Courtney Stewart tox report

While it still doesn’t come close to excusing Andrew Gallo’s choice to drive drunk, and it doesn’t change the fact that Gallo is the one who ran a red light to cause the crash, it certainly is now reasonable for Gallo’s lawyer to argue that Stewart’s impairment could’ve played just as large a role in the accident as his client did. TMZ also reports that Stewart tested positive for an “illegal substance.” Still a horrible tragedy all around, but this definitely calls Adenhart’s judgment into question, as it looks like he chose to get into a car with an underage drunk (and possibly high) driver. What if Stewart had been sober? Would she have been able to see Gallo running the light and stop in time? We’ll never know.

• D.C. SPORTS BOG exposes what is either an unholy union between the Redskins and that LOL cats site, or somebody hacked the ‘Skins website and put a kitty’s picture in place of Jason Campbell (and really, you have the ability to hack into an NFL team’s site and that’s what you do?):

Redskins website cat

• Elsewhere in D.C., we found out last night exactly how many Nats fans would wait through a rain delay to see if their team could come back from a 2-0 deficit in the bottom of the 9th inning — less than 100. That’s how many folks were on hand after a two hour delay to see their team rally to tie the game, only to lose it in the 12th. This despite converting the popular 4-3-6-4-6 double play in that inning.

• Everyone’s been talking about Zack Greinke all year, but Justin Verlander might be the best pitcher in the AL Central. He cruised to a complete-game victory over the White Sox last night to move to 7-0 in his last nine starts.

• Boy, who could’ve ever predicted that Jameer Nelson might not play that well in the Finals after not having played a game since before the All-Star break?

• If things keep going the way they are, according the WASHINGTON POST, the entire LPGA Tour will soon be available for you to hire for your bachelor party.

Play Golf Designs

We know that Joe Montana’s kid has committed to play football at Washington, but current Huskies QB Jake Locker had some big news of his own today — he was drafted by the Angels in the 10th round of the MLB draft. If Locker signs a baseball contract, he’ll still be eligible to play football for UW but will lose his scholarship.

Marcin Gortat has a sweet ride to go with that Jordan tattoo.

Marcin Gortat car

Brett Favre is apparently in trouble for not showing up to organized team activities for a team he doesn’t even play for. Favre’s non-coach, Brad Childress, says he set no deadline for Favre to accept the team’s non-offer to play for them. For now, the Vikings are now going to feign disinterest in having Favre around but will eventually pass him a note asking him if he’d want to go to training camp with them.

• Funny how everyone is so bent out of shape about Stephen Strasburg asking for $25 million or more to pitch for the Nationals, but nobody bats an eye when fifth-overall pick Mark Sanchez gets $28 million in guaranteed money from the Jets. But think of all the nice stuff Mark can buy for girlfriend Hilary Rhoda:

Hilary Rhoda

Knowing now that the underage driver of Nick Adenhart’s car had been drinking, does that change your view of the accident?

View Results

Anna Rawson, LPGA Savior, Leads After Round 1

If the whole “YOU MUST SPEAK ENGLISH” mandate from the LPGA was just a ruse to give the ladies some much-needed PR — even if it outraged everybody — if this keeps up, the tour could become relevant in the time it takes to hastily dial (213) 785-7675 into your cell phone.

Anna Rawson

That’s right, runway model and golfer Anna Rawson is tied for the lead after the first round of the Bell Micro Classic. This wouldn’t be noteworthy if not for the fact that she’s currently 150th on the money list and she’s extremely attractive. The former makes it sort of a compelling story, the latter makes it front-page news. Or at least it should.

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Michelle Wie’s Fall Semester Will Include Q-School

For teenagers, September generally isn’t the best month of the year.   It generally just signifies the end of summer vacation and a return to school.   Michelle Wie is still a teenager, and although she’s made herself some money playing golf the last few years, she’s no different than the rest.

Michelle Wie

However, unlike all her fellow teenagers, she’s not going to be taking Calculus this semester.  No, she’s going to be taking classes at the LPGA’s qualifying school (no word on whether or not English 101 is a part of the curriculum).

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Natalie Gulbis Accepts Trump’s “Apprentice”ship

Having been beaten back to the border fence by legal and political forces for trying to require English competency in her players, LPGA commissioner Carolyn Bivens’ ladies will have to revert to old standbys to keep the league in the public’s eye: Donald Trump’s loins.

Natalie Gulbis

(Quick quiz: What languages does she speak?  Do you care?  Are you even reading this now? Exactly.)

Natalie Gulbis, somehow expert at the ways of public relations despite a sub-par 2008 season thus far, has managed to secure a spot in this season’s “Apprentice”, according to El Trump Primero himself.  We expect that marketing savvy is exactly what drew Trump to young Ms. Gulbis.  NBC has yet to confirm, but has Trump ever lied to us?

Right.  Anyway.
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LPGA Takes A Mulligan On “English-Only” Policy

Remember the stink over the LPGA’s “English-Only” policy? With responding threats & anger from civil rights groups, politicians and their own sponsors, the golf organization has decided to back down.

Korean golfers

Instead, the LPGA is just “encouraging” their foreign players to learn to speak English. Commissioner Caroline Bivens issued a statement, and you can hear her back pedaling faster than Michelle Wie on a leaderboard after nine holes.

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Jenna Jameson To Enjoy MMA-Made Motherhood

Jenna Jameson happily announces that she’ll soon deliver a new li’l Tito (or Titoette) Ortiz into the world.

Jenna Jameson blowing kiss

(DVD obsolescence would be good for her adolescent)

• Did Tony La Russa stop Bruce Springstreen from stepping on the St. Louis stage on time?

• The FBI is looking into Lindsey Hunter’s involvement in some shady suburban housing shenanigans.

• NBC notes nothing about a gold medal-winning Aussie diver’s alternative lifestyle.

• The LPGA demands that all their players learn to speak English good.

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LPGA To Its Players: Speak English Or Get Out

If you were to take a look at the LPGA’s money list for the 2008 schedule, you’d see a lot of foreign-born players populating the top of the list. Korean women, in particular, seem to be taking the sport over. Nine of the top 20 women on the LPGA money list are Korean, while only five were born in the United States.

On the surface, this is a good thing for the LPGA. It means that the sport of women’s golf is growing around the world, which will in turn make the sport better. Still, there’s some downsides to having so many foreign-born players on the tour, and that’s that nobody can understand what anybody is saying. Which is why the LPGA has told it’s players that they better learn to speak English, or they can get off the tour.

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NYC Modeling Agency Recruits Seven LPGA Pros

We’re all more than used to the beauty shots and calendars from Natalie Gulbis, but per the L.A. TIMES, a division of the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency in New York now wants to play “Pygmalion” for seven LPGA Tour golfers you’ve likely not heard of and turn them into headline-grabbers for how they look off the course along with how they play on it.

Kim Hall

Golfers Kim Hall (pictured above), Stacy Prammanasudh, Anna Grzebien, Minni Blomqvist, Sandra Gal, Joanna Head, and Mikaela Parmlid are now the “Wilhelmina 7.” It’s the project of Dieter Esch, who somehow managed to discover that people will likely pay more attention to athletes on the way up if they’re good-looking. Who would have thought?
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