As much publicity as things like anabolic steroids and HGH have gotten in recent years, the dark truth of professional sports is that performance-enhancing substances take many, evil forms. The fact of the matter is that marginal prospects will do anything to hang onto the gravy train that is a pro athlete lifestyle; it sure as hell beats going to the drugstore to sell Flair pens every morning.

The desperate athlete is a dangerous creature indeed; he cares not for his reputation or well-being. Sadly, a shameful example of this sort of despicable behavior has come to light in the otherwise Utopian city of Chicago. End-o’-the-roster Bears WR Devin Aromashodu (Gesundheit!), who is currently trying to avoid being the odd man out amongst the six WRs currently on the team, has attempted to gain an unfair advantage over his peers. The details are shocking and horrifying, and are therefore hidden after the jump.

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In a player survey, 80 percent of NFL players were polled as to which coaches they’d most, and least, want to play for. It’s actually a fascinating look at how players balance their desire to win with their desire to play for a nice guy, two things that are often mutually incompatible. And Bill Belichick, probably the best illustration of that, got some interesting responses.

The last two Super Bowl winners ended up at opposite ends of the list. Tony Dungy, unsurprisingly, was named the most desirable head coach - his father-figure-like manner, and on-the-field success made him a clear number one. Hardass Tom Coughlin was the coach players least wanted to play for. The poll was conducted during last season, before the Giants’ championship, so those 53 players with rings are probably pretty glad they sucked it up. Plaxico Burress could not be reached for comment.

And what about Belichick, an a**hole who always wins?

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It’s hardly surprising that Bears head coach Lovie Smith has named Kyle Orton the starting quarterback for the preseason opener against the Chiefs tomorrow. Partly because Orton was thrust into the role during his rookie season in 2005 and the team won 11 games, but also because Rex Grossman is his primary competition for the full-time job.

Nothing has officially been decided for the season — Smith indicated that Grossman would start next week’s preseason game in Seattle — but the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES’ Brad Briggs has an interesting theory on why Orton will be under center at Soldier Field tomorrow night:

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