Pierre Jean “Buster” Martin told London Marathon officials that he ranked as their oldest ever participant and the oldest marathoner ever, an overripe 101 years of age. He received the usual human interest stories and virtual pats on the back. Old people doin’ it for themselves!

(Did you know I ran the first marathon? I was in Greece on leave from the lines in Normandy and…)

Except the good folks at Guinness’ book division wouldn’t verify the record. Apparently, Buster likes to tell stories. Like about the triplets his virile sperm once created 87 years ago. Except they didn’t. He’s more like 94. Maybe. Didn’t someone scan in his birth certificate when he was born?
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While Tiger Woods & crew were leisurely walking around Augusta (shouting obscenities along the way), there was much more movement across the pond on Sunday, as the London Marathon raced around town. (”Look, kids! Big Ben! Parliament!“)

(TK-421 racing back to his Death Star post)

While congrats are in order for Martin Lel winning the race for the third time in four years - in a new record time, even - there were many more sublime sights & scenes to enjoy among the 35,000-strong contestants.

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Six Maasai warriors from northern Tanzania will take part in the London Marathon on April 13th to raise awareness and funds for water-gathering materials for their village. (You can donate at that link.) To assist with the culture shock upon arrival in brassy London, Greenforce (a British charity based partially in Tanzania) has prepared a guide for the wayward runners.

Among the helpful hints are suggestions to not spit in public, use the water closet instead of the nearest tree for bowel movements, and wear underwear under the traditional red robes to avoid the embarrassment of a buffalo shot. Also, don’t kill any roaming animals like cows because someone probably owns them. Oh, now they tell us.

However, if Greenforce was really concerned about culture shock, they would have provided the following advice:
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