• THE BIG LEAD has important news - Stephen A. Smith wants to put his pen back to the paper by writing for ESPN The Magazine:

• The LONDON GUARDIAN tries to shine some light on the case of a Chelsea soccer player blinded by freakin’ lasers.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED announces their 2007 Sportsman of the Year - Brett Favre.

• DEADSPIN promises this is the last time they’ll ever bring up Colin Cowherd:

• With his Trojans stuck at #7, The LONG BEACH (CA) PRESS-TELEGRAM has Pete Carroll blasting the BCS.

• The CONTRA COSTA TIMES laces up, as the San Francisco Giants turn their ballpark into an ice rink.

• THE GRAND NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP believes the real reason why Les Miles isn’t Michigan-bound is Lloyd Carr’s continued presence:

• AOL FANHOUSE tampers with the realization that Hank Steinbrenner’s open coveting of Johan Santana is against MLB rules.

• On a tip from SPORTSKARMA, Texas A&M’s BATTALION brushes off news about an Aggie with the world’s longest leg hair.

POLL NO LONGER MUM(ME) ABOUT WHO VOTED HAWAII #1: Tony Barnhart of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION found some fun tidbits in the final coaches poll of the 2007 college football regular season:

Most interesting was a first-place vote given to Hawaii, who needed a last-minute touchdown and last-second interception to defeat a 4-8 Washington at home late Saturday night.The undefeated and Sugar Bowl-bound Warriors were at the top of the list of Hal Mumme, head coach at fellow WAC member New Mexico State.

Meanwhile, some coaches were staying true to their school. LSU’s Les Miles and Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops each voted their own team #1, while Virginia Tech’s Frank Beamer and Georgia’s Mark Richt each had their squads at #2 - with Richt putting his Bulldogs ahead of LSU.Like Mumme, Big Ten coaches also kept solidarity with their conference, as all seven that vote in the poll had Ohio State ranked #1 - even Michigan’s Lloyd Carr.

Need some further help in deciphering the poll madness? The site POLLSPEAK attempts to rationalize some of the thinking by coaches, columnists and computers about who ranks where. They even nominate which casted ballots make the most sense & most nonsense.Such as voting Hawaii #1.

CARROLL GIVES CROSSTOWN KUDOS TO DORRELL’S DOINGS: The crew over at DUMP DORRELL have been searching for reasons to oust the UCLA football coach. And now they may have found the best of them all - thanks to Pete Carroll:

T.J. Simers of the LOS ANGELES TIMES asked the USC coach about his Westwood counterpart, to which Pete replied that Karl has done a “fantastic” job:”They found ways to win and created an opportunity to win when a lot of other teams wouldn’t have….He’s found a way to keep his team together.”

Of course, besides last season, it helps that none of the Bruins’ wins have come at the expense of the Trojans.

Obviously Carroll and the USC fans want to keep Dorrell around for the same reason Ohio State fans wanted Lloyd Carr to stay - both coaches haven’t had much success against their rivals.If your most hated opponents are satisfied with your own coach’s performance, it’s time for a change.

SHOCKER! HARBAUGH WON’T BE NEXT MICHIGAN COACH: While some are crying out for the opportunity to become Michigan’s next coach, Jim Harbaugh kept his cool:

FOX SPORTS reports that the Stanford coach & former Wolverines QB isn’t interested in the job, saying he’s happy being down on The Farm.Harbaugh did have some kind words for Lloyd Carr, talking about what a “tremendous job” the outgoing coach did in his 13 years at Ann Arbor, adding, “I’m happy for him and the decision he made, because I say he’s a tremendous man and a tremendous person.”

Tremendous.

Or course, it’s no big surprise that Harbaugh wouldn’t be a prime candidate. Eariler this year, Jim took some jabs at his alma mater, questioning the academic requirements for some of their athletes.In response, Carr had called Harbaugh’s comments “elitist”, “arrogant” and “self-serving“.

So, it’s safe to say that the only way you’ll see Harbaugh on the Michigan Stadium sidelines is if the Cardinal schedules a September visit to the Big House.

LES SHEDS MILES OF TEARS WHEN ASKED ABOUT UM JOB: The University of Michigan hasn’t contacted Les Miles about their football job opening, and that makes him sad:

USA TODAY grabs a hankie, as the LSU coach teared up during a media luncheon when asked about the availability in Ann Arbor.Miles said that Michigan hasn’t called, but added it was “unfair” to expect them to do so. He told reporters, “What I’m doing is what you should do — let it rest. I’m playing football for LSU. I love this team.”

Then the waterworks came. Les paused for 15 seconds, before regaining his composure and continuing, “And I’ll not do anything to hurt it.”

Analysts have been talking how Miles is a “Michigan Man”, playing and coaching under Bo Schembechler. He even met his future wife when she was an assistant for UM’s womens basketball team.At his own retirement announcement, Lloyd Carr was even approached about the “Michigan Man” issue, when asked about selecting his successor. Carr responded by bringing up Wolverine coaches of the past:

“Bo Schembechler wasn’t a Michigan man. Fritz Crisler wasn’t a Michigan man. Fielding Yost wasn’t a Michigan man.”When pressed by the press about his job decision, Miles replied, “I’m not going to talk about jobs, don’t care about jobs. I don’t want to involve myself in that thought process….Don’t ask me that question anymore.”

Then Miles went off to find his blankie.Some Bayou Bengals believe that they’ll soon be Les-less. LSU RB Keiland Williams knows what it comes down to: “Michigan is a very prestigious university, and we all know of Coach Miles’ past ties to that school….This is a business. You can’t fault anyone for that.”

RUSSIAN NESTING DOLLS NOW RULING BIG 12 FOOTBALL: What another fun weekend of college football.

Joe Paterno falls down:

Nick Saban sends in the (ineligible) clowns:

Lloyd Carr is down (and out):

and someone we love keeps piling on the pounds (and looking increasing like a babushka doll):

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY grabs this actual headline from ESPN.com:

• Speaking of A-Rod, VEGAS WATCH wonders who’s going to pay $350 million for a 41-year-old infielder.• Pete Dougherty of the ALBANY (NY) TIMES UNION doesn’t like all the dunking on SportsCenter’s Top Ten.

• 100% INJURY RATE broadcasts how Nike is selling the Olympics in China:

• STEROID NATION tees up news that the PGA is getting tough on drug use.• RUMORS AND RANTS has some suggestions on who should replace Lloyd Carr.

LLOYD CARR READY TO RETIRE AFTER OHIO ST. LOSS GAME: Looks like Lloyd Carr is driving off into the sunset:

M GO BLOG learns that the Michigan coach is set to retire at the end of the season. Folks in the athletic department have apparently been told about his decision.The official announcement will likely come after the Ohio State game, probably at the Monday press conference, or a day or two afterwards.

Jon Wilner of the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS weighs in on the possible departure of the Wolverines coach, and what it means to Buckeyes fans. Wilner refers to the coach as “Llloyd,” explaining “Yep, with three ‘L’s.”

And EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY takes a nostalgic look at the Carr soon to motor off the Maize & Blue lot.

But he’ll be missed most of all by the fine folks over at Appalachian State, who have Llloyd to thank for thrusting their small school into the national spotlight.

UM’S EARLY SEASON WIPEOUT NOW FORGOTTEN? UH … NO: The hard working folks over at COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS, bless their hearts, confirmed today why we don’t visit their site ever much. In a breakdown of the best college coaching jobs this season, Michigan’s Lloyd Carr was ranked #3:

“Yes, that Lloyd Carr. Think of where this team was on September 8th. The defense was supposedly too slow. The team was about to be in for the season Notre Dame is dealing with. There was no hope in sight, and Carr was as good as canned. And then the wins started coming, winning eight in a row going into the Wisconsin showdown, and Carr and his staff have done it with QB Chad Henne and Heisman-caliber RB Mike Hart getting hurt.”

When I think of the word “showdown”, the Price Is Right’s thrilling finale comes more to mind than Michigan v. Wisconsin.

And after Henne’s graceful postgame exit at Michigan State last Saturday, we’re not so sure he isn’t back on the shelf.