Sure, we’re right in the middle of some exciting NBA & NHL playoff action, and the MLB season is well underway. But we’re still a few months before the start of the sport many American truly live & die for: Lingerie football! Yes, pigskin in panties! Gridiron in garters! Blocking schemes in bras!
The Lingerie Football League season doesn’t kick off until September, but like their brethren in the NFL, the ladies of the LFL still need the summer months to get themselves into football shape. (No, not into the shape of footballs. That would be silly - and defeat the whole purpose of lingerie football).
We previously covered (or uncovered) the progress of some of the new LFL franchises, like the Denver Dream, the Seattle Mist, and the Tampa Breeze - or more specifically, Tampa Breeze players Melissa Berry & Reby Sky. And now we take a peek at South Florida’s entry into the lingerie league - the Miami Caliente.
Good news, Seattle fans! Your dreary days of a sad sports landscape will soon be over. The Seahawks make you sour? The Mariners make you miserable? The lack of Sonics make you feel lousy? No matter - because here comes the Seattle Mist!
No, it’s not the newest flavor from Jones Soda (although that does sound delicious), but one of the newest franchises of the Lingerie Football League (which also sounds delicious). And today’s a lucky day for you Seattle-area football fanatics, as the Mist will be holding their first practice - and it’s open to the public!
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: organizers have called off the Lingerie Bowl for the third straight year. The TAMPA TRIBUNE reports that the reason isn’t that no one is buying the PPV, or that people can get the same about of gratuitous shots of three-quarters naked women doing something athletic from an episode of “Rock of Love.” No, this is for a far more ironic reason: the nude resort it was being held at wouldn’t agree to have their residents put clothes on.
As we previously mentioned, the game was scheduled to be held at the Caliente nudist resort in Florida, and several of the players were uncomfortable playing in a game in front of nude spectators. Again, the players - who would be running around tackling each other in skimpy underwear and many of whom have posed nude in the past - were uncomfortable with nudity. Sure. And I’m sure it had nothing to do with the late payments and drastic pay cuts that were rumored.
If you thought a group of attractive, scantily-clad young women could just get together and play some physical football like the good old days, well, think again. Just when it looked like this year’s Lingerie Bowl was saved by a quick-thinking site move to a nudist colony, two major obstacles have emerged: 1) Lingerie-wearing players are openly upset they’re being forced to play in a “clothing optional” community; and 2) An agent claims that the company putting on the Bowl didn’t pay its players for a previous game, and is now offering 70% less than the original financial agreement.
(Hut, hut … homina, homina, homina!)
First, let’s take a look at some visual evidence of lingerie models to see if they really have a right to gripe about playing at the Caliente nudist resort in Pasco County, Fla. The woman you see above is Reby Sky, the quarterback of the homestanding Tampa Breeze, and the player who lodged the complaint that you can read in full after the jump. In this photo, she’s actually a participatory nudist, and that photo is a promo shot for the actual event she’s arguing shouldn’t be held in a nudist colony. Oh, and we should mention that she’s posed for PLAYBOY. Just worth mentioning.
There aren’t many sports power couples, but there’s definitely a hierarchy. Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf are the A-listers. Shelden Williams and Candace Parker are, generously, B-list. Jennie Finch and Casey Daigle are just scraping by as C-listers. So where does that leave MMA Fighter KJ Noons and Lingerie Football League “player” Melany Lorenzo? Who cares, she’s hot and has lots of pictures. Happy New Year to you, too.
Noons has put together a 7-2 record in MMA, mostly EliteXC of late. And Lorenzo, big surprise, is a former Playboy model (I’m shocked - shocked! - that someone in Lingerie Football would have to resort to something so degrading). Which means, if you were so inclined, there are ways of seeing her in less clothing. Although these will suffice for now, I think.
Tags: Andre Agassi
, Candace Parker
, Casey Daigle
, Jennie Finch
, Kj Noons
, Lingerie Football
, Lingerie Football League
, Melany Lorenzo
, Melany Lorenzo Photos
, Shelden Williams
, Steffi Graf
Melissa Berry’s career had just taken off. Once merely a run-of-the-mill stripper at Tampa’s Thee Dollhouse, she’d just landed a coveted position on the Tampa Breeze, one of the entries of the soon-defunct soon-to-launch Lingerie Football League.
Then she met “healthy dating and sexual assault” expert Mark Dawson.
The 25-year-old Berry started dating the 45-year-old Dawson, who based on his apparent career as relationship expert probably seemed a safe bet at the time.
Yeah, and so did the stock market 3 months ago. (More photos of Ms. Berry after the jump.) Read more…
Adrian Ross isn’t the only one to have his scantily-clad Super Bowl shindig scuttled. The EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE reports that there’ll be no Lingerie Bowl performed this year.
Organizers blame the city of Scottsdale for “wasting their time” trying to obtain a permit for the halftime extravaganza. It was their first attempt at holding the game in the same Super Bowl-host city, as the previous pay-per-view contests were played & taped at the L.A. Coliseum.
It will be the second year in a row viewers will be denied a chance to see gals decked in pads, panties & push-up bras playing pigskin.
PORN STAR JAMESON OVERWORKED FOR LINGERIE BOWL? Ladies and gentlemen, your color commentator for next year’s Lingerie Bowl, 32-year-old Jenna Jameson:
I am a little worried, considering it appears Ms. Jameson may be already be overworked in preparation for the broad-cast.