Bama’s Ingram Says He Golfed a ‘69′ In 8th Grade

Could you have ever imagined Kim Jong Il coming up in a discussion about the race for the Heisman Trophy? (Hold up on Clausen for a second, let me finish …)

Mark Ingram and Kim Jong Il: A couple of golfing legends

(Ingram claims he shot a 69 in 8th grade, still 35 shots shy of Kim)

Don Kausler Jr. of the BIRMINGHAM NEWS has a report today on Alabama running back Mark Ingram that reads like it was ripped straight from THE ONION:

How athletic is Alabama’s sophomore running back, who now is a front-runner for the Heisman Trophy?

He once bowled a 248.

And he once shot a 69 in golf.

As an eighth grader.

So, like the North Korean news agency that once reported Kim shot a round of -38, how did Kausler happen on this magnificient discovery and what exhaustive measures did he take to lock down the information as legitimate before publishing it in Alabama’s largest daily newspaper?

Which of these is true?

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Adrian Peterson Didn’t Save No. Iowa CC Football

So much for Purple Jesus coming good on his samaritan role, huh? Just more than a day after Northern Iowa Area Community College announced that Vikings star Adrian Peterson was donating $150,000, enough money to save the school’s football program, the man who broke news of the donation, assistant football coach Kevin Griffin, admitted he made up the whole story.

Adrian Peterson Vikings

(Northern Iowa Area what?)

While the news, which we tripped across at COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK, is a slight publicity hit to Peterson — who didn’t do anything wrong to earn the trouble himself — it’s a crushing blow to the NIACC program, quite literally. The team needed at least $150,000 to continue operating, and with the revelation that Peterson’s donation was, well, never a donation, the school is shuttering the football program altogether, effective immediately.

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Who Has ‘Lied And Lied And Lied And Lied’ Now?

Reid Cherner of USA TODAY’s GAME ON blog reminds us of grandstanding politician Dan Burton browbeating Brian McNamee during his show trial congressional appearance last February, saying that McNamee “lied and lied and lied and lied:

Dan Burton Calls Brian McNamee A Liar In Front Of Congres

Speaking of liars, think this news has a few folks on Capitol Hill relieved these days?

Broken: ESPN Recognizes Fox’s 1st Favre Report

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com and the BILOXI SUN-HERALD are the first we could find to break the news of Brett Favre’s retirement today. Looks like the real deal.

ESPN Recognizes Fox Sports Scooping Brett Favre retirement

Bigger shock than Favre’s retirement? ESPN recognized that Glazer and FOXSports.com broke the story. Read more…

NFL Media As The “Pulp Fiction” Basement Scene

You’ve probably heard the conflicting stories regarding the current status of Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor. Jason Cole of YAHOO SPORTS initially reported last night that Taylor was done playing for the Fins.

Bill Parcells

Upon seeing the report by Cole, Bill Parcells immediately contacted ESPN’s Chris Mortensen to lash out at the Yahoo report, saying it was false and that “This latest report is just another example of journalistic irresponsibility.

Mortensen must’ve gritted his teeth when he took the call from The Tuna about Taylor, considering how Parcells treated Mort the last time he was involved in NFL transactional intrigue. Read more…

Jeff Tedford Is Somehow Responsible For This

The TALLAHASSEE DEMOCRAT reports a Florida A&M freshman QB is in hot water over an attack hoax that turned out to be his own creation. Police say on-field gunslinger Michael Johnson “lied about being attacked at gunpoint by three masked men in his dorm room.”

Michael Johnson Florida A&M Liar

Those involved with this case are still trying to figure out why Johnson would write “Mike + football = death” on his mirror, television and refrigerator.” Police and school officials were not impressed by the frosh’s creation since NIU and Virginia Tech are fresh in the minds of college students.

Read more…

Lawyer: Clemens Now “Might” Have Been At Party

By now you know about Roger Clemens’ most desperate attempt to besmirch the credibility of Brian McNamee.

Roger Clemens Carson Daly

McNamee claimed in his deposition to federal investigators that Clemens had been at a party thrown by Jose Canseco in 1998. Clemens’ quickly disputed that he had attended the party, and tried to use his denial as a hot poker against the overall veracity of McNamee’s claims against him. Read more…

Mattingly: Passover Prayers Answered By Yankees

When Joe Torre decided not to return as the manager of the New York Yankees, former Yankee great Don Mattingly seemed to be next in line to be skipper. But in the end, Mattingly was passed over in favor of former Florida Marlins manager Joe Girardi.

Joe Girardi Don Mattingly

According to Mattingly, the decision that the Yankees brass made was like “one of those unanswered prayers.” I’m pretty sure he twisted his words a bit there because Mattingly couldn’t be happier to NOT be managing the Yankees. Read more…

Isiah, General, Skiles To Replace IU’s Coach Kel?

We’re enjoying the speculation over who will likely take over for Kelvin Sampson after the guillotine soon drops (presumably before the Snorg girl gets a piece of the action).

Indiana Kelvin Sampson Tshirts Signs

One of the great things about the NYC/BOS/PHI/DC media corridor is how it manufactures controversy and intrigue. And how it sometimes can influence actual events.

So with that in mind, we read a suggestion from NEWARK STAR-LEDGER NBA writer Michael Obernauer with amusement today. Read more…

Hi-Schoolers Got Cash, Caddy, Apt. & “Amenities”

St. Louis’ RIVERFRONT TIMES gives us the latest update on our favorite high school basketball coach of all-time, Vashon High’s Floyd Irons.

Floyd Irons

The Times reports he “personally spent between $25,000 and $30,000 to house, feed and clothe two Vashon High School basketball players during a five-year period, according to the transcript of his November 12, 2007, interview with officials from the Missouri State High School Activities Association.Read more…