• David Warner of AOL FANHOUSE uncovers news that Tiffany May, the semi-clothed streaker at a recent U.S. Olympic qualifying match, will now be shedding her clothes for Playboy.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY (via THE DARTMOUTH) keeps both feet on the ground, as a future Big Green QB was almost killed by kitesurfing. But we suppose it could have been worse.

• KARE-TV reports that the ex-Vikings law-breaking trifecta is now complete. First Carl Eller, then Darrion Scott - now Onterrio Smith joins the jailbirds by getting cuffed for a DUI.

• THE ANGRY T finds some fashionable fillies breaking out the big hats at the Kentucky Derby.

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• Tony Kanaan’s wife suggests her IRL hubby go throw on a dress if he’s gonna qualify behind Danica Patrick.

Maybe a little stylish number like this?

• Speaking of married life, a couple of Dallas DJs don’t show much respect to some of the Royals’ significant others.

• First, Mindy McCready’s mom confirms her daughter’s connection to Roger Clemens. Now, the country singer’s dad adds that the two did the tantric tango together.

• Jason Taylor tries to bring some football flair to “Dancing With The Stars.” Bill Parcells remains unimpressed.

• Hulk Hogan caught placing his 24-inch pythons on some pretty posteriors.

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Today marks the 25th anniversary of one of the most memorable postgame meltdowns in Major League Baseball. It was on this date in 1983 that then-Chicago Cubs manager Lee Elia went off on a terrific tirade that had more utterances of the f-word than the entire run-time of “Scarface“.

(As printed on the front page of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE)

For those that need a refresher, here’s the original very-NSFW rant, while those with more sensitive ears can enjoy this bleep-heavy version.

And as Darren Rovell of CNBC comes to learn about our capitalistic society, classic cursing can become quite the cash cow. Read more…

• Jason Taylor is still alive on “Dancing With The Stars” - and he’s using ESPN THE MAGAZINE to tell you how he’s doing.

(Taylor likes what he sees in dance partner Edyta Sliwinska)

• What to do when your team’s not in the NBA playoffs? Well, COLLEGE ON THE RECORD catches Greg Oden partyting down at Penn State.

• Redskins TE Chris Cooley reminisces to SHUTDOWN CORNER about how his own draft day went.

• DEADSPIN cuts to the chase, as Terrell Owens has been cropped out of an incriminating photo.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that the NFL has reached a deal with videophile Matt Walsh.

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