D-Wade Is Just Too Darn Busy To Go To Court

In the classic novel Animal Farm, author George Orwell mockingly paints a satirical dystopian view of Communism. In particular, the book’s law that “all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” mocks the Communist ruling elites’ lip service to proletarianism and equality. Americans have long despised the idea that some people are inherently better than others and have championed the idea that America is a meritocracy in which anyone, of even the most humble means, can become successful and prosperous.

Dwyane Wade Sports Grill out of business

Of course, what civics class doesn’t teach you is that once someone has actually risen above their humble beginnings and achieved success…then the rules change. No more pesky equality for the powerful - those are ideas best reserved for the masses. Example One is the legal brief recently filed on behalf of wealthy, powerful Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade. Viva la revolucion!

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Yankees’ Records To Cost Taxpayers $5 Million?

Hey, you know what a colossal disaster the Yankee Stadium Experiment has been so far? Anyone feel like making things much, much worse? New York Assemblymen Richard Brodsky and James Brennan, yes, your hands are up, please go ahead.

Messy Office
(”The records are in here somewhere, we swear…”)

Brodsky and Brennan have issued subpoenas for the Yankees’ internal records, charging that construction deals will eventually cost $4 billion in financing and tax breaks, a troubling number since the team said the stadium “only” cost $1.5 billion to build. The Yankees’ response? According to ESPN, it’s “Go ahead, we’ll just cost your precious citizens even more money“:   Read more…

Another Day, Another Laker, Another ‘Sex Incident’

Los Angeles was happier to finish off their series with Denver than you know. It seems every time a Laker goes to Colorado — BAM! — one of them goes on trial for something sexual. The latest is Shannon Brown, who’s being sued for what’s ominously called a “sex-related incident.”

Shannon Brown

The incident dates back to January, when Brown was with the Charlotte Bobcats on a road trip to Denver. Police investigated but declined to pursue charges, and the Lakers weren’t even informed of it when they traded for Brown. But as we’ve learned from another SoCal athlete, criminal cases and civil cases are two different things.

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Ex-College QB Suing NCAA, EA Sports Over Game

I don’t play video games nearly as often as I did while still a teenager, but each year I do buy the newest version of EA Sports’ NCAA Football and then spend about two weeks ignoring all friends and responsibilities before putting the controller down. Every year when I get the game, I also make sure that I spend about an hour to an hour and a half manually entering the names of all the players on whichever team I’ve chosen, and the key players from the other schools as well. I just get tired of yelling at WR #83 for dropping passes, I need to know his name to make it real.

Of course the reason I have to do this is because EA Sports can’t use the actual players’ names because even though the NCAA licenses all the schools, mascots, stadiums, etc., they can’t allow them to use the players’ likenesses. Something about them being student athletes and not letting anybody profit off of them except themselves. So using a number instead of a name allows EA to do this.

However, that’s still across the line if you’re former Nebraska and Arizona State quarterback Sam Keller. He’s decided to sue both EA Sports and the NCAA about it.

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NAACP To Honor Clippers Owner Donald Sterling

There have been many opinions about Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling during his time running the team. The most common one being that Sterling is cheap and couldn’t care less about whether or not the team was winning, just as long as he was running a profit. He never signed the big free agents, or kept any of the team’s young talent anytime they began showing some promise.

Sterling has quieted some of these complaints in recent years by trying to re-sign players like Elton Brand and bringing in others such as Baron Davis. Then after essentially firing longtime general manager Elgin Baylor last October, he was hit with another criticism after Baylor filed a lawsuit against Sterling saying that he was a racist and that he had a “vision of a Southern plantation-type structure” within the organization. Well, Elgin’s lawsuit just took a pretty big blow. The NAACP is honoring Sterling with a lifetime achievement award.

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Criminally, Cowboys Dome Was Never Inspected

One DALLAS MORNING NEWS columnist is calling for questions, and not blame in the case of the Cowboys’ practice dome collapse. And that’s fine for a major newspaper. But this here’s a blog, so I’m going to go ahead and assign a large chunk of the blame to the Cowboys, for not having the roof inspected. Which is very illegal, in case you were wondering.

Cowboys Practice Dome

The Cowboys applied for a permit last year to replace the roof on the 6-year-old facility, but never told the city of Irving, Texas, when the work was completed. A full city inspection should have taken place, but apparently never did. And now Rich Behm is permanently paralyzed. You can bet a number of lawsuits are on the way.

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Villanueva Sued Over Alleged Nightclub Assault

Old Zen kōan: if something happens involving Charlie Villanueva, and he doesn’t Twitter about it, can it be said to really have happened at all? Regardless, we’ve got to report that the Bucks forward is being sued for assaulting a man at a nightclub last February.

Charlie Villanueva

The uploaded PDF of the complaint is missing a few pages, so we don’t know many details yet. But Daniel Fischer claims the attack at Decibel nightclub, where Villanueva is admittedly a regular, was “completely unprovoked” and left him with lasting damage.

The court of public opinion seems to have already made its ruling, though.

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Ex-Philly Mayor Says Eagles Lied About Lawsuits

If you know Philadelphia, you know it’s a corrupt town. It came out that the last mayor was being wiretapped by the FBI, and he still won re-election. So what does it say about the Eagles when that former mayor is calling them liars and cheats?

Tom Ridge, John Street, Jeffrey Lurie, Andy Reid

(l to r: Tom Ridge(?!), John Street, Liar, Hambeast)

To condense the legal mumbo-jumbo, here’s the gist: the city was suing the Eagles, until the Eagles threatened to sue the city for, coincidentally, the same amount of money. Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie went to then-mayor John Street, and allegedly made a handshake deal to just let both lawsuits go away quietly for $1 million. Now, Street says there never was such a deal, and protesters are marching on Lurie’s lawn.

It’s always shady in Philadelphia, after the jump.

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Gumbel Says His Infomercials Were A Sham, Wow!

I’m not a gullible guy. I’ve never bought anything advertised on an infomercial because, come on, if it was so good, it wouldn’t be advertised only on Home and Garden TV at 4 a.m. But what would happen if those time shares in Boca were endorsed by Greg Gumbel? Sirs, here is a blank check. Write in any amount, and I will pay it.

Greg Gumbel and Bryant Gumbel

Greg, best known as the Gumbel brother who doesn’t hate “white people sports,” is suing a Florida-based company for tricking him into recording infomercials pitching everything from waste management companies to yoga videos. He should have known something was up when his script included the lines “not available in stores,” “call in the next 20 minutes,” and “you’re gonna love my nuts.”

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Woman Says Eagles Fired Her For Having Cancer

Bonnie Grant used to be a spokeswoman for the Philadelphia Eagles who spent a lot of her time with the team trying to raise awareness of breast cancer through the team’s Tackling Breast Cancer organization. I say she used to be a spokeswoman because back in 2007 she was fired by the team. Or at least that’s her side of the story.

bonnie grant eagles breast cancer

In a lawsuit filed on Saturday, Grant claims that she was let go from the job without warning because of the fact she’s a woman, and that she also has breast cancer herself.

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