Blogs: ESPN Headline Dead Player Keeps Living

• BALLSIEST sheds a tear over this screenshot of ESPN’s web page - not because of the sad story, but of the heinous headline: headline way to live

• DUMP DORRELL is gaining support for their crusade of Coach Karl’s ouster - this time from the Worldwide Leader’s Pat Forde.• Seems like a lot of people are afraid to hurt Joe Torre’s feelings. First, Don Mattingly says he doesn’t want the Yankees job. Now, AOL FANHOUSE hears that Lou Piniella is denying any interest in the pinstripe position.

• WITH LEATHER piles it on, as this TV promo parody jeers, jeers at ol’ Notre Dame.

• BOSSIP wants to know who looks more bangin’ - boxer Laila Ali or balancer Dominique Dawes:

Laila Ali Dominique Dawes

Darren Rovell of CNBC sees the the Colorado Rockies as the greatest underdog story since, well, “Rocky”.• Hotlanta has further cemented itself as the sports mecca of the south, as the ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION reports a WNBA team is on its way to the Peachtree City.

• HOME RUN DERBY boogies down, as this “99 Luftballons” parody takes the air out of Cubs fans’ hopes.

Mark Cuban To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

CUBAN CHA-CHA’S HIS WAY ONTO REALITY DANCE SHOW: Mark Cuban and Wayne Newton will finally duke it out on the dance floor:

Mark Cuban drunk

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED waltzes in with news that the Dallas Mavericks owner will be appearing in the next upcoming season of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars”. Cuban will be following in the footsteps of past performers such as Clyde Drexler, Laila Ali and ESPN anchor Kenny Mayne.

The series follows 10 couples of paired-up celebrities and professional dancers as they trip the light fantastic before they trip up and off the show.

Cuban will be competing against such luminaries as former “90210″ star Jennie Garth, ex-Spice Girl Melanie Brown, and who’s sure to become his greatest rival - Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton.

Wayne Newton

Should be fun to hear the trash talk between these two!

Laila Ali Gets Married Gambling Ref Tim Donaghy

• ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT walks down the aisle with news that Laila Ali has traded in boxing ring for a wedding ring, as Muhammad Ali’s daughter ties the knot with former USC standout & NFL journeyman Curtis Conway:

Laila Ali Curtis Conway

• You can bet your bottom dollar that NBA REFS has all the news you need to know about gonzo gambler Tim Donaghy.

• SPORTS FROG is dumb-hounded by Emmitt Smith’s recent comments on the Michael Vick boonDOGgle:

Emmit Smith Michael Vick

• The LONDON GUARDIAN reports over 100 frustrated fans of a Brazilian soccer club held protests outside the home of the team’s president following a bad loss.

• DAWG SPORTS airs their grievances with ESPN and adds five ways to fix the Worldwide Leader:

Ron Burgundy ESPN

And the L.A.-based HEISMAN PUNDIT also chimes in.

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE bulks up with video of a 14-year-old benchpressing 185 pounds 48 times.

• Speaking of heavy lifting, the COLUMBUS DISPATCH has this quote from Ohio State coach Jim Tressel about his team’s expanded weight room:

Jim Tressel Boombox

There is a huge sound system in here that will just about blow your head off. I make them turn it to country when I come in.”

• MORE CREDIBLE shields its eyes from the sight of ESPN’s Michelle Bonner morphing into the female Chris Berman:

Michelle Bonner Chris Berman

• John Sleeper of the EVERETT (WA) HERALD challenges fantasy football foes to draft their league winnings toward feeding the unfortunate.

• BOILED SPORTS finds this photo of acclaimed MLB blogger Alyssa Milano overinflating her newest blow-up boy toy:

Alyssa Milano Jeff Garlin

• Sarah Schorno of the HUFFINGTON POST is surprised that fans & players seem to know more about the wrongdoings in sports than league commissioners do.

Amputee Heather Mills Headlines Dancing With The Stars Celebrity Field

DOWN-ON-THEIR-LUCK-CAREERS-IN-DECLINE STARS LOOK TO GET LEG UP ON ABC’S DANCING WITH THE STARS: USA TODAY unleashes the linup of b-, c-, and d-list dancing celebrities dying to dazzle their way back into the spotlight.

Heather Mills Dancing With The Stars Paul McCartney

Highlighting the field is amputee Heather Mills, she of the multiple German hardcore porn performances and Paul McCartney beatdown.

Dancing With The Stars Clyde Drexler Apollo Ohno Laila Ali

Sports figures include: Clyde Drexler, Laila Ali and speedskater Apolo Ohno.

Laila Ali Next Up For Dancing With The Stars

Boxer Laila Ali, aka Madame Butterfly, will try to bring us to our knees as she fills the role of pseudo sports celeb in the new episode of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” according to the rumor site

Ali’s light-weight competition includes Billy Ray Cyrus, Ian Ziering and Joey Fatone, who all hope to erase that ugly memory of Emmitt Smith’s third-season victory.

Season Four starts in March. Consider yourself warned.

SERENA NO TENNIS MEN-ACE: Serena Williams tel…

SERENA NO TENNIS MEN-ACE: Serena Williams tells the ASSOCIATED PRESS not to expect an Annika-esque crossover anytime soon: "With tennis it’s like Lennox Lewis against Laila Ali, but for golf maybe it’s different. I’d have no chance against Andre Agassi."

Doesn’t Serena mean Lennox Lewis against Mike Tyson?