• STL SPORTS MAG has a leg up on the perfect item for all those St. Louis baseball brides-to-be: an officially licensed Cardinals wedding garter.

• BOOSH MAGAZINE invites readers to guess the ages (and thus the legality) of the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team.

• THE SLANCH REPORT poaches the periods, as new Brewer C.C. Sabathia actually prefers to go by “CC Sabathia“.

• UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL thinks it’s a blast that the Newcastle United soccer club may be sold to the Bin Laden family.

• POP CRUNCH finds Cynthia Rodriguez sticking it to soon-to-be ex-hubby A-Rod by using his credit card for a $100,000 weekend shopping spree.

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We are on constant José Lima watch. We set our Google News alerts to Defcon Lima. Our timepiece runs on Lima Time. (Do not expect us to arrive in a timely fashion. Or effectively.) We would stop CPR on a wounded orphan to watch him pitch batting practice to Little Leaguers.

Why, you ask? Why on Earth would we waste our time with a career 5.26 ERA that parlayed two good years in the late 90s into a career far more lucrative than he ever merited? First, we’ll look for any excuse to run this picture again:

We often forget while viewing this picture (for rather obvious reasons) that he’s singing the National Anthem. Like, on purpose. With a microphone. To others. Not in a bar at 1:30 am. He has a monitor in his ear as if it would help.

So what’s José Lima been up to over the last year or so? EAST WINDUP CHRONICLE found him in Korea, doing what comes best to José Lima:

Did we mention how much we love Lima Time?

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You may remember Jose Lima, the pitcher who won 21 games with the Astros in 1999 and played for the Dodgers in 2006.

Now do you remember? Anyway, Lima Time is back…sort of. Technically, he’s 13 hours ahead. Read more…