The UFL season begins in about a week, as if you didn’t have the date circled with a sparkly glow pen. In addition to rolling out the schedule, we’ve also got your announcers for the Versus TV broadcasts. You’ve got your Doug Flutie, your Dave Sims, your Kordell Stewart … wait, what? But most importantly of all …

Gratuitous Anita Marks. If anyone were cut out to be a UFL sideline reporter, it’s Ms. Marks, who has not only been a  broadcasting fixture on radio, but also a quarterback in the Women’s Professional Football League and a Playboy model. Ha, match that resume, Suzy Kolber.

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• KICKETTE passes along photographic proof that Fernando Torres, hero of Spain’s Euro 2008 championship, needs to get some more sun.

We recommend a bold bronzed look along the lines of former Miss Spain & current TV sports reporter Ines Sainz.

• The Steelers aren’t the only NFL team rumored for sale, as the FLORIDA TIMES UNION hears that the Jaguars may be on the shopping block - and might soon be on their way to Los Angeles.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK hears reasons from Plaxico Burress why Kordell Stewart didn’t have a gay old time in Pittsburgh.

• HARDWOOD PAROXYSM is bedeviled by these nine Duke players who became such douchebags in the NBA. Maybe a stint on garbage detail could have straightened them out.

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