Back in September, Iowa Hawkeyes star wide receiver Derrell Johnson-Koulianos posted this message on his Facebook account:

Finally Captain Kirk has put my issues with the media to bed! For those who read his comments today, there you have it! Coach Killjoy and Mr. Fun-Haver have reached a mutual agreement - Playing time over T.V. time! Some may be disappointed with my decision, but I feel it is unnecessary to jeopardize this opportunity for a few media sound bites. See you in January! M.P.O.D.

Decoded: Iowa Coach Kirk “Captain Killjoy” Ferentz had told Johnson-Koulianos, Iowa’s career leader in receptions and receiving yardage and a first-team all-Big Ten selection this season, to stop talking to the media.

Before Johnson-Koulianos’s Facebook message, Mike Hlas of the CEDAR RAPIDS GAZETTE reported this exchange on Sept. 29, 2010 between Ferentz and the Iowa media.

Q. Doesn’t seem like he wants to talk to us this year. Did we do something to make him mad?

COACH FERENTZ: I don’t think you did. I think he loves you guys actually, talking in general terms. You can move in with him in January. Help yourself. I told him that, too. He can Twitter. Can have a ball (laughter).

From the news out of Iowa City this morning, it turns out the media was the least of  Johnson-Koulianos’s worries. Read more…

Monday morning Univ. of Iowa offensive lineman Josh Koeppel was hit head-on by a truck while riding a moped through an Iowa City intersection. Video of the collision was captured by a police cruiser’s dashboard camera.

Incredibly, Koeppel not only survived the crash, but walked away relatively unscathed.

Tuesday night, the QUAD CITY TIMES updated Koeppel’s condition: Read more…

Last August, SPORTSbyBROOKS pointed out all the Iowa Hawkeyes football team arrests since 2007, foolishly thinking that being charged with 22 crimes couldn’t possibly be bested.  However, that was incredibly foolish as Iowa’s now up to 26 different Hawkeyes being arrested or ticketed since April ‘07, some with multiple offenses (including coach Kirk Ferentz’s son).

(The official drunk Hawkeye image of SPORTSbyBROOKS)

And we have another arrest to add the pile.  In this case, we have the added difficulty modifier of operating a moped while intoxicated that came to the police’s attention when Iowa offensive lineman Kyle Calloway plowed into a police barracade.  (Gee, wonder how he got that moped…)

Read more…

It’s worth noting that Iowa defensive end Adrian Clayborn, a starter in 2008, committed this crime back in January, but after a couple of months of investigation, police determined that the defensive end’s brutal attack on a cab driver at 2 a.m. was worthy of criminal prosecution. As such, he’s now facing charges of assault and, to his credit, he turned himself in … then pleaded not guilty despite a heck of a lot of evidence (eyewitnesses maybe) stacked against him.

(It’s a lot scarier when you realize that he has a history of punching people in the face at close range.)

The story, which we found over at BLACK HEART GOLD PANTS, with a later plea update from ESPN.com, goes something like this: Clayborn was driving home from some Iowa City hotspot (oxymoron? It might be) on Jan. 20 - or 18th, if you take ESPN’s word for it (we’re sticking with BLACK HEART) - when he got caught in a nasty traffic jam. After reaching an outright boiling point, Clayborn attacked a cab driver by punching him through the open driver’s side window, causing facial injuries and utter shock at the fact that he punched a cabbie through a window.

Read more…

Ask any Iowa State or opposing Big Ten football fan, and they’ll readily point out that you can’t spell Iowa without the letters O, W, and I. Whether that maxim holds any merit outside of coincidence is debatable; after all, you can’t spell “theatrical” without H, I, T, L, E, and R, but that doesn’t mean that every drama major you know is a Nazi*. But it does underscore the fact that as college football programs go, Iowa has fielded a buttload of drunk drivers recently–three recently, and even one by current NFL star Bob Sanders in 2002 (which, for the record, we were unable to verify).

(Herky’s going through a rough time right now, is all…)

Unfortunately for Iowa fans, it’s time to add one more to the list. Shaun Prater, who was coming off a true freshman campaign where he established himself as a quality backup cornerback, was popped for an OWI around 1:00 a.m. Saturday morning. No crash, nobody hurt, but definitely not the right move in a football program where the coach is handing out 4-game suspensions for public intox or even suspending his own son for possession of alcohol.

The devil is in the details, though, and there appears to be more afoot than your typical OWI here. During the arrest, Prater told the police something that shakes this case - nay, society - to its very core: Read more…

You have to give Mike D’Antoni credit for trying something innovative, even if it didn’t work out. For the second straight game, the New York Knicks rolled out their “Box and Zero” defense, which essentially challenges the other team’s best player to beat them by refusing to cover him under any circumstances. But just like against Kobe Bryant and the Lakers on Monday night, somehow it didn’t work out against the Cavaliers either.

Actually, I’m not sure what defense D’Antoni had his team running the last two games, but “none” comes to mind: a game after giving up 61 points to Bryant, the Knicks did the impossible: made another superstar have an even more incredible performance, as LeBron James scored 52 points in the Cavaliers’ 107-102 victory and became the first NBA player since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1975 to score 50+ points as part of a triple-double.

James also joined Michael Jordan as the only players to have multiple 50 points games in the new Madison Square Garden. Any time you’re mentioned in the same breath as Kareem and Jordan, you are doing something right. And did I mention that this was the tail end of a back-to-back? And that the Cavaliers were without three of their players due to injury and illness?

And in case you’re wondering, it doesn’t get any easier for the Knicks. Their next opponent to come into the Garden? The Boston Celtics on Friday night. I can’t imagine what Kevin Garnett could possibly do to upstage Kobe and LeBron - perhaps pick Nate Robinson up and slam him through the basket while clutching the ball?

Raiders running back Justin Fargas wasn’t breaking any records last night, unless it was “Stupidest Appearance in a Hip-Hop Video.” Because if you are an NFL player, and you know the league is on the warpath about its image and substance abuse, I would think that appearing in a video with someone called “Yukman” as he smokes a blunt that would make Cheech & Chong quiver in their tie-dyes isn’t such a great idea.

But PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that’s exactly what Fargas did. And honestly, are we shocked by this? Not that an NFL player would be so brazen about assoicating with potheads, but that it would be Fargas. I mean, his dad was Huggy Bear, for crying out loud.  Just look at his dad:

Being shocked that his son is involved with marijuana is like being shocked that one of Bob Marley’s kids has a taste for the ganja. The video is up at WORLD STAR HIP HOP: go grab some Fritos and see it yourself.

While you pick the seeds out of your buds, here’s some more sports wackness from last night:

• What’s the perfect gift for your teammates after you’ve won the Super Bowl? If you’re Hines Ward, PITTSBURGH SPORTS AND MINI PONIES says it’s a specially-embroidered Crown Royal Cask No. 16.



• THE SPORTING BLOG wants to know: are you ready for a remake of “Slap Shot”? Yeah, me either, especially since it’s from the guy who brought you “Fun With Dick and Jane.” As long as no Baldwins are involved in the making of this film, then at least it’s a start.
• It’s bad for a college football program when when of your four-star linebacker recruits gets busted for a DUI. But when that school is BYU? Yikes. COUGAR BLUE has the story of Kyle Van Noy, who won’t be playing for the Cougars next year.
• The WICHITA EAGLE wants you to look at the swinging watch and read the story of the high school basketball coach who turned to hypnotism to break his team’s slump and the school board that didn’t like it. Also, please send them a check for $500 dollars. And cluck like a chicken whenever you hear the word “beans.”
• That sound you heard was Dick Vitale openly weeping for the Duke basketball team, as the Blue Devils dropped a close 74-47 game to Clemson. The WINSTON SALEM-JOURNAL picks up the pieces from the wreckage.
• No matter how many times you ask Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz about the Kansas City Chiefs head coaching job, COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says he’s going to tell you he isn’t interested. Which puts him right there with Larry Johnson and Tony Gonzalez in terms of people who don’t want to be involved with the Chiefs.
• Blah blah blah the LOS ANGELES TIMES says David Beckham wants to stay at AC Milan full time yada yada yada please go away now.
• The LAS CRUCES SUN-NEWS reports that New Mexico State freshman forward Terrance Joyner was arrested at the El Paso Airport - presumably on his way to fly out to play Utah State tonight - with two ounces of marijuana. Maybe he and Justin Fargas can start a comedy team?
• A bizarre story from the TELEGRAPH: a man finds an iPod belonging to a Manchester City soccer player, and tries to charge him thousands of dollars to get it back. But police say there is no “sensitive material” on the iPod. Really?
• The DALLAS MORNING NEWS speaks with Dan Reeves after he joined the Cowboys as a consultant and then abruptly left. Or didn’t. It’s realy confusing - old people are weird.

It’s not every year that the final regular season of the NFL game means something. NBC flexed their way to the Chargers eliminating the Broncos in a semi-playoff game to capture the AFC West berth into the playoffs. The Dolphins, Vikings, Eagles, and Ravens were the other teams to punch their tickets in the 11th hour, and you know how airlines hate it when you check in late. This leaves our 12 teams arranged for your graphic pleasure as such:

The four divisional games will skip hand in hand toward the Emerald Cigar City in hopes of overcoming the evil flying monkeys known as “losing in the playoffs.” Those swell games begin Saturday. That’s six days. I hope you’ve already found a couch in which to park your butt.

A telltale sign your team is on a roll: two people are open for the same pass. When LaDainian Tomlinson wasn’t going long for the pass, he was passing San Diego native Marcus Allen for career touchdowns, finishing the regular season with 126 for second most all time.

The 52-21 rout of the Broncos creates an 8-8 playoff team for the eighth time in NFL history, and the first time in the AFC since the 1991 New York Jets. While the Chargers are rollin’ like James Brolin, only twice have 8-8 teams won a playoff game, and they both happened in 2004 (Minnesota over Green Bay, St. Louis over Seattle). They will host the 12-4 Colts. Hmm. I wonder if these two teams have played each other in the playoffs before.

This man is Lonnie Cooper. You’ve never heard of him, unless he was your Secret Santa, or if you are one of nine NBA coaches that called him “my agent” at the start of the season. The NBA called six of those coaches “fired” in a span of 24 days:

The firings began Nov. 22, when P. J. Carlesimo was dismissed by the Oklahoma City Thunder. Two days later, Eddie Jordan was fired by the Washington Wizards. Sam Mitchell (Toronto) was the next to go, then Randy Wittman (Minnesota) and Maurice Cheeks (Philadelphia). The purge continued Dec. 15, with the Sacramento Kings firing Reggie Theus.

His active clientele still includes Doc Rivers, Jim O’Brien, and Nate McMillan, and Kings interim coach Kenny Natt is his client, too. But to have three of nine coaches make it. Three of nine. Three of nine. Hmm. Maybe Shaq should inquire about his services.

As we gust our way to the finish line:

• If you watch closely, you can actually see the string Bill Belichick pulls that gets Matt Cassel’s punt down to the 1-yard line. It’s so nice to see cheating coaches get back to the fundamentals of impish tomfoolery. Funner fact: the last time a Patriots quarterback punted it away: Tom Brady in 2003. And where did his land? Why, the 1-yard line, of course (last item).
• LOSER WITH SOCKS notices that Charter Cable subscribers in Montgomery, Alabama will tentatively be without FOX on January 2, but all they’ll miss is the Sugar Bowl. But it’s Friday night. Go and get some friends or throw a Boggle party. Expand your mind, ya’ ingrates.
• DEADSPIN has video of Eagles owner Jeff Lurie. He is so jazzed to have his team in the playoffs, he’s willing to slap his wife in the face in the form of a high-five.
• STEROID NATION has news of a notable baseball player taking steroids. Just kidding, I said “baseball player” to get your attention because there’s no other way to get people to care about non-baseball players taking steroids. BALCO bigwig Victor Conte details “Sugar” Shane Mosley’s purchases of EPO and anabolic steroids. Would it help your interest if I photoshopped a baseball on top of Mosley’s pectoral muscles?
• Oh, it looks like Brad Penny is eversoclose to a one-year deal with the Red Sox, so sayeth FOX SPORTS’ Ken Rosenthal, who can quietly add another point into the non-white player to Boston category.
• Sportswriters who cover the Cotton Bowl get their own swag, HUNTSVILLE TIMES’ Paul Gattis notes. When ‘Bama was in the Cotton Bowl in 2005, this valiant sportswriter received, among other things, get free tickets to Frank Caliendo. Ooh, I wonder if he did his John Madden impression? Have you seen it before? OF COURSE YOU HAVE. YOU OWN A TV.
• Thanks, OREGON LIVE, for writing the headlines that need no explanation:

  

  Hey, it’s better than motel bologna.

• Staying with the OREGONIAN motif, rich nerd Paul Allen doesn’t let his Blazers sleep in his executive bedroom, except for Greg Oden because he’s taller and therefore better than everyone else. Fun fact: Sam Bowie was the only one allowed to play with Larry Weinberg’s Rubik’s cube.
• It’s best to just let THE DUGOUT spin out as much as they can on Kyle Farnsworth, for we are all better off for it, even if not everyone knows this.
• And finally, a bowl game happened last night. In the Independence Bowl, Northern Illinois fell 17-10 as Louisiana Tech wins their eighth game of thzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

According to the DES MOINES REGISTER, University of Iowa football players have racked up 19 citations for various shenanigans over the last 18 months.  That’s quite the thumb in the eye for head coach Kirk Ferentz, who has battled to restore some bit of order to youthful indiscretions by the bushelful.

(Drunk Hawkeye)

Needless to say, it did not help his case that he was making progress when his 19-year-old redshirt freshman center progeny had alcohol in his possession when the car he rode in was pulled over by police at 1:30 am Friday.  Thanks, son, for making it a nice round 20!  Look forward to more community service than Mother Teresa.
Read more…

• Hideki Matsui, collector of wedding bets & even bigger collector of porn.

• Tim Tebow was able to tantalize Lee Corso & crew to come down and cover the Gators’ spring practice game.

• No bones about it, skeletons were discovered during digging for the London Olympics.

• A collegiate catfight may have been caused by couple of gals claiming an assistant coach.

Read more…

MICHIGAN AD SAILING MILES AWAY FROM COACHING HIRE: Last weekend, when LSU coach Les Miles was thinking of jumping ship for Michigan, where was the athletic director?

Apparently out to sea:

Michael Rosenberg of the DETROIT FREE PRESS reels in the news that while Miles was awaiting word from Ann Arbor, no one in the athletic department could find AD Bill Martin.One source said that Martin had set sail for Florida last weekend, enjoying a boat show at a Key Largo yacht club. But efforts to contact the UM AD netted nothing.

So, was it absent-mindedness on Martin’s part for fleeing the scene when Les came a-looking? Or did Bill bolt on purpose, believing that Miles wasn’t the right match?

Jim Carty of the ANN ARBOR NEWS notes that Miles’ agent George Bass tried to contact Martin on his cell phone twice, and never got a call back.And when the media tried to get a hold of Martin on Tuesday, they got the same response - nothing. A school spokesman said the AD was in New York for a football awards dinner.

Maybe his phone batteries are low. Or maybe he needs a new network.

Luckily (or not) for the Maize & Blue, there’s still time to talk, as the Tigers won’t give Miles a new contract until after the BCS title game.

If Les is no more, there’s always Plan B with Kirk Ferentz.