Kimbo Now Reduced To Acting in Teen TV Movies

Poor Kimbo Slice. First, the MMA career goes in the tank after getting owned by Seth Petruzelli, and now his re-introduction to the world is going to come in the form of a TV movie. One that he agreed to do way back in August, when it still appeared as if he might be a legitimate fighter.

Kimbo Slice, thespian

So, those of you who just can’t get enough Kimbo can tune in this holiday season…to Nickelodeon. Kimbo has a guest-starring role in the film Drake and Josh: Best Christmas Ever. In it, he plays a con named “Bludge” who befriends Drake and Josh and helps them keep a promise to a foster family, or something. How heartwarming. Is “poor man’s Mr. T” what Kimbo has been aiming for all along?

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MMA Fighter Chokes Out Blogger For The Hell Of It

Who says all bloggers are guys in their pajamas, writing from their parents’ basement? Some of us are actually out there in the trenches, getting out hands dirty with some firsthand reporting. Like this here gonzo journalist, who’s on a mission to get choked out by an MMA Champion.

Choking Sign

Thanks to Dewey Hammond at HARD FOR THE YARD, but even more thanks to Frank Shamrock for choking the s**t out of Dewey for our amusement. So we’ve got YouTube videos of Kimbo Slice giving a kid a charley horse for $100, and we’ve got YouTube videos of Frank Shamrock squeezing a man’s windpipe and knocking him unconscious in seven seconds. And we thought Slice was a legitimate fighter, why? (Video after the jump.)
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After MMA Collapse, Kimbo Slice Turns To Boxing

When a celebrity’s 15 minutes of fame are finally up, for some reason they always turn their attention towards the boxing ring, where they stand in front of hundreds and pummel another “celebrity” all for some “charity”, which in most cases is their own bank account. Danny Bonaduce and Jose Canseco do so on a regular basis. John Wayne Bobbitt is heading into the ring this Saturday. So it makes sense that MMA star Kimbo Slice has apparently decided to revitalize his dying career by giving “the sweet science” a try.

Kimbo Slice

(Bet he could beat Bonaduce)

In an interview with Dan Le Batard, Slice admitted that he’s thinking about strapping on some larger gloves, agreeing to keep his feet on the ground, and stepping into the boxing ring. After all, he needs something to do while that weird legal stuff with his MMA contract gets sorted out.

But as MMARATED.COM points this, this move into the boxing world isn’t necessary something Slice should be looking forward to. Read more…

Speed Read: Phillies Not Fanatical About Hitting

Deciding to listen to Tim McCarver blather his way through World Series commentary on TV or turning the sound down and listening to the dulcet, confused tones of Joe Morgan on the radio is like choosing between swallowing broken glass or sliding down a razor blade hill - both choices hurt. But I went with the radio guys for Game 2, mainly because of Jon Miller. And as usual, Morgan got stuck on a mantra he kept repeating over and over throughout the game, this time about the Phillies’ not being able to hit with runners in scoring position.

Rays fan with Joe Maddon sign

Unlike many of his obsessions, he actually was right about this. But it doesn’t take a Hall of Famer to know that hitting 1-for-15 in a game (and 1-for-28 for the Series) is bad. And while they were able to find a way past the Rays in Game 1, they couldn’t on Thursday, as Tampa Bay held on for a, frankly, uninspiring 4-2 win to tie the Series at one game each.

Phillies bench during Game 2 of the World Series

Anyone who kept claiming that this was going to be the most entertaining Series possible can shut up now - of course Red Sox vs. Dodgers would have been more fun, and it couldn’t have been played at a more average level. This Series is less sizzling through two games as it is melting. At least we have things headed over to Philadelphia, where I’m sure the fans will be in fine spirits. Enjoy the trips, Rays!

West Virginia running back Noel Devine

Meanwhile, Auburn was busy just plain fizzling against West Virginia, as Noel Devine made “SEC speed” seem like a stoner going 20 miles per hour on his way to Taco Bell for some munchies. It was big run after big run, as Devine wound up with 207 yards rushing as the Mountaineers throttled the Tigers 34-17.

Think the fact that a supposedly “quality” SEC team just got waxed by an underachieving Big East squad will lead anyone to start questioning the conference’s credentials? Nah, didn’t think so either.

Here’s what else was happening while you were checking out The Flintstones’ kitchen:

Which Tampa Bay Ray is going to get the most heat from Phillies fans during Game 3?

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Blog-O-Rama: Kim K. Contends Reggie’s No Cheat

• SHOW STALKER informs us that Kim Kardashian trusts Reggie Bush not to cheat on her, no matter what one questionable gossip website says.

Kim Kardashian Reggie Bush

•  PEREZ HILTON sizes up SbB’s Jose Canseco web exclusive yesterday.

• REAR NAKED NEWS kicks up word that for last weekend’s Elite XC CBS show - the one where Kimbo was Sliced up in 14 seconds - the MMA organization didn’t get a dime, as all revenue went to the TV network.

• Over on his YARDBARKER blog, Baron Davis tells us how much fun he’s having as a new member of the Clippers. Such a great attitude can help us all get through these tough post-Elgin Baylor times.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED tunes in to a ruling from the FCC that Comcast should allow the NFL Network to be carried on their basic cable tier.

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Travis Henry Makes Bail; Dodgers & Clemson Wail

• Suspected cocaine trafficker & ex-NFL RB Travis Henry is out of jail on $400,000 bail. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Travis Henry Broncos

• The Los Angeles Dodgers and Clemson Tigers sure could use a hug.

• It was sink or swim for a Zimbabwe soccer squad. Unfortunately, one of their players drowned.

Morten Andersen wants a chance to kick the record of NFL’s oldest player.

• U-Dub and Wazzu are on pace to finish out their seasons with a finale we’re officially dubbing the Rotten Apple Cup.

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Taiwanese Baseball Scandal: Say It Ain’t So, Chen!

Say what you will about the Tim Donaghy mess - at least if a guy with the last name of “Gotti” tried to buy an NBA team, I feel confident that Commissioner David Stern would be skeptical. Apparently that’s not the case in baseball in Taiwan, where a consortium of alleged bookies and gangsters bought a team this season. And - what a shock - the CHINA POST reports that the team has been suspended and players and their coach have been arrested on charges of throwing a game last month.

Eight Chens Out

The team in question is the D-Media T-Rex, who play in the Chinese Professional Baseball League. Their team is co-owned by noted Taiwanese crime magnate Lin Ping-wen, who allegedly strong-armed his way into a share of the team’s ownership, and then started using his influence to fix games. Among the people arrested so far are bookmakers, the team’s coach and three players, including former MLB pitcher Cory Bailey, who also doubled as the team’s pitching coach.

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FL Commission Investigating Kimbo’s Glass Jaw

In a totally non-surprising move, the Florida agency that oversees MMA business has begun an investigation into whether Kimbo Slice threw last weekend’s fight with unheralded nutball Seth Petruzelli.

Kimbo Slice sucks
(This lame fight is brought to you by the letters K, T, F, and O.)

The agency’s decision comes a day after two curious comments in the media. First, Mike Wilbon said flat-out on PTI that Kimbo threw the fight, calling it “more of a phantom punch than [Muhammad] Ali had to knock out [Sonny] Liston in 1965.” It was a phantom kick, not a punch, but the message is still clear. Wilbon’s co-host for the day, Dan Le Batard removed all doubt when he asked Wilbon point-blank if he thought the fight was fixed, and Wilbon answered, “yes.”

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One Beating Just Isn’t Enough For Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco’s never-ending quest to somehow remain in the spotlight has led him to do some pretty odd things in the last few years. Of course there were the books that helped expose the steroid epidemic in Major League Baseball, and there was the appearance on “Moment of Truth”. Still, my favorite Jose Canseco moment had to be when he got his ass kicked by Vai Sikahema in a celebrity boxing match (celebrity being a relative term).

Well, it appears that one beat down just wasn’t enough for Jose. He loves the pain, he needs the pain. It’s how he knows he’s alive, and Jose wants to live again!

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Blog Jam: Maria Sharapova Is Not A Cheap Date

    Maria Sharapova

  • Ann Killion of the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS brings up a good point: Why is nobody going after Lou Piniella for being 0-6 in the playoffs, while Dusty Baker would’ve never escaped such criticism.

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