Bama’s Ingram Says He Golfed a ‘69′ In 8th Grade

Could you have ever imagined Kim Jong Il coming up in a discussion about the race for the Heisman Trophy? (Hold up on Clausen for a second, let me finish …)

Mark Ingram and Kim Jong Il: A couple of golfing legends

(Ingram claims he shot a 69 in 8th grade, still 35 shots shy of Kim)

Don Kausler Jr. of the BIRMINGHAM NEWS has a report today on Alabama running back Mark Ingram that reads like it was ripped straight from THE ONION:

How athletic is Alabama’s sophomore running back, who now is a front-runner for the Heisman Trophy?

He once bowled a 248.

And he once shot a 69 in golf.

As an eighth grader.

So, like the North Korean news agency that once reported Kim shot a round of -38, how did Kausler happen on this magnificient discovery and what exhaustive measures did he take to lock down the information as legitimate before publishing it in Alabama’s largest daily newspaper?

Which of these is true?

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Video: Anna Rawson’s First GoDaddy Commercial

Is Danica Patrick played out? It seems sudden, being that she’s still on the rise in her young IRL career and her commercials are still popular. But lo and behold, there’s two ladies in the latest GODADDY.COM commercial… and neither of them are her.

GoDaddy Anna Rawson
(Oh! Oh! They’re looking at each other like that! Something might happen!)

On the left is… some random GoDaddy eye candy. More importantly, on the right is the lovely Anna Rawson, a fixture of the LPGA & newest GoDaddy Girl. In a commercial that was supposed to air today before Bethpage Black was turned into the bottom of the ocean, Rawson and her ladypal are playing golf, when all of a sudden… oh, just watch for yourself on the video, which we’re pretty sure you can’t find anywhere else on the Internet yet (okay, technically, DEVIL BALL GOLF beat us by a day) after the break.

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Despite Being Dead, Kim Jong Il Prefers Short Hair

North Korea’s Kim Jong Il has not been seen in public since July. At least by anyone with camera. So there’s rampant speculation that he’s either in poor health or *please god* dead.

Kim Jong Il Bans Long Hair After Watching Soccer Game

(Actually in this particular case, probably shaved)

But according to the Soviet-style, state-run Korean Central News Agency, he appeared on Oct. 4 at a university soccer game between those epic rivals, “Kim Il-Sung University and Pyongyang University of Railways.” (Those dratted PUOR Splitters!)

The AFP reports via an Asian source that Kim departed at halftime. Not because of health reasons. Or pressing government business.

No, the bouffant-coiffed one was apparently pissed that some of the players had *gasp* long hair. Read more…

Michigan vs. Ohio St. Has Nothing On This Rivalry

You might hear commentators say that a good soccer rivalry is like a war. But what about when the two sides are officially at war? That’s what’s going to happen on Wednesday in Shanghai as North Korea takes on South Korea in a World Cup Qualifying match. You call Mexican soccer fans lobbing bags of urine at US players a “bitter rivalry”? Nice try - next time try kidnapping thousands of citizens.

North Korean soccer

The match is supposed to be a home match for North Korea, but it was moved after the government refused to let the South Korean national anthem play or flag to be raised. North Korea are the surprise leaders in their qualifying group after beating the United Arab Emirates 2-1 on Saturday, and a win against their rivals would put them in the driver’s seat for their first berth since 1966, when they knocked out Italy in arguably the best upset in World Cup history.

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