Man, we always hated those cool athlete kids in grade school that starred in all the sports. They were the big hitters and the quarterbacks and the soccer stars (usually overlapping) and they got all the attention and everyone thought they were so cool. They totally weren’t. That’s why we totally don’t like this Adam Bender kid from the Lexington, KY, area.

He’s got all the skills and he’s got all the starting spots and he throws all the touchdowns and he has one leg because he lost the other to cancer when he was a toddler and… wait, what?
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