Hey there, readers! Another Monday means it’s another return to that ol’ entertaining online standby - the SbB Clever Caption Contest!

Today’s photo features the old-now-new-again Minnesota Timberwolves coach Kevin McHale:

So, what’s up with Kev and his woeful Wolves? Submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap, with a chance to sign a 10-day contract with the T-Pups. (As if you could do any worse.)

Good luck, and good writing! If stumped, try using an Etch-A-Sketch.

• What happens when a married man has an affair with a 16-year-old cheerleader? Man & wife cruelly kill the cheerleader, of course.

• Derrick Rose needs to find some sleeping partners who aren’t so sharp.

• Panthers beat up Bucs, reign supreme over NFC South - for now.

• Corruption by an Illinois governor is no big surprise, but to bring the Cubs into his nefarious dealings? Monster!

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If you felt a twinge of deja vu when Kevin McHale stepped down as Vice President-GM of the Timberwolves yesterday to concentrate on the job of coaching the mismatch of talent he’s acquired, there’s a good reason for it. After all, we’ve been down this road before, with McHale coaching Minnesota to a 19-12 record after taking over from deposed Flip Saunders and leading the Wolves down the stretch in 2005.

(McHale’s new play for Rashad McCants.)

That’s a decent record, but according to at least one of the players on that team, the improvement may not have had much to do with McHale’s coaching acumen. According to an interview with Nuggets guard Anthony Carter in the ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS, McHale was more like a lost puppy than a bloodhound on the scent of a win in his first stint at Minnesota’s helm. Here’s what Carter had to say:

“He didn’t really know all the X’s and O’s, but he had a good assistant coaching staff that was helping him out with a lot of plays. He kind of let us run whatever we wanted.

“He was trying to draw plays, and it was like a little Etch and Sketch. Like a kid just messing around. . . . He just gave the clipboard to the assistant coaches sometimes.”

An Etch-a-Sketch? Really? He’s that bad, Anthony? And, while we’re at it, wouldn’t it be incredibly difficult to sketch out plays on an Etch-a-Sketch?
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After last week’s less-than-epic Houston vs. Jacksonville Monday Night Football tilt, just about anything would have been an improvement (short of a “dream pairing” of Dennis Miller and Tony Kornheiser). But last night was a great way to cap any week: two 9-3 teams in Tampa Bay and Carolina battling for first place in the NFC South.

And honestly, if you would have told me that Jeff Garcia was going to throw for more than 300 yards, I would have given the Bucs a pretty fair shot at winning the game. But the trump card turned out to be the Panthers’ RB duo of Smash & Dash, i.e. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, who helped the Panthers combine for almost 300 yards of rushing and a crucial 38-23 victory.

The person on Tampa Bay I feel sorry for is Antonio Bryant, who had a huge game in defeat, as in 200 yards of receiving. (How many fantasy football owners are cursing themselves this morning because they left him on their bench this week.) This included one of the most amazing touchdown catches you’ll see all year:

Speaking of amazing…USA TODAY has a breakdown of the final ballots for the college football Coaches’ Poll, and some of the votes are pretty unbelievable. Like that Utah’s Kyle Whittingham voted his team ahead of USC (I’d like to see that game on the field), or that Ty Willingham voted Missouri 11th despite getting killed in the Big XII Championship Game. But my favorite? Texas Tech’s Mike Leach voting the Red Raiders second - ahead of Florida and Texas. At least he had the decency to place the team that beat him by 44 ahead of Tech.

Some more sports insanity to brighten up your day:

• Kevin Garnett wants a meatball sub, and FOOD COURT LUNCH is going to give it to him. Oh yeah!



• Things just keep getting worse for Petty Enterprises: WTVD-TV says that the legendary NASCAR organization has laid off 39 employees while awaiting a merger or acquisition to save them. Meanwhile,  a disgruntled Kyle Petty tells NASCAR.COM that he’s been shown the door and is no longer with the organization.
• CC Sabathia in Dodger Blue? MLB.COM reports that the free-agent hurler ran into GM Ned Coletti at the lobby of Bellagio during Winter Meetings and told him he wants to pitch in LA next season.
• You think you have pressure in your job? Try being Wil Collins, who needed to sink a 18-foot par putt to earn his PGA Tour card on the final hole of Q-School. ESPN.COM tells you if he made it or not.
• Then again, Collins could have it worse: he could have been playing for the Detroit Lions since 2001. Which is why center Dominic Raiola isn’t sorry for giving the finger to heckling Lions fans during last week’s loss to the Vikings. In fact, he tells the AP that he’d give them his home address if they’d only fight fair.
• Could this be the end of the season for Tedy Bruschi? The BOSTON HERALD says that the Patriots’ linebacker is going to be placed on the Injured Reserve after banging up his knee on Sunday against the Seahawks.
• Tim Tebow might be waiting for a sign from above before making a decision, but Texas QB Colt McCoy has made up his mind: the DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports he’s coming back for his senior season. Apparently his God is a more decisive God.
• So Kevin McHale has to clean up the mess he made as GM of the Timberwolves now that he’s the coach. ON THE BALL wants Minnesota fans to cheer up: this was actually a demotion.
• PRO FOOTBALL TALK adds another gem to the Emmitt Smith Dictionary from his post-game appearance on ESPN: “amorition.”
• The ARGUS LEADER says that Vinnie Jones, the former bad boy English soccer player turned actor (he played Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand) is claiming self-defense in a bar brawl during a pheasant hunting trip in South Dakota. You can watch the security camera footage and judge for yourself. (Hint: he’s not the 300 lb. guy getting pummeled.)

Kevin Garnett returns to the Target Center with the Boston Celtics for the first time since he was traded by the Minnesota Timberwolves before the start of the 2007 season. And the ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS reports that despite the fact that their team went 22-60 last season and are 2-8 so far this season, and Garnett wound up, you know, winning a title, the Timberwolves’ top brass still insists that the seven-for-one trade was a good deal for the team.

Yup. And that Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps trade actually worked out for the Yankees, too. But keep in mind that this is a franchise that continues to employ Kevin McHale as the key decision-maker in their front office, despite the fact that he managed to help the franchise lose four first-round draft picks in an attempt to lock down Joe Smith to a long-term deal.

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No idea if Joanne Pitino acquired her CPR skills from a Matt Leinart- sponsored American Red Cross event, but the wife of Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino is a hero after saving the life of a passenger who suffered a heart attack during a recent flight.

From the BOSTON HERALD’S INSIDE TRACK:

Our spies in the sky say Mrs. P helped administer CPR and assisted with the oxygen mask after the man sitting next to her collapsed. The plane made an emergency landing in Philadelphia and the passenger made a full recovery!

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The Minnesota Timberwolves know you have a problem. You used to like the NBA when there was a franchise in Minneapolis, but you haven’t seen an NBA team in action since the Lakers left. Sure, you wanted to enjoy a Timberwolves game, but you also don’t want to pay NBA prices for D-League quality.

(Though McHale to continue his standard $5 charge for personal photos - all proceeds to Danny Ainge Career Advancement Foundation)

Glen A. Taylor, Kevin McHale, and the whole Timberwolves family has just the solution. If you call (or head to the Web site) now, you can sign up for the plan (via Michael Rand’s RANDBALL). You get all 43 home dates for one low price: the number of the lottery pick the Wolves ‘win’. If the Wolves get the #3 pick, you pay $3 a ticket. #6? Six bucks.

That’s right; if you call now, you could get 43 games for $43 and the pleasure of watching Michael Beasley jack it up 30 times a game. But wait; there’s more!

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