Kurt Rambis Hired As New Timberwolves Coach

Kids these days. The newer generations of NBA fans probably only know Kevin McHale, if they know him at all, as either the general manager/coach who spent the past few years running the Minnesota Timberwolves into the ground before being shown the door in June. Older fans, however, probably remember McHale best as the Celtics forward who clotheslined the bespectacled, bemulleted Lakers forward Kurt Rambis in the 1984 NBA Finals.

Kevin McHale Kurt Rambis

Now, 25 years later, REVENGE! Rambis has been hired away from the Lakers to replace  the deposed McHale as the head coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Sadly, it appears that the 80s mullet and black specs were casualties of his quest for revenge and were left somewhere on the Boston Garden floor.

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Week In Review: Laker Fans’ Celebration is a Riot

• The Lakers win the NBA title, and many Angelenos celebrate accordingly - if “Angeleno” is Spanish for “a$$hole“.

Lakers fan riot

• Baseball phenom Bryce Harper don’t need no education, plans to skip final two years of high school to become eligible for next year’s MLB draft.

• Posing for a new photoshoot, Anna Kournikova shows she’s still A-OK.

• “Joe Buck Live” makes its long-awaited(?) debut, and Artie Lange insures that it’s a memorable one.

• The mom of porn star Catalina Cruz used to work as a secretary for former Cleveland Browns coach Sam Rutigliano.

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McHale’s Move From Minny Tweeted With By Love

Kevin Love is the first one to tell, er, Tweet the world that Kevin McHale would be leaving the Timberwolves.

Kevin McHale Kevin Love Minnesota Timberwolves

• Now that’s what you call a road test fiesta! Thanks, Top Gear!

• Could Coach K depart Duke to land as head honcho for the Lakers?

Eddie Van Halen is very hot at Nike for ripping off his guitar to design their new shoes.

• The Stanley Cup takes a dip in Mario Lemieux’s pool.

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Speed Read: Love Tweets About McHale Leaving

You know that we’ve really gone through the looking glass when Kevin Love is breaking big NBA news via Twitter. That’s what happened just a few hours ago, as Love Tweeted us all that Kevin McHale will not be returning to the Timberwolves next season.

Kevin McHale Kevin Love

From Love’s Twitter feed, your finest source for breaking NBA news: “Today is a sad day … Kevin McHale will NOT be back as head coach this season.” As of this writing, however, the report has not been confirmed by the Timberwolves.

More from Love on Twitter:

P.S. I am not a breaking news guy…I had no idea no one knew..I’ll tell them I stayed at a holiday inn express last night. Always works…. about 6 hours ago

And from The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE:

Upon seeing the posting, a person in the league was told McHale sent a text message to Love indicating he was not coming back. The person requested anonymity because no official announcement has been made.

New team president David Kahn and a Timberwolves spokesman did not immediately return messages left by The Associated Press.

McHale and Love grew very close during the rookie’s first season in Minnesota, especially after McHale left his front office position to take over as coach in December.

During a breakfast with media members on Monday, Kahn said no decision had been made and he hoped to meet with McHale again this week.

Now on to the wacky world of baseball. To prove what kind of a game we’re dealing with, both Willy Taveras (0-for-his-past-32) and Chipper Jones (0-for-21) got hits for the Atlanta Braves on Tuesday against Cincinnati. But it was the Reds’ Killer Rain Delay Tarpaulin of Doom which stole the show. When it was all over, there were two lengthy rain delays, one very embarrassed groundskeeper and a 7-2 Cincinnati victory.

Reds killer tarp

The unfortunate lass above being swallowed by the tarp is Robin Habisch, whose colleagues have evidently never heard of the Army motto “No man left behind.” Attempting to roll out the tarp during heavy rain and wind during the top of the third, the grounds crew finally got the upper hand, only to have Habisch disappear underneath the fabric.

She groped around underneath, burrowing Bugs Bunny-like, until at last finding freedom. This all delighted Brandon Phillips, who mocked her relentlessly in the dugout afterward. And she even got interviewed by FSN.

Heavy rain resulted in the 1-hour, 54-minute delay in the top of the third inning. A member of the grounds crew lost her footing as she helped drag the tarp over the infield, leaving her trapped briefly. She got to her feet and found her way out unharmed, receiving an ovation from the 19,127 wet fans.

Crew chief Joe West herded the teams back onto the field with a steady rain falling and sections of the warning track submerged. Only two outs later, the rain turned back into a downpour, resulting in another delay of 21 minutes.

Laynce Nix drove in three runs with a groundout and a pair of doubles and Phillips had three hits, as the Reds ended a four-game losing streak.

And now from the land of personalized jerseys we get this Cardinals head-scratcher, which may be a reference to a St. Louis icon with whom I’m unaware (”Come on, catcher Pickles Dillhoefer, the Ghost Man! Jeez!”). But more likely, as pointed out by JOE SPORTS FAN, “Ghost Man” represents that imaginary runner used in pickup games when you’ve only got three or four players per team (also popular in Wiffle Ball).

Ghost Man

But why would anyone want to be Ghost Man? That guy sucked … he usually got on base with a single, which is lame when there’s only three fielders. Then, if you played by the same rules that I did, he advanced only one base per hit; two for a double, three for a triple — the Steve Balboni of pinch runners. So if he’s on second and you single cleanly to right, he’s too slow to score. Nice use of $300.

Other stories to ponder after figuring out exactly how many helium balloons it would actually take to lift your house

• New Zealand golf officials are experimenting with shortening official rounds to nine holes. This is met by cheers from everyone except caddies.

• It wasn’t a good day for Arkansas TV reporter Mike Irwin, who was trying to do a live remote from the CWS in Omaha when fan pandemonium broke out (below). Instead of rolling with it, though, Mike got pissed, and called for security. Why would I imagine that this is exactly how Joe Buck would have handled it?

• It goes to 11, and stops: Gabe Kapler’s four RBIs help the Rays end the Rockies’ 11-game winning streak.

• Speake High of Danville won the Alabama 1A softball title on Tuesday, days before the school is scheduled to close forever. Take that, downsizing.

• Delicious Pudge, anyone? Houston’s Ivan Rodriguez ties the MLB record for games played at catcher, at 2,226. Carlton Fisk immediately announces unretirement.

Could Bill Simmons Really Become T-Wolves GM?

The answer to the question posed in the headline all depends on whether you believe the numbers of email respondents being circulated by the “Bill Simmons for Minnesota GM” fan group on Facebook, or the number that the team is admitting its received publicly.

bill simmons card

(The next T-Wolves GM could be another Celtics fan.)

Either way, we know that Simmons — aka, ESPN’s “The Sports Guy” — has had more than 1,200 emails sent expressing support of his candidacy. And that’s a truly significant number for a team that averaged 27th in attendance last year, rarely drawing more than 15,000 fans per game.

Think about that for a second: If the reports about Simmons getting 15,000 emailers supporting him are correct, there would be more email supporters than fans at your average Minnesota game in 2008-09. Not hiring someone based on that fan backing would seem almost ludicrous from a financial planning and marketing standpoint.

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McHale’s A Monster; Same Said About Kobe’s Wife

Kevin McHale auditions for the lead role in “Not-So-Young Frankenstein“.

Kevin McHale Vanessa Bryant Kobe

• Speaking of monsters, Kobe’s former maid says she’s taken too much crap from the Laker star’s little missus, Vanessa Bryant.

• The NCAA women’s tournament is a sham, a mockery … a shamockery!

• More news in the Donte Stallworth situation: The receiver said he flashed his headlights at the pedestrian he soon it, who wasn’t in a crosswalk.

• An entire Argentinian soccer team gets ejected after fighting with fans.

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Wolves’ McHale Makes A Marvelous Frankenstein

A frightening find by THE BLOWTORCH:

Kevin McHale

That would be Minnesota Timberwolves coach Kevin McHale, who tries to spook the opposition by doing his dead-on Frankenstein impression.

Kevin McHale Frankenstein

As if being a T-Wolves fan wasn’t already scary enough.

Hasselhoff To Honor America Before Vegas Bowl

• Why tune in to the Las Vegas Bowl this Saturday? I got six words for ya: David Hasselhoff sings the national anthem.

Gary Coleman David Hasselhoff KITT

Any chance to elect Gary Coleman as Grand Marshal of the Las Vegas Bowl parade?

Stephon Marbury shows up courtside for the Knicks-Lakers game, after all - not on the bench, but in some pricey seats.

Brian Giles is slapped with a $10 million domestic abuse lawsuit. Is it true? Let’s go to the videotape.

Tony Dorsett’s nephew can score you some coke stronger than anything Mean Joe Greene tosses.

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Kevin McHale Blames Bloggers For Coach Firings

The walls certainly appear ready to collapse on Kevin McHale’s bunker as he coaches out the string with the Wolves and prepares for the inevitable postseason firing squad (if Tom Cruise doesn’t get there first to save the people of Minnesota!)

Kevin McHale

(Forget the standings, bloggers should judge McHale on how he demands the rapt attention of his players during timeouts)

Thankfully, since Coach McHale doesn’t know how to ‘X and O’, he had plenty of time this week to opine to Don Seeholzer of the ST. PAUL PIONEER-PRESS on why coaches are getting fired so rapidly this season.

And in a shocking development, McHale didn’t citing poor coaching for the unprecedented rash of firings. Instead, he said that bloggers are to blame for the trend. Read more…

NY Giants Try To Cover Up Busty Fan’s Bravado

• The New York Giants don’t appreciate one fan’s busting out of support.

Sondra Fortunato

T.O. has a new target for his temper tantrums: ESPN’s Ed Werder.

• Some Flyers float in to have some fun at a Philly frat party.

• The Arena League season, which was off, then on, is now off again.

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