Bless Jay Busbee of FROM THE MARBLES for reminding us that a “reality” series called “NASCAR Wives” will hit the airwaves on TLC on January 24th. (Remember when TLC meant “The Learning Channel” and not “We’ll Do Anything for Quick Cash”? Heck, the most recent name doesn’t even match the acronym. It’s like they’re not even trying.)
(If you can’t even get Jeff Gordon’s wife, what’s the point?)
Participants will include Kevin Harvick’s wife, Jeremy Mayfield’s wife, Mike Skinner’s wife, and Junior’s sister (who might be a wife but, c’mon, that’s a pretty tenuous connection and ruins the entire dramatic tension for us). As Busbee points out, this is totally controlled by NASCAR, so girls will not be going wild. We expect as much action as “Bonds on Bonds”. In fact, what’s Pedro Gomez doing these days?
On Thursday, Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards got a little catty while rain halted qualifying at Charlotte. Before we go any further, words can’t do this situation justice, so let’s get this picture out of the way.
(Whoa! Careful there, Kimbo! Don’t hurt anyone!)
To recap, last weekend, Edwards caused a 12-car pileup that took out, among other drivers, Harvick. Harvick responded in a positively mature manner by calling Edwards a “pansy,” though we’re pretty sure Harvick would have chosen a slightly different word away from the media.
That low rumble you heard in Los Angeles last night wasn’t an earthquake - it was the sound of one million Dodger mini-flags being ripped off of cars simultaneously. The team didn’t have a total collapse like the Cubs, but a sixth-inning mini-meltdown of one bad throw and two lousy pitches undid the rest of the night and equaled a 3-2 defeat.
Dodger fans throughout LA have one question: when does the Lakers season start? That, and if Joe Torre should have lifted Derek Lowe after Chase Utley deposited a ball into the bleachers in right center to tie the game. I agree with the LA TIMES’ BLUE NOTES that you have to leave Lowe in: he had been cruising along until then. If you want to find a goat, look at Rafael Furcal going 0-4 at the top of the line-up and making a lousy throw. Or the 6-7-8 hitters for the Dodgers, who went 1-11.
And speaking of finger-pointing: Clemson Tigers, meet your fans! If you thought that the fans were hard on you after your loss to Maryland, you probably want to schedule some extra sessions with the team therapist to deal with the fallout from your 12-7 loss to Wake Forest and practically Auburn-like offense. Perhaps it’s just karma for taking away Ray Ray McElrathbey’s scholarship in the off-season.
Here’s some more news to ponder while watching the Dow Jones Index go down another hundred points. Wait, make it two hundred! Three hundred! Wow, I didn’t even know it could go into negative numbers…
- YAHOO! SPORTS weighs in that MMA sensation Gina Carano is putting her career - and health - in danger by having to continually struggle to make weight.
- So who is throwing out the first pitch for the Rays before Game 1 of the ALCS? The TAMPA TRIBUNE says that it will be 11 original season ticket holders. Dick Vitale will have to wait until Game 2.
- The CANTON REPOSITORY says that if Romeo Crennel had a vote, his players would keep their politics to themselves after Brady Quinn introduced John McCain at a local rally and Willie McGinnest publicly backed Barack Obama.
- Maybe McCain’s campaign should hire Don Cherry to yell at him for motivation: after the Maple Leaf’s management was ripped by the blustery Canadian broadcasting legend, Toronto went out and beat the defending Stanley Cup champions Detroit Red Wings during the NHL Opening Night Except for Games Played in Europe.
- While his brother might be taking the high road about the New York Yankees, Frank Torre isn’t, gloating to the USA TODAY about the Yankees’ misfortune this season.
- NASCAR drivers acting like idiots, and neither of them are named Tony Stewart? The CHARLOTTE OBSERVER says that Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards scuffled in the garage as fall-out from last week’s wreck at Talladega.
- Enjoy it while you can, Clippers fans, even if it’s the preseason - LA’s second NBA team takes out the Lakers 107-80, which doesn’t keep Phil Jackson from suggesting to a TV reporter that the Clippers should move to Fresno. Ouch.
- And speaking of Fresno: the FRESNO BEE notes that apparently the NCAA frowns on having a local club host your 21st birthday party with ads in the paper, as Bulldogs RB Ryan Mathews found out.
- Want to be an MLB player? Well, the Royals are almost a big league team, and the KANSAS CITY STAR says that they are having open tryouts this weekend.
- And finally, a story about Notre Dame lineman Pat Kuntz and his ever-changing hairstyle, which is now a Mohawk. Gentlemen, I’ll leave the jokes about the landing strip of hair on Kuntz to you in comments.
Tags: Barack Obama
, Brady Quinn
, Carl Edwards
, Chase Utley
, Clemson Tigers
, Cleveland Browns
, Derek Lowe
, Detroit Red Wings
, Don Cherry
, Frank Torre
, Fresno State Bulldogs
, Gina Carano
, Joe Torre
, John Mccain
, Kansas City Royals
, Kevin Harvick
, Los Angeles Clippers
, Los Angeles Dodgers
, Los Angeles Lakers
, New York Yankees
, Notre Dame Fighting Irish
, Pat Kuntz
, Philadelphia Phillies
, Phil Jackson
, Rafael Furcal
, Ray Ray Mcelrathbey
, Romeo Crennel
, Ryan Mathews
, Tampa Bay Rays
, Tommy Bowden
, Toronto Maple Leafs
, Wake Forest Demon Deacons
, Willie Mcginnest