• How did porn star Jenna Jameson & MMA fighter Tito Ortiz first meet? It was through the modern miracle of MySpace!

• The Nuggets sting the Hornets with a record-tying playoff blowout.

• Bob Knight would appreciate it if the Dutch media wouldn’t f***ing ask him about the f***ing chair-throwing incident.

• Could you stand yet another day of the NFL Draft - in primetime, even?

• Al Roker & Donald Trump have thrown some of the most fabulously futile first pitches at Fenway.

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While the entire human population of the world is freaking out about a possible swine flu pandemic, this is a scary time for the animal kingdom as well. Just last week, 21 polo horses dropped dead in Florida due to a medication mixup. The other day, 38 assorted animals died in a fire at a California wildlife refuge. If you’re an animal, especially a horse, watching the news as of late has got to be depressing indeed.

Sadly, the animal carnage continued today at Churchill Downs, where, according to multiple sources including DEADSPIN, a 2-year-old filly named Raspberry Miss died and another horse, Dr. Rap, was injured in a horse-on-horse collision during a training session.

(Video after the jump.)

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Alysheba, the ‘87 Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner, was put down last night after hurting his right hind leg in a fall caused by a degenerative spinal condition.  The 25-year-old stallion bred in Saudi Arabia, Versailles (KY), and Lexington in his lucrative second career after being dubbed “Horse of the Year” in 1988.  (Travis Henry is impressed.)

We now understand why Billy Gillispie was in a hurry to get out of town; he might have thought Kentuckians treat their broken-down basketball coaches in the same fashion.  (And he may not be entirely wrong.)

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Imagine if Jesus had a brother. What would the pressure be like on him? Never mind his Jewish mother always asking why he couldn’t be more like his brother, he’d have the expectations of the world on his shoulders. Anything short of being the Messiah would make his life and career seem insignificant by comparison. That’s the burden carried by Nicanor, the brother of Barbaro, who also died for our sins.

(Admit it, this could be any horse and you’d have no idea.)

You may remember Barbaro, who won one freaking race, thereby becoming the most important horse ever. His full brother Nicanor, a late bloomer, is going to run his first race in a few weeks, and already has the NEW YORK TIMES tracking his every step gallop. Unfortunately his trainer says “he needed some time to grow up mentally,” making him seem more Raymond Babbitt than Henri Richard.

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And the hits keep on coming for horse racing’s fragile base. Yesterday, two horses fractured rather important parts of their limbs during normal Saturday racing at Churchill Downs (home of the Kentucky Derby) and had to be put down.

In the first of those accidents, the jockey (Shaun Bridgmohan) tumbled off the injured horse and was kicked by a passing steed before coming to a dramatic halt. Bridgmohan took a few bumps and bruises but avoided the barbiturate overdose recommended by the vet for the two damaged stallions.

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Horse racing picked up a valuable lesson from one of its endlessly circling brethren over the weekend when Big Brown won the Kentucky Derby in overwhelming fashion: get sponsors on the horses. Big Brown’s association with UPS (who likes their association with racing of all types) gave UPS $1.4 million in indirect exposure.

(By the way, we always wonder about those ‘exposure’ numbers that try to measure indirect publicity. We suspect the math works on a similar level to the Oscar viewership numbers and counting iTunes songs. And how do they factor in the Maker’s Mark we’ve consumed that will wipe our memory of the race?)

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Since Eight Belles’ tragic injury at Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, coupled with Barbaro’s drama from a few years ago, questions are being raised over the safety and protection of race horses. And PETA is unsurprisingly getting in the act, demanding that Eight Belles’ jockey be suspended & investigated.

However, as people wonder what can be done to protect these steeds, one galloping vigilante has taken matters into his own hands … er, hooves.

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• David Warner of AOL FANHOUSE uncovers news that Tiffany May, the semi-clothed streaker at a recent U.S. Olympic qualifying match, will now be shedding her clothes for Playboy.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY (via THE DARTMOUTH) keeps both feet on the ground, as a future Big Green QB was almost killed by kitesurfing. But we suppose it could have been worse.

• KARE-TV reports that the ex-Vikings law-breaking trifecta is now complete. First Carl Eller, then Darrion Scott - now Onterrio Smith joins the jailbirds by getting cuffed for a DUI.

• THE ANGRY T finds some fashionable fillies breaking out the big hats at the Kentucky Derby.

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For us, the Kentucky Derby is an opportunity to relive Hunter S. Thompson’s well-documented 1970 trip to enjoy the masterpiece of Southern life and horse racing. Therefore, welcome to our yearly attempt to live up to the Gonzo search for the Kentucky Derby ideal:

“So the face I was trying to find in Churchill Downs that weekend was a symbol, in my own mind, of the whole doomed atavistic culture that makes the Kentucky Derby what it is.”

We’ll do our best.

On our trip south, let’s make a pit stop in Long Island, NY, where a charming couple chose to stop into the local off-track book to enjoy the Kentucky Derby. How grand, right? Unfortunately, they left their two-month-old in the car during the 20-minute stopover. Police frowned upon that; both have been arrested.

(It’s okay, though, officers! The mother left the heat on in the car. It’s like a baby chicken egg.)

That’s an auspicious start; let’s look at the celebrities and locals that graced Churchill Downs with their “pretentious mix of booze, failed dreams and a terminal identity crisis”. (Thank you, Hunter.)

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• Move over, Allie LaForce: WHEN KEGSTANDS GO WRONG serves up yet another collegiate challenger to someday succeed sideline siren Erin Andrews - Liberty University sports reporter Samantha Steele:

Better watch your back, Erin!

On second thought, we’ll watch it for you.

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More from SPORTSbyBROOKS, (Sports celebrity gossip updated every day!):

Arizona Cardinal’s secret nudie model wife!

Lingerie Football League player sues ex-boyfriend over nude cellphone photos!

Russian Figure Skater Anna Semenovich buys huge new boobs, joins girl group!

Olympic Champion Pole Vaulter (photo below): “If We Are Ugly Nobody Will Be Interested.”

The best butt in women’s tennis revealed!

And be sure and check out the EXCLUSIVE SPORTSbyBROOKS Girls!

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• DEADSPIN feels pretty, oh so pretty, as the WNBA gives their rookie class some fashion tips.

• Papa John’s wants to make up for their LeBron James “Crybaby” shirts by offering Clevelanders 23-cent pizzas. Unfortunately, the garlic sauce will now cost $11.99.

• Darren Rovell of CNBC knows Big Brown is in good hands, as the Kentucky Derby winner is insured for $50 million.

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