If Danica & Ashley show up in “Speed Racer 2“, then we might go see it.

• A well-meaning “Melons” waitress helps clear the confusion about Roger Clemens mackin’ on a 15-year-old Mindy McCready.

• Ex-KC Chiefs kicker Nick Lowery is getting ready to marry to a major MILF - annnnnd it’s good!

• Having Richard Jefferson show up for a birthday celebration gets a party host all choked up.

• Kenny Mayne’s got a book out. Someday we may read it.

• John Wooden. Vin Scully. One night. One stage. Be there.

Read more…

Like all of us, I like Kenny Mayne. I think his deadpan delivery belongs on TV, and I hope he stays good and long at ESPN. I like mentioning him because it gives me the opportunity to roll out a Buster Keaton reference - which is who he reminds me of (next up: Scott Van Pelt as Harold Lloyd!).

(Buy it, we dare ya)

Kenny also reminds me of that quirky rock band that every major record label once had. No one bought their albums, but because that was a time when record companies actually made a lot of money, the add-on ensemble was a feather for those occupying the company penthouse.

I also want you to buy his new book, “An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport“. At least if you want to. I’m not here to deter you on that whatsoever (notice the pained, mixed signals?).

The last few weeks, a lot of us bloggers were emailed 3-4 times by Kenny’s publisher’s PR outfit, which cooked up some semi-lame gadgets to promote the book (ex. one email had Kenny declaring himself eligible for the NFL Draft). We mention this not to mock Kenny. If we were trying to move a book, we’d probably try something similar. Something, anything to get people to notice our offering in the now-noisy, well-read blogosphere. Read more…

A.J. Daulerio of DEADSPIN had the recent fortune of sitting down for a chummy chat with ESPN personality Kenny Mayne.

The stoic, deadpan, “Yahtzee!”-screaming, kayak-riding Dancer with the Stars was the first subject for the website’s newest venture, “Interviews of a Lifetime” - a feature that will do for sports blogging what “Who’s Now” did for sports television.

But we kid the Deadspinning staff.

So, why did Kenny agree to do the interview? Money? Prestige? The fact he has a book coming out entitled “An Incomplete & Inaccurate History of Sport” which hits bookstores on April 22? The world may never know.

Anyway, some fun facts Daulerio dragged out of Mayne’s mind:

Read more…

CUBAN CHA-CHA’S HIS WAY ONTO REALITY DANCE SHOW: Mark Cuban and Wayne Newton will finally duke it out on the dance floor:

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED waltzes in with news that the Dallas Mavericks owner will be appearing in the next upcoming season of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars”. Cuban will be following in the footsteps of past performers such as Clyde Drexler, Laila Ali and ESPN anchor Kenny Mayne.

The series follows 10 couples of paired-up celebrities and professional dancers as they trip the light fantastic before they trip up and off the show.

Cuban will be competing against such luminaries as former “90210″ star Jennie Garth, ex-Spice Girl Melanie Brown, and who’s sure to become his greatest rival - Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton.

Should be fun to hear the trash talk between these two!

• Jamie Mottram of MR. IRRELEVANT reckons a response to STOP MIKE LUPICA’s critique of AOL FANHOUSE:

• THE GHOSTS OF WAYNE FONTES gets out of committee and gives the sports blogosphere its quarterly review.

• Darren Rovell of CNBC reports the unfortunate news for Nike: A new Michael Vick Nike shoe “is scheduled to launch in two colorways on August 23 and the suggested retail price is $100. The shoes will likely arrive at retailers in three weeks.”

• THE SPORTING ORANGE gets its benjamins in order as Steve Spurrier launches his pay website:

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING gets writer’s cramp in telling us that Kenny Mayne plans to pen a book.

• THE SPORTS HERNIA gets its tummy a-rumblin’ with these lesser-known stadium snack concessions:

• SPORTS SQUEE has something for the ladies, as they rank the hottest quarterbacks in the NFL.

• PART MULE nabs a pair of brothers grabbing the bull by the horns - well, actually, it’s the other way around:

• RAISE THE W FLAG believes Barry Bonds didn’t want to make history at Wrigley Field.

• AOL FANHOUSE gets humped up about the new sport of camel wrestling:

• CORN NATION has their rankings of the Big 12 football coaches most likely to be fired.

KENNY MAYNE HOME RUN DERBY BOOGERCAM GOIN’ DEEP:

• CNBC’s Darren Rovell spots Spurs coach Gregg Popovich popping for pricey wine in Paris:

• Hey now, SI’s Arash Markazi, you’re an All-Star, get your game on, go play.

• PART MULE speaks now on the news that Terrell Owens doesn’t hold his peace at a Cabo wedding:

• ASTROS DAILY has the story of