Moving Day! I’m outta Miami this afternoon. Really excited, as I’m off to traverse the vast, fruited plain of our great nation, plumbing the depths of the valleys and climbing ever-higher, to the highest Nubian Peak:

(That’s almost as good as this- thanks Orson!)

By now you’ve probably seen Punter’s post on the Giants’ Super Bowl rings getting stolen from a jewelry store located just 10 miles from the Patriots’ offices. I’ve since heard from a league source that the rings were soon to be delivered to additional club employees (the players, coaches and top front office staff got theirs first).

So with the news of the heist, boy is Vladimir Putin ever pissed!

I’ve got some breaking news for LSU fans:

Nebraska was not a slave state.

From the Dept. of Unfounded, Uncalled-For Cheap Shots, I give you the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS: “Was that really the woman who accused Kobe Bryant of rape in Colorado at one of the Lakers-Celtics games in Boston? A source swears he saw her. Something seemed to be distracting Bryant.”

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Jerry Buss would have come to Boston, but he had a really good hand.

• Kenny Stabler tried to slither his way out of a DUI arrest.

(The Snake - then & now)

• Jason Peter is too much man for one Manhattan brothel.

• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has trouble getting into the Garden.

• Michael Strahan says he’s sailing off into the sunset. Sure he is.

• Queen Elizabeth’s granddaughter gallops off to the Olympics.

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Former Raiders quarterback Kenny Stabler was known as “The Snake” in his playing days, but has turned out to be no less slithery than when his playing days wound down 24 years ago.

Stabler tried to escape the pocket while driving under the influence of alcohol Sunday. But he was stopped short by police (unlike the San Diego Chargers in 1978) in Robertsdale, Alabama.

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