• The GUARDIAN dials up visions of Ana Ivanovic & Maria Sharapova facing off again - in a TV commercial for Sony Ericsson.

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS loves a parade - especially one honoring the NBA champion Celtics.

• Meanwhile, the BOSTON GLOBE dribbles up a full page ad congratulating the Celts paid for by the Patriots.

• ESPN’s HASHMARKS shoots up news that the Packers took the day off from practice to go play paintball.

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Brooks can’t wait to enjoy the next two Lakers-Celts games by wireless!

• Glad you liked our Gilbert Arenas quip, ESPN. Thanks for the shout-out!

• Smart ball - The fan who snagged Ken Griffey Jr.’s 600th home run came prepared with a distracting decoy.

• Some New York Giants Super Bowl rings were stolen in a Massachusetts jewel heist - perhaps by a perturbed Patriots coach?

• A minor league den mother keeps the baseball groupies at bay. Gee, thanks a lot.

• A one-armed shark attack survivor has blossomed into quite the surfing sweetie.

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The rightful owner of Ken Griffey, Jr.’s 600th home run ball, identified only as “Joe,” survived a series of small trials to come away with the prized souvenir.

In addition to having his story corroborated by instant replay, Joe had to survive a tussle at the park, where he dropped a fake ball that he brought to the game as a decoy to fool his fellow fans. Read more…

• THE SCORES REPORT learns how Roger Clemens was able to rise to the occasion so many time on the mound - he was taking Viagra during games.

No wonder the Rocket’s been so randy with Mindy & all those other girls.

• Meanwhile, THE SPORTING BLOG pedals up news that a Belgian cyclist was caught doing cocaine. But since it wasn’t before or during a race, he wasn’t breaking any riding rules.

• Attention, ladies & gentlemen: The BUFFALO NEWS reports that the Bills’ P.A. announcer has been arrested for hosting an underage drinking party.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY knows nothing impresses strength & conditioning coaches like killing an alligator with a shovel.

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• WITH LEATHER keeps abreast of the topless travels of English soccer WAG Abigail Clancy.

(WL’s got the hook-up for more photos of Abby’s freed funbags)

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE has the odds on who’ll become DEADSPIN’s next grand poopah.

• In the meantime, the soon-to-be Leitch-less site thinks it’s fabulous that gamblers can now bet on a gay sporting event.

• LAIST spikes up some provocative photos from last weekend’s Lushness X beach volleyball tournament.

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• KXAS-TV in Dallas dances up news that Jessica Simpson wants Tony Romo to appear in her new upcoming music video.

• KNUCKLE CURVE tosses along a comedic clip of a hefty Texas Rangers fan falling head over heels for a ballgirl.

• The DAYTON DAILY NEWS is speechless, as Ken Griffey Jr. shuts up a ridiculing mom & her kids by giving them autographed balls.

• CHICAGO BULL cracks a smile at seeing a Google ad for teeth whitening underneath the latest grinning mug shot of Cedric Benson.

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One by one, the SbB Girls are slowly taking over the media landscape.

• William “Refrigerator” Perry had to be brought in for maintenance.

• See what happens when you bite & punch kids just to grab a Ken Griffey Jr. home run ball? You wind up on the streets.

• Michael Irvin’s house is a very, very, very fine house.

• Geddy Lee Rushes to Kansas City to give some special autographed gifts to the Negro Leagues Museum.

• One EliteXC fighter wasn’t so impressed with Kimbo Slice’s primetime debut.

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