Citing past “divisive“comments by Rush Limbaugh, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell effectively squashed the conservative talkshow host’s bid to buy the St. Louis Rams today.

(NFL: majority of you think Limbaugh is racist, Olbermann isn’t) 

Anyone outside of Limbaugh’s most devoted followers will allow that Goodell’s “divisive” was really a euphemism for “racist,” with the former employed in an attempt to avoid alienating Limbaugh’s millions of NFL-product-consuming worshippers.

At the very least, it’s not unreasonable to observe Limbaugh as a polarizing figure in the world of politics. But if Goodell is going to eliminate Limbaugh from formally associating with the NFL, what about a current, NFL-affiliated person well-known in the world of bipolar political exploration - Keith Olbermann (Co-host, NBC’s Sunday Night Football In America studio show.)

(NFL rebuke: most genuinely embarrassing moment of Limbaugh’s public life)

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Nothing of monumental import here, but amusing nonetheless. GAWKER, the gossip merchant and flagship site of the blog empire that includes DEADSPIN, GIZMODO, etc., was sent this photo by a tipster, from Saturday’s Yankees-Red Sox game. Supposedly it shows MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, with a FOX logo superimposed on his head. Ha ha. The irony! One problem, however.

He’s not Olbermann. And despite GAWKER editor John Cook’s claims to the contrary, he looks nothing like Olbermann. Cook’s threadbare explanation, following the jump. Read more…

If all you know is that Chargers’ linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested for choking buoyant reality diva Tila Tequila on Sunday, then you don’t know the elongated, PENTHOUSE FORUM version which just surfaced last night. This story gets quite a lot more naked, as it turns out.

Because frankly all of this was boring me until I found out it included Merriman’s attempt to have a threesome; a drunk Tequila walking in on it; Tequila then threatening to have sex with one of Merriman’s friends; Tequila getting naked as she made this threat and attempting to run out of the house; Merriman choking her to keep her from leaving. Am I leaving anything out? Read more…

Since the NFL — indeed, the world — is not yet ready for Michael Vick and Maurice Clarett trying to catch on with a team at the same time, the latter is going to stay in prison. For now. Clarett, the former Ohio State running back who led the Buckeyes to a national championship in 2003, has withdrawn a request for early release from prison that would have allowed him, he said, to pursue an NFL career.

For someone who hasn’t played a meaningful down of football since his freshman year in college, Clarett has spent an alarming amount of time in the public consciousness. He’s hung out with Los Angeles rap stars, been drafted in the NFL, been involved with drug running and the Israeli mob, and was even the subject of a case ultimately decided by U.S. Court of Appeals judge Sonia Sotomayor. Even though he’s only 25, he’s seemingly been everywhere and lived two lifetimes — sort of an evil Forrest Gump.

Although he’s now locked up, we have not forgotten about Maurice Clarett. One reason is that he’s blogging from lockup — or at least we’re led to believe that he is. Clarett isn’t allowed Internet access in prison, but he phones in his writings to a relative, who then posts them on a blog entitled The Mind of Maurice Clarett; a sort of orange jumpsuit poetry jam in which he dwells on his feelings more than the day-to-day details of life behind bars (which has led some to believe that he’s not even the one writing it). There’s no entry so far on his decision to withdraw his request for a pardon by Gov. Ted Strickland.

Franklin County Prosecutor Ron O’Brien opposed Clarett’s request for pardon, saying his conduct off the playing field did not warrant special consideration.

“My observation was then and is now he had no chance of obtaining clemency under the statute or by action of the governor so it’s probably wise” that he withdrew the request, O’Brien said.

Clarett hasn’t played football since 2005, when he was drafted by the Denver Broncos in the third round — a surprise move after an unimpressive NFL combine performance in which he was dubbed “Slo Mo” by the media.

He’s serving 7 1/2 years at the Toledo Correctional Institution after being convicted in 2006 of aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon, a chain of events that ended with his arrest while wearing a bulletproof vest with four weapons in his car, less than a mile from one of the robbery victims. He must serve at least 3½ years of that sentence, and although he pulled his request for early release, he still becomes eligible for judicial release in March of 2010.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that Clarett was on top of the world, rushing for 1,237 yards (a school record for a freshman) and scoring 18 touchdowns in helping lead Ohio State to a 14-0 record in 2002-03. The season culminated with Clarett scoring the winning touchdown against Miami in the Fiesta Bowl. But he was released from Ohio State for a variety of NCAA rules violations, then migrated to Los Angeles, where he hung out with rap stars, and began spiraling more and more out of control. He eventually tested the NFL’s eligibility rules in an attempt to enter the 2004 draft — an initially successful challenge that was overturned by United States Court of Appeals judge Sotomayor.

So Clarett has lost his latest battle to return to the free world, but has never lost his struggle to remain in the public eye. And I suppose that it’s good that we hear from him from time to time. If for nothing else, his presence serves as a cautionary tale.

“I’m a man and I struggle. I’m not speaking of anything specific. I’m just talking in general,” he wrote in his latest blog entry, dated Aug. 3.

“Depression comes and depression goes. Inspiring thoughts come and they flee as fast as they come. Sometimes my spirit is in balance and at others it runs wild. I’m not afraid. I just get a little confused at times. I know which way is up and I know how to identify a weasel from a mile away. I know who I love and I know why I love them. I don’t claim to be omniscient but I do claim to be a survivor of the urban circumstances and experiences. … I’m Youngstown’s own.”

We now lighten the mood and bring you back to the 18th hole at the Buick Open, where MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann reopens the Tiger Woods Fartgate investigation. If you haven’t seen, and thus heard, the infamous video of Woods allegedly farting while sizing up a shot during the tournament, you’re in luck, because Olbermann has rescued the footage from the abyss.

You can see/hear it here.

More interesting than the alleged emission itself — which now that I hear it sounds more like a Whoopee Cushion — is the fact that the PGA pulled all YouTube evidence of the video off the web moments after it happened. Folks, that’s the really hilarious part. Don’t make me come back here and explain this again.

Olbermann:

“Tiger broke 70 yesterday, perhaps after breaking something else. We can’t say for sure that it was The Tiger that roared … he might have had one of those Leslie Nielsen machines, or maybe John Daly stepped on a duck.”

If there was a second farter on the grassy knoll, kudos to him. Because that was some excellent timing.

We mentioned this briefly on Tuesday, but I feel that MAXIM’S take on David Ortiz’s Gmail inbox needs further scrutiny. It appeared Monday on their site and immediately won the Internets, delighting us with sample emails such as:

Erin Adrews: I know an ace PR guy …

Crate and Barrel: Fall is right around the corner! …

Alyssa Milano: Offer still stands — Bj, Hj, whatever you …

And the always hilarious:

C.C. Sabathia: FW: Red Lobster All-You-Can-Eat sampi!

And speaking of that fine magazine, let’s dive into this morning’s links, as we ponder why a 12-year-old boy would tell his mother that his subscription to ELECTRONIC GAMING had been somehow switched to MAXIM.

• The Reading Phillies set an attendance record on Wednesday for Pedro Martinez’s rehab start, in which he pitched decently, earning the win in an 8-4 victory over Trenton. Martinez struck out 10 of the first 17 batters he faced, finishing with 11 strikeouts over six innings. He gave up four runs, three earned. Fun fact: It was his first win at the AA level since 1991.

• So you’ve taken the summer off to visit every Major League Baseball park? That’s become somewhat of a cliche, don’t you think? The Taviano family of Columbus, Ohio has invented the new hotness: Visiting 52 zoos in 52 weeks. Marla Taviano, her husband and three daughters began their 22,000-mile quest last August, and ended it on Saturday at their hometown Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. That’s a lot of monkeys.

• Not sure what level of Little League the above video is from, but you can bet that Scott Boras has it playing on an endless loop in his office as you read this. As you can see, Jason Moody hits five home runs, including hitting for the home run cycle (watch the catcher, who is not amused). And in yet another example of this, a West Virginia Little Leaguer also hit for the home run cycle. Eli Canterbury, 12, of Barboursville, went 4-for-4 with four homers — solo, two-run and  three-run homers, and a grand slam in his final at-bat — as Canterbury’s Barboursville District I All-Stars beat East Huntington 19-1. No Major League player has ever hit for the homer cycle; the only time it’s happened in pro ball was by Tyrone Horne of the Double-A Arkansas Travelers in a 13-4 win over the San Antonio Missions on July 27, 1998.

• The Denver Broncos are one of the several NFL teams who prohibit players or personnel from using Twitter, but you’d never know it by listening to head coach Josh McDaniels. “I don’t really have a Twitter policy,” McDaniels said. “I don’t know what it means; I don’t know what it is. I don’t know MyFace, Spacebook, Facebook stuff. I don’t know what that is either.”

• Now let’s check in on your Chicago Cubs, who are locked in a death struggle with the Cardinals atop the NL Central. So surely when the Reds trotted out 32-year-old right-hander Justin Lehr on Wednesday — who was making only his second big league start — the Cubs would take advantage. D’oh! Lehr pitched a shutout, 4-0, as the Reds broke an eight-game losing streak.

• The Charleston RiverDogs will present “Illegal Use of Your Ed Hochuli Night” on Aug. 11, which will include “flex-offs,” and a Hochuli lookalike roaming the stands throwing penalty flags. So I would get your tickets now.

• Koren Robinson has had a troubled career; run off the tracks due to dropped passes, drinking and a run-in with the cops. The former Seahawk, Viking and Packer may be playing for the Orlando Tuskers of the UFL this season. Robinson was the ninth pick overall in the 2001 draft, the year that the Falcons chose a young man named Michael Vick with the No. 1 pick.

• Brandon Roy’s five-year contract extension will likely keep him in Portland for the rest of his career, and since he was born in Seattle, that’s OK. Roy has agreed in principle to the deal, with the fifth year, ending in 2015, as an option. Pending salary cap issues, it could be worth more than $80 million, the second-richest in Portland’s history.

• Meanwhile, here’s Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs, arriving at training camp and displaying what he thinks of a certain NFL rival. Suggs wears the shirt under his practice jersey.

• Who would have thought four years ago that Eli Manning would be making more money than Peyton Manning? Or Cooper Manning, for that matter? With his new $97.5 million contract, Eli will be making about $15.3 million annually, to Peyton’s $14.17 million.

The Lakers are already the defending champs, and while the Cavs are adding an over-the-hill Shaq and Boston is making overtures to the shell that once housed Rasheed Wallace, the champs may have made the biggest splash of all — adding the insane, yet extremely talented, Ron Artest.

(Odds Ron’s going to forget he’s Kobe’s teammate and gets a flagrant 2 on him? About 2-to-1.)

The news came somewhat out of nowhere last night, as ESPN was still reporting during the early evening hours on the east coast that LeBron James had been reaching out to Artest in an effort to get him to Cleveland. ESPN expert Chris Broussard went on Sportscenter downplaying that situation, and within a couple of hours Artest was in ESPN’s L.A. studio announcing his intention to sign with the Lakers for the mid-level exception.

This is all fine and dandy, but does nobody remember about this?

Although, to be honest, Artest is just about the only guy in the league who could do this and then ask Kobe to go out to Applebee’s afterward. This guy doesn’t exactly go about things the normal way. I mean, we are talking about a guy who once tried to work at Circuit City in the offseason to get the employee discount.

Here’s what Ron-Ron had to say about coming to L.A., according to CBS SPORTSLINE:

“L.A. is what it is,” Artest said. “I’ve been here for the whole summer, and it’s pretty good. It’s good for me. I know Lamar Odom, so that’s pretty cool.”

Awesome, they can totally ride bikes together and eat toooooons of gummy bears.

All the clamoring for the Lakers to pony up the cash to keep Trevor Ariza sure went away quickly, considering that Artest is accepting the mid-level (which will be under $6 million next year) while Ariza was looking for something in the $7 million+ range. And now word is out that Ariza will be taking Artest’s place in Houston, and will in fact accept the mid-level (though over the full term of five years).

(”Here’s how many titles I’m going to win in Houston.”)

I’ve seen baseball games delayed for a wide variety of reasons (I was at Shea Stadium once when the sprinklers came on unannounced, or there’s that one time a plane crashed beyond the left-field wall), but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a game get derailed by bees. In the ninth inning of yesterday’s Padres-Astros game at Petco Park, a swarm overtook a jacket that was draped over a chair down the left-field line (the coat belonged to a ball girl).

Apparently, the swarm’s queen bee took up residence inside the coat, which led to thousands of workers, or drones, or whatever they are, descending on the area around the jacket. It was nearly an hour before a beekeeper arrived on the scene to take care of the bees. He dove right into the jacket, sprayed the bees (which were in a mass about the size of a soccer ball) with some sort of agent, then shoveled the presumably dead bees into the jacket (PETA is already preparing to complain about this I’m sure), which was put into a plastic bag and carried away. Eyewitnesses report that the beekeeper received the biggest ovation of the day, as the Astros cruised to a 7-2 win.

Now, while you watch two guys named Andy battle it out on Center Court, here’s some links to get you through your Friday:

• The Phoenix Lifelock Mercury’s Diana Taurasi got a DUI early on Thursday morning. It’s about time WNBA players start acting like real athletes.

• A suspected rapist who was attempting to assault a woman yesterday in San Diego was fought off successfully by the woman, then he tried to run away from her. Which might have worked…if the woman wasn’t a marathon runner. Let’s just say the future’s not looking too bright for this guy right now.

• I’m a big 1964 Topps baseball card guy, partly because of the multiple laughable errors made throughout the set by Topps’ editorial staff, which seemed to exist of a five-year-old with a learning disability. And Keith Olbermann delivers us the most ridiculous error in the set (if you’re not getting it, just read Dave Bennett’s bio again):

• The World Series of Poker’s main event starts today at the Rio in Las Vegas, and among the thousands registered to play over the next few days is none other than Barack Obama. No, the Prez didn’t buy in himself — a poker pro named Richard Sklar (who also happens to be an ex-con) put up the $10,000 to enter him into the event. Sklar then made a number of bets with other pros that Obama would show up to play at least one hand. Chris “Jesus” Ferguson and Phil Gordon are among the pros who said they’d pony up big cash for charity if he does show. GAMBLING ONLINE has details, as does this thread at poker site TWO PLUS TWO.

•  The CFL has indeed fined Toronto WR Arland Bruce, who posed as Michael Jackson’s corpse in the end zone after scoring a touchdown on Wednesday.

•  In 1990, Family Feud had an entire episode pitting five Major League players against five umpires. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Rick Sutcliffe rocking the Cubs jersey tucked into jeans and the late, great Eric Gregg saying “what’s your name, baby?” Here’s Part 1 of 3 (thank you UNI WATCH for the tip):

• GAME ON says the rumors that the Texas Rangers had to borrow $15 million to meet payroll are not true, though there is a framework in place if they do need to borrow money. That’s comforting.

• New Grouch Chairman of the BCS Overlord Oversight Committee Harvey Perlman on the idea of a college football playoff (courtesy of the WIZ OF ODDS):

“If you look at college football now, it’s the greatest sporting event spread over September, October, November, December and a little bit of January that the country has. A playoff would seriously diminish the regular season, as it has in college basketball… This isn’t basketball. This isn’t March Madness. Football’s a different game, different environment. We have different traditions. It’s hard to see why a playoff is a good idea.”

I’m with you, Harvey. I don’t even know why any of these silly sports with their useless playoffs even have a regular season. An arbitrary, invitation-based system guided by a perplexing computer formula is obviously the way to go for any sport that wants to be taken seriously.

• Mariners prospect James McOwen (who honestly wasn’t much of a prospect prior to this year) extended his California League-record hitting streak to 39 games with a 3-for-4 night in the High Desert Mavericks’ 6-2 win over the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes at the most awesomely-named park in all of baseball — The Epicenter.

• Danica Patrick might want to stick to the GoDaddy stuff, and steer clear of the Elton John glasses:

Dan Patrick & Keith Olbermann - together again, Sundays this fall on NBC!

• Brian Bosworth is back in the news, and it’s for a noble deed indeed.

• Those appearing on Showtime’s new version of “Inside the NFL”, please step forward. Whoa, not so fast, Dan Marino.

• Chipper Jones apparently isn’t well known in “American Idol” circles.

• Lou Holtz’s friendship with the dearly(?) departed Jesse Helms may have cost the coach his Arkansas job.

• Jason Peter’s new book details a football life of drugs, hookers and attempted suicide - which makes for some great summer reading!

Read more…

Richard Sandomir of the NEW YORK TIMES has a bombshell today about Dan Patrick, reporting that the former ESPN SportsCenter anchor will be reunited with Keith Olbermann on NBC’s Sunday Night Football broadcasts.

Nice play by Dick Ebersol, especially when it comes to boosting Patrick’s profile, who is currently saddled with a syndicated radio show that has very little live clearance in major markets (save Los Angeles). This is the sort of thing that could really help his daily show take off.

Think about Jim Rome’s radio show before he became a stalwart on Fox Sports Net’s “The Last Word.” Besides his L.A. flagship, he was taking calls everyday from the likes of Lincoln, Nebraska, and Green Bay. The TV presence brought him more prestige and pushed him into the sports media mainstream- with the accompanying major market radio affiliates to follow. The NBC thing for Patrick may function similarly. We’ll see.

More details from SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY:

Ebersol said of the set-up of the show, which runs from 7:00-8:30pm ET, “Highlights that begin at 7:15 (ET) will be Dan and Keith. They’ll do the highlights straight through until about 8:00, with the exception of one segment that Cris and Bob will do somewhere around 7:30 or 7:40.” He added the mics for all members of the studio team, which also includes Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Peter King, will be open, allowing them to comment when they feel like it.

In addition to “FNIA,” Patrick will also be part of the net’s Super Bowl coverage when it has TV rights, as well as a member of NBC’s Olympics coverage beginning with the 2010 Vancouver Games.

I’m sure Dan is broken up about missing out on Beijing. Aw, shucks!

I spent most of Sunday midday watching the Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal match. The pair helped me get quite the workout on the treadmill at my gym, as I couldn’t bring myself to leave until the match’s conclusion (three hours later!).

I haven’t watched much tennis lately, so I was a little perplexed about who was calling the PBP of the Wimbledon men’s finals match. After I heard John McEnroe refer to his partner as “Ted” I then realized that former SF Giants announcer Ted Robinson was behind the mic.

Robinson, who is a longtime tennis guy as well, was serviceable in his role, but when Dick Enberg appeared for ESPN for some post-match analysis, it made me a little sad that he wasn’t still NBC’s main tennis voice. I remember Enberg’s Wimbledon call well for those Borg- and Connors-McEnroe epics. And from what I’ve heard from Enberg’s recent work, there’s no doubt that he could easily still be doing big events for NBC.

NBC drew a 4.6 rating for the match, which is the highest number in eight years for the broadcast. The figure is also up 44 percent from last year’s finals, which ironically featured the same combatants.

ESPN’s Bud Collins to Sports Biz Daily on Federer-Nadal: “I’ve covered 41 finals, including the classics of 1980 and 1981 with (Bjorn) Borg and (John) McEnroe, but this 4 hour, 48 minute final is No. 1.”

(NBC Wimbledon PBP not the same without Dickie E.)

Collins is another guy, like Enberg, who should’ve never been kicked to the curb. He was plenty lucid in his reportage on ESPN with Luke Jensen, who I also liked.

The NYT’s Sandomir also pins down Joe Buck on comments he made to ESPN Radio about not watching much baseball (among other things) and having to cram to get ready for his FOX games.

Sandomir wrote, “On Thursday, Buck said in an interview from his home in St. Louis that he was joking about his TV habits — even if neither the host nor the guest sounded amused. He was too flippant, he said. And so, a little verbal damage control.”

Safe to say Buck heard from Fox Sports TV management about his embarrassing comments made to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd.

Also interesting to note that Sandomir made no mention of the only reason anyone is talking about the comments at all. If it wasn’t for Brian Powell at AWFUL ANNOUNCING posting about the on-air exchange, you can guarantee Buck would’ve been in the clear (I’m guessing Cowherd & Co. don’t look at it that way).

One person who today is probably disappointed with Buck’s backpedal is Kyle Nagel of the DAYTON DAILY NEWS, who columnized after Buck’s comments that the announcer was in the right.

Brewers broadcaster Jim Powell breaks down the C.C. Sabathia deal and the man behind it, Doug Melvin, better than anyone I’ve seen, heard or read.

Forest Griffin playing at the WSOP moments after his UFC win over Rampage Jackson:

The WASHINGTON POST has the sad news that Wizards Owner Abe Pollin is now confined to a wheelchair “because of progressive supranuclear palsy, a disorder of the brain that impairs movement and balance.”

The 84-year-old Pollin: “(It’s a) horrible disease. But I’m fighting it.”

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Since the unexpected passing of Tim Russert last Friday, NBC has been faced with the difficult decision of finding a new host for “Meet The Press”. For this Sunday, Brian Williams will serve as temporary moderator - then other NBC, MSNBC & CNBC personalities will sub in for future shows.

One member of this morbid musical chairs is Keith Olbermann. (Sure, he may be into the politico thing over at MSNBC, but will always fondly remember him for his days with Dan Patrick on “SportsCenter“.) In fact - at least according to the NEW YORK POST’S PAGE SIX - Olbermann wants Russert’s job so bad that he’s ready to quit if he doesn’t get it.

And Olbermann’s cable cohort Chris Matthews is also vying for the spot. The Post additionally reports that at memorial service for Russert on Wednesday, Matthews was overheard plotting strategy to take Tim’s place.

And that’s when the real fun begins. Read more…

• SHUTDOWN CORNER chows down on the revelation that Redskins TE Chris Cooley wouldn’t be where he is today (like marrying cheerleaders) if not for the fine fast food folks of McDonalds, Taco Bell, etc.

Wonder how the meals were on his honeymoon.

• WITH LEATHER drives up news that the North Las Vegas P.D. thinks Ben Roethlisberger is a big dummy.

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS zings up video of “Scrubs” star Zach Braff’s small-screen debut - as a horny student at ESPN’s Bristol University.

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS jabs up word that promising pugilist Jose Canseco wants to go a few rounds with Curt Schilling.

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This Cedric Benson boating brouhaha keeps getting better & better.

• It’s no surprise that Danica Patrick would have men falling at her feet - but under her tires?

• Shaquille O’Neal is caught talking out of his ass again.

• Don’t tell anyone, but Ray Allen’s mom & step-dad are in the witness protection program.

• What’s in your wallet? One Florida Gator had a dead woman’s credit card in his.

• Tony Dungy takes time during a Tampa school visit to talk smack about the Pats.

Read more…